Teens and sex in the house

Person_one

littlepinkstars44 wrote: »

I don't think sex is wrong, but don't believe teenagers and children should be having sex, especially right under their parent's noses. I can't pin point exactly why, it's just not the normal thing to me and my family. It just feels wrong to be allowing two teenagers the means and freedom to be having sex. Perhaps it's because I've been brought up catholic, as has my partner, friends and family.
As I've said if it works for you or your family fair enough, this is just my personal opinion.

Your sex life is entirely your business, but maybe your future children might want a slightly better explanation!

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

It's probably a generation thing - but I don't think that I like the idea of "having sex" - but making love is a completely different thing.

I think it's more or less the same thing, one's just a euphemism for the other. :cool:

securityguy

littlepinkstars44 wrote: »

I don't think sex is wrong, but don't believe teenagers and children should be having sex, especially right under their parent's noses.

A relative of mine made a huge song and dance about how her children shouldn't expect to bring boy/girl friends back home, and continued making this fuss when they were in their twenties and living elsewhere. Morals, respect, religion, yaddah yaddah yaddah, me me me.

She's now in her seventies, housebound, lonely, and desperate for her children and grandchildren to visit. She doesn't see them from one year to the next, because oddly enough if you make people feel unwelcome when they're twenty five, they can find better things to do when they're fifty. According to my parents, who saw her last year, she still can't see any link between being noisily unwelcoming to her children's partners, and her children's disinclination to visit.

thorsoak

Glitterfairy's problem is that the daughter of her OH has never had any boundaries set by her mother regarding her sexual appetite/activity.

She has asked for other peoples' views on whether it is acceptable for this young woman to bring back random strangers into the home of Glitterfairy's family - which includes two young girls. She doesn't think it safe and neither do most of the posters.

It's all very well saying "well - if she doesn't have sex in the home, where will she be safe" - she may well not be safe ANYWHERE having sex with a stranger.

Glitterfairy has had a chat with the young lady in question and has made the position clear that this is not acceptable in their family home, and it would appear that she recognises that if she wants to stay in the family that she makes other arrangements.

Wilma33

This rule some parents have about gfs/bfs not staying over, does this also apply if they ask to stay over for practical/logistical reasons? My bf lived miles away. I never would have asked if he could stay over "just because", but sometime it was necessary for practical reasons e.g. we had a plane to catch early the next morning, or we went to new years eve party in my town, etc. But it was always separate rooms. Even though bf and I shared a room when we went on holiday with my parents :-/

claire16c

littlepinkstars44 wrote: »

There is a difference between coming back to the house and sleeping over. He is here quite a lot actually, but I would just never even imagine him sleeping over here....it is just so alien to me! lol I suppose it's all how we were brought up, each to their own lol!
My brother is 10 years younger than me, and he will have the exact same rules as I did as a teenager. He does have a girlfriend of 6 months, we have all met her..but again there is no way she would be allowed to stay here or him stay over at her house.

Maybe he lives round the corner from you or something but isn't it a pain if he's come over for the evening he has to then leave? Like not drink, or get a cab, or perhaps just is sleepy or tired and he has to get up & go home?

I presume your parents have relatives sometimes stay over how is it different?

Can't he even sleep on the couch?!

claire16c

Wilma33 wrote: »

This rule some parents have about gfs/bfs not staying over, does this also apply if they ask to stay over for practical/logistical reasons? My bf lived miles away. I never would have asked if he could stay over "just because", but sometime it was necessary for practical reasons e.g. we had a plane to catch early the next morning, or we went to new years eve party in my town, etc. But it was always separate rooms. Even though bf and I shared a room when we went on holiday with my parents :-/

Why on a holiday? You paid for an entire extra room?!

The logistical thing happened to me because my DH used glad be in the army. He would have had to have paid for a hotel or something!

Which is what happened to my friends boyfriend as they wouldn't let him stay. She ended up moving out much earlier than planned at 19 because her parents made it so difficult for them. It ruined their relationship for a long time. And now they're married so her parents really made a fuss over nothing.

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

Glitterfairy's problem is that the daughter of her OH has never had any boundaries set by her mother regarding her sexual appetite/activity.

She has asked for other peoples' views on whether it is acceptable for this young woman to bring back random strangers into the home of Glitterfairy's family - which includes two young girls. She doesn't think it safe and neither do most of the posters.

It's all very well saying "well - if she doesn't have sex in the home, where will she be safe" - she may well not be safe ANYWHERE having sex with a stranger.

Glitterfairy has had a chat with the young lady in question and has made the position clear that this is not acceptable in their family home, and it would appear that she recognises that if she wants to stay in the family that she makes other arrangements.

Yes, I think we all agree it isn't appropriate to allow strangers into the home. Glitter fairy has posted an update though and the discussion has moved on a bit beyond her specific situation.

Wilma33

claire16c wrote: »

Why on a holiday? You paid for an entire extra room?!

We stayed in a two bed cottage and my parents had one room and me and my bf had the other. It's just a bit odd because we wouldn't share a room in my parents' house, but we would when on holiday with my parents :undecided

claire16c

Wilma33 wrote: »

We stayed in a two bed cottage and my parents had one room and me and my bf had the other. It's just a bit odd because we wouldn't share a room in my parent house, but we would when on holiday with my parents. :shrug:

Sorry I read too fast I thought you had stayed in separate rooms on the hol!