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Childfree by Choice?
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Kayalana99 wrote: »Because people do. Not saying that everyone who is child free and gives their pet a christmas present is 'substituting' but it is their.
A friend of mine has 3 dogs, they are her babies. She takes them everywhere, throws them birthday partys, posts pictures of them weekly about their activities together and what shes brought them and what they've done...
She is not child free by choice, it just never happened for her.
A few points as this post kind of epitomises those comments about child substitutes.
Firstly, your friend is an individual so she is only doing what she wants to do to make herself feel good.
Sadly for her, she is childfree and would not necessarily have made that choice of lifestyle herself so her 'motivations' are not necessarily that relevant to CFBC pet ownership.
Some parents will treat their pets in the same way as your friend - so, is that evidence that all parents with pets are just substituting their need for a bigger family?
We are all individuals and I just get fed up with the need for some to make sense of other people's life choices by using their own assumptions and values and then jumping to conclusions.
Childfree plus pet ownership does not equal child substitute.:hello:0 -
Tiddlywinks wrote: »Some parents will treat their pets in the same way as your friend - so, is that evidence that all parents with pets are just substituting their need for a bigger family?
We are all individuals and I just get fed up with the need for some to make sense of other people's life choices by using their own assumptions and values and then jumping to conclusions.
Childfree plus pet ownership does not equal child substitute.
Theirs a balance between loving a pet and treating them as a human - my friend crosses that line.
Childfree plus pet ownership DOES NOT equal child substitute...thats exactly what I said...and WE are all individuals hence my POINT that SOME people cross the line because they are child free.People don't know what they want until you show them.0 -
Kayalana99 wrote: »Theirs a balance between loving a pet and treating them as a human - my friend crosses that line.
Its actually impossible to treat an animal as a human, they are completely different, it just wouldn't work.
I'm starting to think its just a put down.
There's nothing wrong with loving your pets, considering how cruelly and callously so many pets in this country are treated then the more love and care and attention the better, frankly.0 -
Tiddlywinks wrote: »Hmm... a Childfree By Choice thread talking about pets being child substitutes - no surprise there.
Why do people assume that pets will be treated like children because the owner is childfree?
People are people and nurture loved ones in different ways.
I have two cats and I love them unreservedly and care for them now in their old age... they're not child substitutes, they are animals that I love... they have names, favourite foods, habits, likes and dislikes. Because I know them and take care of them I can tell when they are feeling poorly, fed up etc... you just get to know those you live with.
But I take exception to people suggesting they are child substitutes as I find that really insulting. I come from a family of animal lovers and we have always had cats... but those that suggest they are child substitutes will be using their own yardstick in suggesting that and it says more about their values than mine.
Why is it so hard for some to understand that you can love animals, understand animals and feel an affinity with them without seeing them as baby substitutes?
I do understand that that is the case for most pet owners. I am a pet owner myself. It's just that I have seen, via my pet-sitting work, some animals that ARE, imho, child substitutes. I don't want to go into detail here in case the clients happen to be members of MSE and read this thread, and recognise themselves, but believe me it does happen, even though it is in the minority of cases.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
Kayalana99 wrote: »Because people do. Not saying that everyone who is child free and gives their pet a christmas present is 'substituting' but it is their.
A friend of mine has 3 dogs, they are her babies. She takes them everywhere, throws them birthday partys, posts pictures of them weekly about their activities together and what shes brought them and what they've done...
She is not child free by choice, it just never happened for her.
This is an example of the sort of thing I mean. I have even seen someone (not one of my clients) who posts a weekly internet blog about their dog's social life. If the dogs were children the adults would be called pushy parents. They really ought to realise (as they would have to if it was their children they were posting about) that no-one else is in the slightest bit interested.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
seven-day-weekend wrote: »This is an example of the sort of thing I mean. I have even seen someone (not one of my clients) who posts a weekly internet blog about their dog's social life. If the dogs were children the adults would be called pushy parents. They really ought to realise (as they would have to if it was their children they were posting about) that no-one else is in the slightest bit interested.
Why do you think that?
Are you aware of incredibly popular websites such as Dog Shaming and Texts From Dog?0 -
I was thinking to myself yesterday whether I do treat my dog as a child substitute (not that it matter if I do) and I realised that all the things I do i.e. Christmas presents, birthday presents, taking him out for days etc almost all the dog owners I know also do. Lots of them have children - maybe we are all just mad dog owners!The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie0
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Person_one wrote: »Why do you think that?
Are you aware of incredibly popular websites such as Dog Shaming and Texts From Dog?
No.
.
(But I've just looked at them and they are not my cup of tea at all, I think they are a bit puerile, sorry
I repeat this is just MHO.) (AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
I was thinking to myself yesterday whether I do treat my dog as a child substitute (not that it matter if I do) and I realised that all the things I do i.e. Christmas presents, birthday presents, taking him out for days etc almost all the dog owners I know also do. Lots of them have children - maybe we are all just mad dog owners!
To me theirs nothing their that says you are taking it to far, if(when?
) I had a dog I would probably also get birthday gifts and Christmas gifts and take them for days out as end day they are part of the family, but what I wouldn't do is throw each of them a birthday party with all my friends/family invited with a list of presents they might like. 
People don't know what they want until you show them.0 -
seven-day-weekend wrote: »No. .
(But I've just looked at them and they are not my cup of tea at all, I think they are a bit puerile, sorry I repeat this is just MHO.)
What a shock! :rotfl:0
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