Just want a 2nd opinion on something..money related.

Kynthia

Money_maker wrote: »

Or perhaps are too short sighted to see that accidents and tragedy do happen regardless of age. When taking out a big financial commitment it should be compulsory for there to be some kind of provision for in the event of death. Having a mortgage and no plan B in the event of death is as I said, shocking.

Or perhaps you are the one that can't see different possibilities and scenarios. You say there should be some kind of provision for in the event of death; but provision for who, do they need it, perhaps there already is through other means, etc? When I bought my first place I was single with no dependents. Should I have died my beneficiary could pay the mortgage until the property was sold without a second thought, plus they would have had my savings to do so, plus I had death in service benefit that would have paid off at least half the outstanding mortgage balance. Life insurance would have been a complete waste of money.

OP, I think this issue has really brought home to you your different attitudes to money, the fact that the two of you don't reach an agreement before acting and the realisation that the two of you have not discussed what would happen should one of you die. These all need addressing and aren't minor issues.

Personally buying a property together and having a baby are two life changes that should prompt discussion. Arrange a quiet time with no telly or other plans, perhaps a restaurant, to bring up the topic of what would really happen if one of you died. My hubbie and I are buying a house and having a baby in the next couple of months and I'm already discussing life/critical illness quotes with him to understand tge benefits and what we really want to be left with. To be fair I'm not sure he'd had thought of it, so it's not unusual for one to be more aware of possibilities than the other but that doesn't mean we don't then fully discuss it and come to an agreement.

Mojisola

Kynthia wrote: »

OP, I think this issue has really brought home to you your different attitudes to money, the fact that the two of you don't reach an agreement before acting and the realisation that the two of you have not discussed what would happen should one of you die. These all need addressing and aren't minor issues.

Personally buying a property together and having a baby are two life changes that should prompt discussion. Arrange a quiet time with no telly if other plans, perhaps a restaurant, to bring up the topic of what would really happen if one of you died.

This is the approach I would take so that it's a discussion about what would happen if either of you died young, not just how much money you'd get if he died - "Talking about your death in service money has made me realise we haven't thought about the future - how would you cope if I died; how would I manage if you died?"

Kayalana99

Well good news in all ,

Had a good chat with him last night (FYI Fbaby we are 22/21!) and I basicly said rightly or wrongly that if you were to die and do the spilt 50/25/25 it takes the control of me if I would of needed that money, you know (he knows) that I wouldn't want to leave the kids without a savings pot but if other things had come first then I wouldn't of had a choice because it would of been stuck in a trust. He said that he would change it again to 100% and that he didn't mean anything by it but he's never going to have anything to leave the kids so he just wanted them to have something off him but he can see what I mean. He also said if I had done the same(100% to kids) he would feel like I was trying to screw him over but I guess the big difference is if I did, I would of thought about it and done it on purpose so I can see where he's coming from.

We decided to leave it as it is anyway, and get life insurance instead I may even suggest to put it back up to 100% eventually for the kids* but perhaps when everything calmed down again.

As for the wedding I told him I didn't want to save every penny I had towards it while he didn't even try, so he got a pen and worked out how much he'd have left every month with his new job and offered to put so much towards it.

Theirs more to it but I guess thats the gist of what you guys needed to know but think we *may* finally start working together on the money front lol.

pukkamum

Oh kaylana very pleased to hear the update, it just reiterates how important clear communication is between couples.
Have a lovely Christmas x x

Kynthia

Kayalana that sounds like a very productive and beneficial conversation. It's great when it's two sided, agreements are reached and decisions made.