Just want a 2nd opinion on something..money related.

Fleago

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I can see where he's coming from, I just don't think he's thought it through properly.

FWIW, how would you cope if he didn't die at work? (That's the usual clause of schemes like this - they have to die "in service" so to speak".

HBS x

It doesn't mean that you actually have to die at work to get it, it means that you just have to be employed by that company/local authority/whatever at the time that you die.

paulineb_2

I think to be fair he may have been caught on the hop and asked to nominate someone without having the chance to talk to you about it and as far as Im aware, he can change it.

pukkamum

I honestly think based on what you have said he did this totally without thought.
I think he is guilty of not thinking it through properly, not anything malicious .
Certainly if this is out of character then I would give him the benefit.
Tell him you are annoyed with his lack of discussion with you and maybe ask calmly if there was any other reason he didn't discuss it.
Does he think talking about him dying would have been upsetting for you whilst pregnant.
Are there other policies you have that would clear the mortgage or debts etc so he thought that could be put aside for the kids.

take a deep breath and try and talk calmly.

RAS

InsideInsurance wrote: »

This sounds like a Death In Service benefit, which is often tied to the company pension. The trustees of the pension ultimately decide who the monies go to but it is very rare for them not to go for the nominated person if the form has been completed.

Kaya

DISB will be granted to the children unless someone challenges the nomination. In those cases the trustees of my fund always pay the money into the estate. If you are married that would come to you, if not, then it would go to the children.

Do the pair of you have wills?

InsideInsurance wrote: »

I find it odd when people dont leave their inheritance to their partner but a friend has an unencumbered £400k house, probably £500k in savings and life insurance and it is all left to his son with just the statement that his wife can live in the house until (a) she gets a new partner or (b) his son turns 18 (currently he's 4)

Ultimately its his choice who to nominate and perhaps you should have an adult conversation about what happens, how you will support the family etc if he dies. Perhaps decreasing life insurance on the mortgage would be sensible so at least there'd be a property at the end .

Well I hope that someone explains the law to the wife, assuming this is England or Wales?

The wife can make a claim under the Inheritance act (1988 I think) if the husband has failed to make adequate provision for her.

Kayalana99

I guess the big thing is we are meant to start planning our wedding soon, but in my head I am thinking now whats the point? I always saw getting married as 'whats mine is yours' partnership...sharing everything.

It feels like id be saving every penny to get married...and he would get everything off me, but I wouldn't get anything if the worse was to happen...

I want to kick myself for saying it but as above I might as well be honest.

Don't get me wrong he really is a decent guy...just hasn't got any money sense whatsoever.

paulineb_2

And once you talk to him about it, you can say why you think it would be better if you were the person named, ie to pay the mortgage off if anything ever happened to him and ask that it can be changed, dont make it a bigger issue than it needs to be. Everyone makes mistakes and he probably didnt realise why it would be better if you were named rather than the kids.

thegirlintheattic

It is possible that if you are not married you may not be entitled to Death in Service benefits - some companies only allow certain people to be nominated, others are more open - similar to pensions.

I have the feeling that he probably didn't think, and thought it would be nice to leave it to your children.

You do need to have a discussion about what would happen if the worst should happen, as you do not have much of an income of your own.

On a side note: whos name is the mortgage in? If in his only, are you sure you would be able to take it over if he died?

paulineb_2

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I guess the big thing is we are meant to start planning our wedding soon, but in my head I am thinking now whats the point? I always saw getting married as 'whats mine is yours' partnership...sharing everything.

It feels like id be saving every penny to get married...and he would get everything off me, but I wouldn't get anything if the worse was to happen...

I want to kick myself for saying it but as above I might as well be honest.

I think you are overreacting if you are even thinking of cancelling future wedding plans due to him putting your kids names down.

And also, hopefully nothing will ever happen to him, thats not to say that I think people should be complacent about these things, but for the sake of wanting to make sure your kids would be ok financially you feel like not marrying him?

I do hope you reconsider once youve talked it over.

pukkamum

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I guess the big thing is we are meant to start planning our wedding soon, but in my head I am thinking now whats the point? I always saw getting married as 'whats mine is yours' partnership...sharing everything.

It feels like id be saving every penny to get married...and he would get everything off me, but I wouldn't get anything if the worse was to happen...

I want to kick myself for saying it but as above I might as well be honest.

Don't get me wrong he really is a decent guy...just hasn't got any money sense whatsoever.

Perhaps if he's done this kind of thing before then I woukd maybe have the same reaction but if it's a one off, totally out of carrier, please consider giving him a chance.

PasturesNew

On the plus side, at least he didn't put down his lover's name.