Childfree by Choice?

Kynthia

How bigoted and closed minded are some people? Having a child is great for some and not what some others want. I've no problem with those that don't want children and fully understand why they might make that choice. I wish those that do have children would put as much thought into that decision as many don't.

I'm currently pregnant but really gave real thought to whether we wanted to do this, what would being child free be like, what would being parents be like, the impact on our careers, income, lifestyle, couple time, etc. I think I could have been child free but chose not to. My best friend has decided to be child free and she is a lovely and unselfish and good with children and I hope I don't become one of those who thinks all children are 'magical', let's them rule the roost, and doesn't keep up with their friends.

I think being child free is becoming more common, so do people find the worst reactions are from the over 40's or 50's, or recent parents or is it still a mixture of people?

an9i77

I have children, and am glad I have had them but it is a lot more work than I thought it would be! Personally I wouldn't have it any other way but I fully respect those who say they prefer the child free life. Each to their own. Although I love my kids dearly I do sometimes hark back to 'the time before' when my time was my own, and would love to go back in time to just have a weekend to myself, or me and my partner without the constant interruptions and demands of small children. Although at the time of course, I couldn't appreciate it as I didn't know any different.

Tropez

Carl31 wrote: »

Why is it, that quite a few people that choose not to have kids feel the need to advertise the fact? As pointed out , there's loads of threads on this subject, usually followed by loads of self justifying posters posting the many reasons why they don't want to

Nobody posts about why they felt the need to have kids, or remind everyone why the chose to have kids

Sharing thoughts and opinions is not self-justification. I don't have to justify myself because there's nothing wrong or unreasonable in the decision that I have made.

There have been a number of posts from people who have wished to express why they have children, why they have a certain number of children or why they want more children as well as countless threads over time about how the things people's children have done have improved their lives.

What you appear to be viewing as "advertising" I view as a discussion on an open forum. I'm certainly not out to persuade anybody or encourage them to not have children. It should be a personal decision.

seven-day-weekend

My son and his partner have said they do not want children. He is almost 34 and she is 26.

I have friends who are CFBC, they are in their late forties and have been married for 25 years.

I know another young woman in her late thirties who has been a Nanny for fifteen years who also does not want any children of her own. She has been married about ten years.

We were CFBC for nearly ten years until I was 30 and my husband was 31, then we changed our minds, but only ever had one child .

Children DO cramp your style, don't believe anyone who says they don't (unless their style is doing kiddie-related things all day long). I think if you don't want children then that is fine, it is your choice and nothing to do with anyone else.

Misty_Blue

Kayalana99 wrote: »

If you don't want a child that's fine... But you post a list of things people with children can't say ... And then people without kids are posting and saying people are only having kids for peer pressure? To fill a gap? (What cause were bored or because it's instinct?)And everything else people are moaning about people with kids!

You can't have it both ways.

But OP and other posters aren't making those comments on a thread about pregnancy, parenting or whatever.

I am absolutely CFBC and have always know this would be the case. I can't stand children.

I had to have some surgery at the age of 34, and requested to be sterilised while the surgeon was "in there." One of the best decisions I ever made.

DKLS

As per the book title am Child free and Loving it, If myself and my wife had a child it would ruin our life, so we made sure that would never happen with a visit to Marie Stopes, that's the best £400 I have ever spent and looking back should have had the snip done at 18 as it would have saved some scary moments waiting for Boots to open.

Goldiegirl

Carl31 wrote: »

Why is it, that quite a few people that choose not to have kids feel the need to advertise the fact? As pointed out , there's loads of threads on this subject, usually followed by loads of self justifying posters posting the many reasons why they don't want to

Nobody posts about why they felt the need to have kids, or remind everyone why the chose to have kids

On the other hand you could ask why there are seemingly endless threads about every stage of pre-conception, conception, pregnancy, birth and each stage of the baby's life.

If people aren't posting about WHY needed to have kids, that's probably because they are so busy discussing every other tiny detail of their kids lives.

Incidentally, I never read those threads, because I just ain't interested. If anyone isn't interested in the lives of people who have chosen not to have kids, then don't read the very few threads on the subject!

Gavin83

Gillyx wrote: »

Not to say that anyone regrets having children but they do change your life in so many ways.

I actually think a lot of people regret having children, it's just such a social taboo to say so that they keep it to themselves.

I have no interest in having children and have actually just booked an appointment to discuss a vasectomy with my doctor. Being 28 though I doubt he'll be too accomodating, but we'll see...

seven-day-weekend

We love our son and he was planned and wanted (after ten CFBC years)...

...but it would not have diminished our lives if we'd not had any children.

And it will not diminish our life if we never have any grandchildren.

There, I have said it.

Gavin83

My parents will actually be the biggest issue for my not having children. They've made it very clear they want nothing more than to be grandparents and as an only child I guess that responsibility falls to me. Although I have told them in the past (although not for a few years) that I don't want children they basically brushed it off, with the usual "you'll change your mind" response.

I've a feeling that once the issue really raises it's head, once I'm married (not far off) and into my 30's it'll lead to a big argument but we'll see.