Would this bother you?

DaveTheMus

notanewuser.......do you have any siblings yourself?

notanewuser

DaveTheMus wrote: »

notanewuser.......do you have any siblings yourself?

I have, yes. A sister. Why?

notanewuser

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I'm not being awkward or anything but I really don't see why you've posted.

Both you and your OH believe that his brothers have taken the urine by inter-lending your stuff and are annoyed by it, to the extent that he will be saying something.

Now if it was a case of you getting annoyed and him not seeing what the problem was or vice versa then I could understand why you've asked us for our opinions - but as you are both singing from the same hymn sheet why ask us?

Because, as per my posts, I wanted to know whether this is something others would be annoyed about, and what they would do about it.

System

Yes I'd be annoyed. Yes I'd be angry at myself for being so trusting bit if I'd asked for the stuff back and it wasn't forthcoming I'd have to write it off as a lesson learned as there wouldnt be anything else I could do.

DaveTheMus

notanewuser wrote: »

I have, yes. A sister. Why?

I'm guessing that she is your older sister...from the posts in this thread it just appears that you don't really appreciate the bond and love that siblings have with each other and as someone who has 2 brothers and 1 sister, all younger than me, I can see it perfectly reasonable that if I would lend something to my brother then I would 100% lend it to my sister aswell.....one after the other if need dictated......if they lost it or it was broken I would call them an 'idiot' or something like that and it would end there......I would certainly never have any type of animosity........it's just the way my parents raised me...I get the feeling your husband would probably agree with me but just wants a quiet life.

gocurlygirl

I both loaned and gave items to family members who at the time were in difficult financial circumstance when having babies-I got hardly anything back but..the children had clothes, toys and equipment ,my siblings were not struggling so much and I had a good feeling about it.People have been kind to our family too since then -maybe it is karma!

notanewuser

DaveTheMus wrote: »

I'm guessing that she is your older sister...from the posts in this thread it just appears that you don't really appreciate the bond and love that siblings have with each other and as someone who has 2 brothers and 1 sister, all younger than me, I can see it perfectly reasonable that if I would lend something to my brother then I would 100% lend it to my sister aswell.....one after the other if need dictated......if they lost it or it was broken I would call them an 'idiot' or something like that and it would end there......I would certainly never have any type of animosity........it's just the way my parents raised me...I get the feeling your husband would probably agree with me but just wants a quiet life.

My sister is 3 years younger than me. We would do anything to help one another, but we don't take the pee out of each other.

DH isn't that close to his brothers, but as the eldest was groomed to feel responsible for them all.

Toto

I totally understand the principle here, I would be irked too. But, ask yourself what are you likely to get out of this? Honestly I doubt you will see your tens machine again or anything else for that matter. I can see you getting a whole load of stress and a bit of a row with DH about how he isn't supporting you etc.


Is all of this stress and irritation worth it? If it were me (and it has been) I would mentally give the items to the in-laws, all of it. I would release myself from all of the annoyance and look for a way to treat myself to a new tens.

Spendless

The only bit I'd be annoyed about is the losing of items. It really wouldn't occur to me as either giver or receiver of a baby item from a sibling that it was only intended for the use of one baby, when the next is on its way when the item has been finished with.

I wouldn't expect my sister to ask me if I was ok with this, because realistically I am not going to answer 'No, I only wanted it used by one other baby'.

I would expect it to be returned after usuage if there wasn't a baby already on it's way or if I was expecting one myself - or had mentioned that I was going to start trying so would like it back.

I only have one sibling so can't comment on the dynamics of family relationships where there's 3+ children, but I suspect it may have been thought that if you were prepared to lend to 2 of your husband's siblings then you would be prepared to do the same for the 3rd one.

*max*

You obviously despise all of them, judging from previous threads, and this one too.

I don't even know why you lent any of them anything in the first place, knowing how you felt about them - unless you like playing the martyr, and showing your husband how bad his family *really* are? Why would you expect anything from people you clearly do not like, except the very behaviour you are trying to show them up on?