Teens and sex in the house

Mojisola

ilikewatch wrote: »

If my children choose to have one night stands with strangers I would rather it was in a safer environment such as my house, rather than in the back of a car parked in the middle of nowhere, or down some alley way behind a kebab shop.

I think you're unusual with that view.

I wouldn't want complete strangers coming back to my house and spending the night. I wouldn't bring home a stranger and give them free rein in my house while everyone was sleeping!

My kids knew that, when they were in relationships, their partners were welcome to stay over but these were people we had met.

ilikewatch

Mojisola wrote: »

I think you're unusual with that view.

I wouldn't want complete strangers coming back to my house and spending the night. I wouldn't bring home a stranger and give them free rein in my house while everyone was sleeping!

My kids knew that, when they were in relationships, their partners were welcome to stay over but these were people we had met.

I may well be unusual, but I doubt that I'm unique. At the end of the day, a significant number of teenagers from accross a wide range of backgrounds will regularly choose to have one night stands with strangers. A minority of these will feel able to go to a safe, familiar environment (such as their own or a parents house). The majority won't have anywhere safe and familiar to go, and so will take a much bigger risk by going to a strangers house, or an improvised location.

jellyhead

And while people in their 20's might be more likely to have one night stands with people they meet in night clubs I think it's less likely with teenagers. According to my son and his friends there's a culture at the moment of not sleeping around, of waiting until they are in stable relationships. Perhaps it depends on their peer group and what they are into.

tea_lover

ilikewatch wrote: »

The majority won't have anywhere safe and familiar to go, and so will take a much bigger risk by going to a strangers house, or an improvised location.

But it's only familiar to one of them. If this is someone they've just met then it's always going to be a stranger's house, iyswim.

ilikewatch

tea_lover wrote: »

But it's only familiar to one of them. If this is someone they've just met then it's always going to be a stranger's house, iyswim.

I quite agree, but at the end of the day I would far prefer that it was the other person, rather than my child who was taking the risk of going to a strangers house.

ilikewatch

jellyhead wrote: »

And while people in their 20's might be more likely to have one night stands with people they meet in night clubs I think it's less likely with teenagers. According to my son and his friends there's a culture at the moment of not sleeping around, of waiting until they are in stable relationships. Perhaps it depends on their peer group and what they are into.

Anecdotally, it seems to me that teens who are into more alternative culture tend to value "proper relationships" more, whereas those who are more mainstream/townie appear to be more promiscuous.*

*This is partly based on the observations of a friends teenage son, who told me over Christmas that although he hates the music and the prices he has started going to our local "Ritzy" instead of the local alternative club because it's guaranteed that he'll pull.

Mojisola

ilikewatch wrote: »

I quite agree, but at the end of the day I would far prefer that it was the other person, rather than my child who was taking the risk of going to a strangers house.

But your household is at risk as well. You would have no idea who is spending the night in your house.

I'd be concerned about theft as a minimum danger - I certainly wouldn't want strangers in the house if there were younger children living there.

Would you really trust your own judgement to bring a total stranger to stay in your house while you went to bed - let alone the judgement of a hormonally-driven teenager under the influence of drink or drugs?

tea_lover

ilikewatch wrote: »

I quite agree, but at the end of the day I would far prefer that it was the other person, rather than my child who was taking the risk of going to a strangers house.

But how much difference does the building really make? Your child would be in their own home admittedly, but still with a stranger. So effectively it's putting the whole family at risk.

ilikewatch

tea_lover wrote: »

But how much difference does the building really make? Your child would be in their own home admittedly, but still with a stranger. So effectively it's putting the whole family at risk.

I think that the risk posed:

a) to a (probably inebriated) inexperienced teenager who is completely isolated from their support network in a strange location.

is far greater than the risk posed:

b) to a family, in their own home with (probably 2) sober adults present.

But, at the end of the day it's up to everyone to evaluate the risks themselves and make their own decisions based on their own feelings.

Mojisola

ilikewatch wrote: »

I think that the risk posed:

a) to a (probably inebriated) inexperienced teenager who is completely isolated from their support network in a strange location.

is far greater than the risk posed:

b) to a family, in their own home with (probably 2) sober adults present.

But, at the end of the day it's up to everyone to evaluate the risks themselves and make their own decisions based on their own feelings.

Who could wake up in the morning to find their computers, TV and other stuff is missing along with the car which has been driven off using the keys found in the house.