Childfree by Choice?

Pollycat

Calfuray wrote: »

Thank you for that information, that's really useful. I didn't realise it was that price, I thought it'd be horrifically expensive!

Thanks

Hi
I've sent you a pm.

Tiddlywinks

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Childfree plus pet ownership DOES NOT equal child substitute...thats exactly what I said...and WE are all individuals hence my POINT that SOME people cross the line because they are child free.

What?

No - some people cross the line because they are individuals... regardless of their parental status.

Your point has nothing to do with being childfree.

shoppaholic_returns

Absolutely, who is anyone to make a judgement as to what is right and wrong, when it comes to loving someone/ something?

As long as you don't impose your ideals on others, surely it is a choice and we are free to love man or beast as much as we want to.

Person_one

shoppaholic_returns wrote: »

Absolutely, who is anyone to make a judgement as to what is right and wrong, when it comes to loving someone/ something?

As long as you don't impose your ideals on others, surely it is a choice and we are free to love man or beast as much as we want to.

Well, sort of! There are some laws about that I believe...;)

shoppaholic_returns

Very well, but I wasn't talking about that kind of love!!!

I left myself well open for that one though x

lori64

Just the other day, mum told me she was desperate for me to have a baby when I was around 27yrs old. Now, at that age, I was working part-time, no partner, no savings, no desire for a baby, yet that's what she wanted for me???

And they call us CFBC selfish, eh?:rotfl:

I did point this out to her, she admitted that it was all about her wanting to be a granny. It makes me sad that despite telling people from an early age I did NOT WANT kids, and never would, they just didn't listen.

I'm now 49yrs old, have never changed my mind. Thank god my brother gave her a grandchild, though she rarely see's her and she doesn't have a great bond with her.

stardoman

Person_one wrote: »

I sometimes think we should start grilling them a bit in return, turn the old trite questions on their head!

Why did you have children?
Why only one, two, three etc?
What if you regret having them later?
Are you sure you picked the right partner? What if you weren't picky enough?

You needn't worry, those with children get grilled too, just for different things. Are you going to breastfeed - you're not, why not? Which hospital are you going to - you're having a homebirth, don't you know that's dangerous? And as for co-sleeping....

You're body also becomes public property when you are pregnant, with complete strangers coming up to you and putting their hands on your stomach - how rude!

LibbyR26

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Now that's a good idea!

Then people might start to realise how rude and intrusive their questions are!

I've moved beyond the stage of people grilling me about when I'm going to have children etc. but my own person's bugbear is, when, in social situations, I've got to talk to new people. Most of them start going on about their children (or their grand children, who are always super talented and wonderful)' then I'm asked if I have children. Of course, I answer in the negative, then they look shifty and nervous, in case they've uncovered a long held disappointment and hurt.

If they can't cope with all the possible replies, why ask the question?

My real annoyance is, that I always explain that it was a personal choice etc. why should I have to justify myself, to make people feel more comfortable.

I can relate to that. I tell the truth and simply say that I cannot be bothered with kids. My poor mother is now having to endure the whole grandkids conversation (usually with patronising expressions of pity.) I have told her to be honest and just repeat what I tell people, but she doesn't have the nerve to. I think she is worried that, in this child centred society, people will equate me with the wicked witch in Handsel and Gretel or worse.

Indie_Kid

I once got a lecture because at the grand old age of 20, I hadn't even had a relationship, which apparently meant I was very unlikely to have children.

I don't want children. I don't want to inflict my dodgy genes on them and I just wouldn't have the time or energy to give a child what it needs.

I have friends in their 40s who don't have children who are happy. Again, they don't have time to give a child the care and love they need. They'd rather adopt a dog or two and focus on dong whatever they want in life.

red_devil

sh1305 wrote: »

I once got a lecture because at the grand old age of 20, I hadn't even had a relationship, which apparently meant I was very unlikely to have children.

I don't want children. I don't want to inflict my dodgy genes on them and I just wouldn't have the time or energy to give a child what it needs.

I have friends in their 40s who don't have children who are happy. Again, they don't have time to give a child the care and love they need. They'd rather adopt a dog or two and focus on dong whatever they want in life.

I thought of this thread when i saw a woman on a forum saying her one child was upset cos he didnt het what he wanted for christmas. Oh dear.