Deed Poll - to double-barrel or not?!!

danih

I kept my title - have bn Ms since my late teens. I was very happy to relieve myself of my maiden surname, happily took his. So am now Ms husband's surname.

Not big fan of double barrelled names, I feel they can be a bit of a mouthful.

I know one local child who has a 2 syllable first name, and 8 syllable double barrelled surname.

Georgiegirl256

RedfordML wrote: »

After years of discussion over the marriage debate we have reached the point in our lives where we are happy as we are & we have decided that the most important thing is sharing the same name as a family.

Don't you mean you are happy? Is your OH really happy with the situation? Tbh I feel sorry for her.

Savvy_Sue

I had a friend who married into a double-barrelled family, with the first half of the name being quite unusual.

She was desperate to be double-barrelled, her DH less keen and using the second half only as often as he could.

Within a short space of time the wife understood WHY DH was keen to lose the double-barrelled business. Everything took so long: you phone the Chinese takeaway and they ask what name: how much easier to say "Jones" rather than "Montgomery-Jones. That's M O N T G O M E R Y-hyphen-Jones."

Just saying ...

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

So the woman's name can only matter if it's rare or endangered?

I didn't say that at all but it's hardly the end of the world if you're the last in that particular branch of Smith, the family name isn't going to die out if you choose to take your husbands name over yours when you marry, which there's no obligation to do.

Gloomendoom

Old Redford does seem a bit of a cad, doesn't he.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

I didn't say that at all but it's hardly the end of the world if you're the last in that particular branch of Smith, the family name isn't going to die out if you choose to take your husbands name over yours when you marry, which there's no obligation to do.

It's hardly the end of the world if you keep your name and combine the two so that element of both partners' identity is maintained, even if a couple of people disapprove.

Your name is a big part of who you are, that and your body are usually the only things you've owned since the day you were born!

Goldiegirl

At the end of the day, it's a personal choice thing.

I'm the last in the line of my own branch of the family. It's only since I've worked on my family history, that I've appreciated how many people in the past shared my maiden surname.

I've no children, so even if I had 'double-barrelled', the line still ends with me.

I was happy to take my husbands surname. His surname is actually quite similar to my maiden name - the first 4 letters are exactly the same.

Therefore, I still feel like 'me' with a similar name. Anyway, two such similar names would have sounded slightly silly if they had been double barrelled.

In any event, I would only change my name, if it suited me, not to make things neat and tidy for a partner that didn't want to marry me.

ostrichnomore_2

I'd say it's up to her which she prefers, either just your name or double-barrelled.

It would be very weird to use Mrs when you aren't married. It's not against the law or anything, but it is the title for married women. The only reason to use it would be to pretend to everyone you are married. Why do you want to pretend? If she feels she needs to pretend, then she is really NOT happy about the situation. Being 'phoney married' is just strange.

She should use Miss or Ms. I've used Ms since I was about 14, whether I was single or married at the time.

DigForVictory

There are two issues in play here - the naming and the not marrying.

What you call yourselves & your children is somewhat moot - you have a working situation - why mess with it? (And not knowing the chidrens ages, might not they deserve a say in the matter too?)

Then you have the I don't do marriage bit - which ruffles a lot of MSE feathers not because we're old fashioned (OK, I am & the rest can put their hands up as they please) but because it's an inherently unsafe situation for your children should you go under a bus. What you choose to call your children will mean nothing when social services put your unmarried lady through hoops to assure the paperwork she is the right & proper person to care for her & your children.

The names you will be called at that stage may or may not be double barrelled, but as it is avoidable, please take steps to avoid it!? Marriage isn't anywhere near as bad as that mess.

pollypenny

I had a lovely Welsh surname and there are only girls in my generation. All our children have it as a middle name.