Just want a 2nd opinion on something..money related.

Dunroamin

Kayalana99 wrote: »

He came home yday and he's changed it to 50/25/25. Still not happy with it all as again he didn't discuss it with me but he now sees everything as being ok as I won't be left without anything & kids get something.:o

Think I will be looking into life insurance, I don't really believe in insurance tbh think its a waste of money usally but for sake of £6-7 it's more for the kids if anything was to happen.

As for whats going to happen with us & getting married I'm still on fence really leaning towards the side of not.

I guess its just hard because I'm always the one who has to be orgnaised, make sure theirs enough money for the bills, one who pays if we go out anywhere as he's always spent up by first week of payday and I just feel like this has been a big kick in the teeth.

It's horrible really that money is such a big thing these days but I think untill(if) he grows up and starts helping me out with the bigger things in life I just can't see it happening anymore.

And yet you chose to have two children with him.....

FBaby

So what reasons has he given you for his decision? They might be valid they might not.

paulineb_2

Insurance is a waste of money, but his death in service isnt? I'm struggling to understand your reasoning on that one to be honest.

And you can get savings plans with life insurance built in. I have one with Scottish friendly. If anything happened to me my brother would get a lump sum but if I survive it to the end of the term I get the money.

I think you are being quite hard on him to be honest. If he had discussed it with you first and he had said I want to leave it to the kids what would you have done? Or if he had said 50/25/25?

And if you don't want to marry him, then don't, but look at the reasons behind it. We all have different attitudes to cash, it doesn't make him right and you wrong.

You could be living with someone who sits on their backside all day and doesn't want to work. He may not be as money savvy as you, that doesn't make you not a partnership.

Georgiegirl256

I think the way he's done it now is a happy medium. That way, you now get a percentage, but so do your kids. He's safe guarding their future by doing that, ie they then have some money to go to Uni, money towards a deposit for a house, or to with as ever they please of course.

You said to be brutally honest, so here goes....from what you've said in this thread and others, leads me to believe that you don't have the most closest or stable relationship I've ever heard about. So maybe this is his way of making sure that his kids actually get some money to help them on their way when they are 18? So that (and I'm not saying you would do this because obviously out would put the needs of your kids first), you don't spend it before they are that age, or, you could meet another man and that money could just be squandered away by you and him.

What I'm trying to say is, in most relationships, money, insurance, mortgage protection, DIS is usually discussed as a partnership, but in your relationship, there doesn't seem to be a lot of trust either way, and so maybe in his head, this is his way of making sure his children actually DO get some of the money?

But, I also see your point too, that you would need the money there and then for bills etc. A long discussion about his reasoning and to put your point of view across is needed.

clairehi

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I guess its just hard because I'm always the one who has to be orgnaised, make sure theirs enough money for the bills, one who pays if we go out anywhere as he's always spent up by first week of payday and I just feel like this has been a big kick in the teeth.

I think untill(if) he grows up and starts helping me out with the bigger things in life I just can't see it happening anymore.

Yes, I'd see it as a kick in the teeth too. Your partner sounds rather naive. Have you asked him how he thinks you would pay the bills if he did get run over by a bus tomorrow?

Georgiegirl256

Also, I remember a thread you posted ages ago about how he wouldn't shop in places like Lidl or Aldi and just spent money willy nilly, he does sound very immature when it comes to finance matters tbh.

paulineb_2

That was another poster . Not the OP.

Georgiegirl256

paulineb wrote: »

That was another poster . Not the OP.

Was it? Ok, apologies to the OP, I should have checked first, but I was sure it was her.

paulineb_2

There was a long running thread about a partner who refused to shop in Aldi, but it definitely wasn't the op who posted it.

Apart from a recent comment about him being awful with cash I've always got the impression that they are happy.

Also OP dare I say this, you've just had a new baby which is a massive shock to the system. If you have been feeling down lately, you might have taken this issue to heart when it might not have been so bad at another time.

From previous posts I think you and your bf got together and got serious v quickly. 2 kids later, this is the time he needs to sort his attitude to money out. Not this issue, but all of it. Because if you did split, he's going to have to learn to deal with money like an adult. And when he does that, a lot of the issues will be resolved.

Money_maker

Does this really mean that mortgages are sold these days without compulsory life insurance? Staggering.