Silly Silly Daddies!!!

Lequirk_2

I think your daughter has overacted ever so slightly. It might have been meant in a fun, jokey way, with no offence intended at all. Me and my son had a laugh over a christmas card i made him the other day...we have a longstanding bit of banter going about him being a bit bah-humbug, so i wrote on the card, 'have a happy bah-humbug christmas'.

He laughed about it and so did i. No offence intended, he knows i love him and dont want to intentionally hurt his feelings.

I have to say, i really do hope that you don't refer to your daughters father as a silly, silly daddy, in front of her. I am not being judgemental, it is a merely a caution against doing so as it only fosters malcontent.

Pollycat

balletshoes wrote: »

Its a card - thats all. A piece of printed paper sent because its expected at this time of year.

Exactly!

It would be really helpful if the OP could explain what this 'silly, silly daddy' is like with his daughter for the rest of the year.

Does he have regular access?
Does he usually treat her as a teenager?
etc etc

On the bare bones of information provided it seems like a lot of posters are having difficulty understanding both the child's and adult's problems about this card.

paulineb_2

Own_My_Own wrote: »

I can see why she would be upset.

It would seem that, as usual, most of the posters on here have forgotten what it was like to be 14.

It is a difficult time. They are not children and not adults. They bodies and minds are developing and hormones are setting in.

To a young person of that age it could easily look like their father made no effort and just picked up any old card.

But as I have said, the posters on here obviously all sailed though those years without any heartache and became perfect condersending adults with perfect teenage children.

Sailed through those years without any heartache? I lost my grandpa to cancer just before Christmas when I was 9. I could go on, my family have had more than a few tragic things happen to us over the years, I bet more than a few people on here could say the same.

Yes, on the face of it this was more than a bit thoughtless, but its not wise to suggest that people on here who disagree with the OP on this must have had nil heartache in their lives.

Its a Christmas card. A bit of injured feelings. As I said before, my father hasnt given me a Christmas card in over 40 years, no presents, no birthday presents either. Nil

My brothers dad (my mums son), exactly the same, hes had less than I ever got because his dad decided he wanted nothing to do with him sooner than mine did (I was two when my parents split up).

My dad has a son he does acknowledge, I actually found out that my dad had another child when I read an article in one of the scottish tabloids, my father used to work for one of the large scottish universities. Did I feel a bit sore about it? Yes. Not because I missed out on lots of or even any presents growing up, but its a tough one to take when a parent wont acknowledge you but has other child(ren) that he or she does. Does my dads son even know of my existence? Probably not. But what can you do, you need to get up and get on with it. And my mum is worth a million of both our fathers.

Some people do have parents, one or both who are thoughtless to some degree. But hopefully they have other people in their lives who step up to the plate and treat them with a bit of respect and kindness.

Perspective, as other people have said.

paulineb_2

Oh and a way to deal with it would have been. What age does your dad think you are, hes a bit daft isnt he, give him a ring, text, email and say thanks for the card but did you mix it up with someone elses.

How about we have a takeaway and watch a dvd? How the parent deals with it is important because if they over react, the child/teen will think its the end of the world as they know it, make light of it, forgotten in a day or so.

madvixen

I'd give anything to receive a card from my Dad - even a silly one.

I'm sorry your daughter is upset but this sounds like exactly the sort of thing my Dad would have done to elicit a giggle. The last Christmas stocking I had off my Dad contained Thundercats patches and Chalet School bookmarks. I was 25. He'd looked for things that we used to enjoy together. It still makes me cry that he put that much effort into it.

There are thousands of children out there who would love to receive something as simple as a card. Your daughter needs to get some persective on this. Yes, she's upset but she still has a Dad - millions don't.

barbiedoll

Oh my god! You call your children's father "Silly Daddy", you call your grown-up children "my monsters" and your youngest daughter has a teenage strop over a card and you're worried that you "can't fix it".

I'm not surprised that your ex sent a card suitable for a 5 year old!

GobbledyGook

I think it's harsh to expect a young teenager to not be upset because some people would love a card at all. I'd have loved a father who wasn't a scumbag, but that doesn't mean other people with average father should never complain about them.

Teenagers are stroppy, but she could also be genuinely, and understandably, upset. Did her sister get a carefully picked and thought out card? Does her Dad tend to be thoughtless like that?

Nikkisun

My youngest son was 13 this year, his nan (my ex-mil) sent him a colour in birthday card with the incy wincy spider nursery rhyme on it!! His reaction was to laugh it off he just thought nanny was being a but daft!

paulineb_2

Of course she can get upset, but if mum is acting like its the end of the world, its not going to help her feel better any time soon is it?

GwylimT

How very ungrateful, if she is immature enough to get upset over a card then she needs to get a grip and she needs to grow up.