Just want a 2nd opinion on something..money related.

Spendless

Years ago, when I worked for somewhere with a 'death in service' scheme, one of my workmates discovered she couldn't put her live-in partner down as beneficiary. They would only accept either a blood relative (or adopted family member) or spouse.

This is 20+ years ago though. I think it more likely that he just hasn't thought it through, but ask him if you are able to be the beneficiary and explain to him why you need this.

Dunroamin

Relating this to earlier threads on here really illustrates how much simpler the legalities are when parents are actually married to each other.

DS4215

Why not continue to leave the DISB to the kids, but arrange life insurance to a sufficient level to pay off the mortgage and give you a decent amount to live on for a few years. Before my oldest was born, I took out a 25 year policy covering me for the equivalent of 18 years wages (at that time) and it cost about £25 per month. I'm currently worth a lot more dead than alive, but at least if anything does happen to me before that time I know they will survive financially...

DKLS

Sounds like his priorities are in the wrong order it should be:


1. Wife/partner
2. Fave kid
3. Other kids
4. Pets

Birdie85

I'd be annoyed too. It's likely that, as others said, he was caught on the hop and just did what he assumed would be the right thing without thinking about it too much. Luckily these things can be changed quickly and easily. I'd be expecting the majority of that payment, with only token amounts going to the children as I'd need it to pay the bills once he's gone and £30k won't go that far.

I agree with other posters saying that you should have life insurance if you don't already. Ours doesn't cost a lot (I think it's about £11 a month) and pays off our mortgage on the death of one partner, it makes us feel slightly less 'up a creek without a paddle' should the unthinkable happen. We joke all the time that we're worth more dead than alive as we have DISB, life Insurance and a healthcare policy that pays out a sizeable lump on death too.

Morglin

Dunroamin wrote: »

Relating this to earlier threads on here really illustrates how much simpler the legalities are when parents are actually married to each other.

They most certainly are, as the DWP just do not recognise 'common law' or living together, when it comes to certain benefits.

I am sure, that with marriage sort of changing to incorporate gay marriages, they will, one day, modernise the system, but for state provision, in the event of bereavement, marriage wins hands down.

Lin

Kayalana99

He came home yday and he's changed it to 50/25/25. Still not happy with it all as again he didn't discuss it with me but he now sees everything as being ok as I won't be left without anything & kids get something.:o

Think I will be looking into life insurance, I don't really believe in insurance tbh think its a waste of money usally but for sake of £6-7 it's more for the kids if anything was to happen.

As for whats going to happen with us & getting married I'm still on fence really leaning towards the side of not.

I guess its just hard because I'm always the one who has to be orgnaised, make sure theirs enough money for the bills, one who pays if we go out anywhere as he's always spent up by first week of payday and I just feel like this has been a big kick in the teeth.

It's horrible really that money is such a big thing these days but I think untill(if) he grows up and starts helping me out with the bigger things in life I just can't see it happening anymore.

Morglin

Insurance is worth it's weight in gold if you ever need it!

Perhaps this might also be the time to sit and talk about all your finances etc.,?

Lin

RedBern

agree about the insurance being important - suggest you get some life insurance today to ensure that if anything happens to your partner the mortgage is paid, and if anything happens to you the children will have a tidy lump sum when they're 18.

heartbreak_star

Morglin wrote: »

Insurance is worth it's weight in gold if you ever need it!

Perhaps this might also be the time to sit and talk about all your finances etc.,?

Lin

Agreed, nobody's ever said "I'm glad/I wish I didn't have insurance" in a time of crisis...

I'm also probably going to get flamed for this, but it still is his choice who he leaves it to and I think he's done the right split now. But then again I'm not one of these "you should both put all your money into one pot, because if you don't you're not a PARTNERSHIP" people. I will never have a joint account with OH and we don't know the details of each others' salaries, bonuses, debts or savings. We each deal with our own money and split the bills.

Mind you, we also don't have and won't have children, although we may marry some day. And we'll still have separate bank accounts.

I can see why you're a bit stressed over this money, but there's not a lot you can do about it so let it go. And keep your fingers crossed you never have reason to receive it!

HBS x