Teens and sex in the house

Wilma33

claire16c wrote: »

Sorry I read too fast I thought you had stayed in separate rooms on the hol!

Thinking about it now, my parents might have only tolerated it due to the money saving aspect. Very MSE :rotfl: Thanks Martin :money:

paulineb_2

One of my friends dad's was paying for a big wedding for her then it was cancelled because they had bought a house, the couple and she had stayed in it a few times before they were married. They had a smaller wedding and the dad was there but I can't imagine that relations between them were good for a while.

Sometimes its not about the sex, I'd say that some parents have a tough time accepting that their kids are growing up. Id say daughters particularly, I know a few friends who even though they were engaged, pressure was put on them not to live together before the wedding.

Jobseeeker

securityguy wrote: »

A relative of mine made a huge song and dance about how her children shouldn't expect to bring boy/girl friends back home, and continued making this fuss when they were in their twenties and living elsewhere. Morals, respect, religion, yaddah yaddah yaddah, me me me.

She's now in her seventies, housebound, lonely, and desperate for her children and grandchildren to visit. She doesn't see them from one year to the next, because oddly enough if you make people feel unwelcome when they're twenty five, they can find better things to do when they're fifty. According to my parents, who saw her last year, she still can't see any link between being noisily unwelcoming to her children's partners, and her children's disinclination to visit.

So if you don't let children bring strangers home for sex, you'll end up a lonely old woman! That's ridiculous

Person_one

Jobseeeker wrote: »

So if you don't let children bring strangers home for sex, you'll end up a lonely old woman! That's ridiculous

That post is clearly talking about boyfriends and girlfriends, partners, not strangers.

rageagainstessays

Can I just say- I wouldn't bring anyone back to my parents for sex. It'd take us ages to get up the stairs. She'd get harassed by my 7 stone black lab upon entering the door. At which point, the whole house would be awoken and see the walk of shame to and from the bedroom. Its all a nightmare. My parents aren't very conservative. Well actually I'm lying, they kind of are. My mother is kind of relatively disgusted by the thought of anything like that going within the boundaries of her land. Although, If I did I don't think she'd do anything about it. I'm male and 18 btw.

To my knowledge none of my friends parents have explicitly approved or disapproved. They know it goes on and stuff, but they sort of operate a 'don't ask, don't tell policy'. But there is one friend who has been told that she can't bring anyone home with her because she has a younger brothers (12 y.o and a 7 y.o) and it isn't appropriate for them to see 'strange blokes' in the house. I don't really understand that considering she's 19 now... and had a boyfriend... for 5 years who plays' football with her brothers at family bbq's.

So I guess the moral of the story is, if you don't want your child having sex in the house with strange blokes/girls after clubs- buy a big and over affectionate dog.

paulineb_2

securityguy wrote: »

A relative of mine made a huge song and dance about how her children shouldn't expect to bring boy/girl friends back home, and continued making this fuss when they were in their twenties and living elsewhere. Morals, respect, religion, yaddah yaddah yaddah, me me me.

She's now in her seventies, housebound, lonely, and desperate for her children and grandchildren to visit. She doesn't see them from one year to the next, because oddly enough if you make people feel unwelcome when they're twenty five, they can find better things to do when they're fifty. According to my parents, who saw her last year, she still can't see any link between being noisily unwelcoming to her children's partners, and her children's disinclination to visit.

Tbh I think that's sad. Grandkids don't always have a choice, particularly when they are young. Speaking as someone who lost her gran very suddenly, she was housebound and I bet lonely even though she had us, I'm glad my mum and the rest of my immediate family , that is my mum , brother and I made an effort and saw her regularly.

And my family went through some really tough and tragic times and some family members didn't always have the best relationships, but unless there's real reasons why its not safe to be around a family member, you make the effort, even if that's from a distance, phone call, card.

I do know some families have issues with abuse and violence and I'd never suggest reconciling if someone didn't feel safe?

But to hold onto stuff from 30 years ago? They might regret it when she's gone and wonder why they've not been left a penny or weren't welcome at her funeral as relatives of my gran weren't, because they couldn't be bothered driving ten miles to see her or even picking up the phone. She made it clear to my mum if she died she only wanted immediate family there and we respected her wishes.

Someone is old, housebound and desperate to see her kids and grandkids and is just left to it? That's about as callous as you can get in my view.

They might regret it in later years.

paulineb_2

And when I mentioned above about family members not always having the best of relationships I wasn't talking about these family members who couldn't be bothered with my gran for ten years at a time, she did nothing to them, they simply couldn't be bothered with her, just that sometimes, even if a family are very close, they can go through stuff that tests their relationship greatly.

If people can forgive and make allowances unless there's real reasons why its not safe to be around someone, well, you might just be making a difference to that person.

Its one thing to stay away, its another when past issues cause someone to be estranged from their grandkids as well.

And the fact that someone is housebound, that's when you rely on other people more, because it's often harder to do the basics that fitter people take for granted.

jellyhead

Person_one wrote: »

My parents let my first serious boyfriend stay over, we were both 16. No harm befell us. Sex is normal, natural, it's an important part of a loving relationship. 17 seems like a perfectly normal age to be having sex as long as they're well informed about how to be safe and sensible.

They are safe and sensible, and apparently her parents have said that when she turns 17 she will be allowed to sleep over.

It will be fine ... It's because she was under 16 when they started to date, so it never came up. Now that they are older, things will change.

itsanne

Person_one wrote: »

I think it's more or less the same thing, one's just a euphemism for the other. :cool:

I'm more with thorsoak here. They can be interchangeable, but they aren't always.


At 59 I'm more than a little surprised at the circumstances of some of the younger people on here, and their acceptance of the status quo. It's one thing not allowing one night stands, but quite another to object to longstanding partners who live together sharing a room. Strange hangups some people have :cool:.

Person_one

paulineb wrote: »

Tbh I think that's sad. Grandkids don't always have a choice, particularly when they are young. Speaking as someone who lost her gran very suddenly, she was housebound and I bet lonely even though she had us, I'm glad my mum and the rest of my immediate family , that is my mum , brother and I made an effort and saw her regularly.

And my family went through some really tough and tragic times and some family members didn't always have the best relationships, but unless there's real reasons why its not safe to be around a family member, you make the effort, even if that's from a distance, phone call, card.

I do know some families have issues with abuse and violence and I'd never suggest reconciling if someone didn't feel safe?

But to hold onto stuff from 30 years ago? They might regret it when she's gone and wonder why they've not been left a penny or weren't welcome at her funeral as relatives of my gran weren't, because they couldn't be bothered driving ten miles to see her or even picking up the phone. She made it clear to my mum if she died she only wanted immediate family there and we respected her wishes.

Someone is old, housebound and desperate to see her kids and grandkids and is just left to it? That's about as callous as you can get in my view.

They might regret it in later years.

Grandchildren don't tend to feel very warmly towards grandparents who they have seen treating their parents badly. It's nothing to do with being safe and everything to do with not wasting time on an unpleasant person they don't care about, regardless of DNA.

If you want good relationships, be good to people.