Jealous, upset and no idea what to do

HPoirot

lostinrates wrote: »

Well, same message to you, my dear thing. I remember you talking about the source of stress and options and have thought of it since...my poor DH has dropped weight again suddenly.... Pressure of work. :mad: his 'vice' is the gym for stress and a propensity to not eat mid week.

I do not have the motivation at the moment, other than smoking a packful a day lol. At the moment I am just trying to weigh my options and consider if I should try to venture out there again. Oh and I have enrolled on the conversion .

lostinrates

HPoirot wrote: »

I do not have the motivation at the moment, other than smoking a packful a day lol. At the moment I am just trying to weigh my options and consider if I should try to venture out there again. Oh and I have enrolled on the conversion .

I'm guessing you have loads and loads of contacts but if you want to meet up with DH to ask anything let me know, I'm sure something could be arranged.

justanopinion

Person_one wrote: »

Bottom line is, if you are dependent on alcohol and your drinking is affecting your life, you need to deal with that. First, only, everything else comes later.

You are ill, you have an illness that means that even if you and your partner both wanted kids tomorrow and were fertile it would be irresponsible and dangerous for you to proceed.

How much are you drinking and how often, if you're completely honest with yourself?

I daren't post how much. It makes me sick.

Yes, every day. I have spoken to Doctors and AA. The reason I drink is because I hate my situation and life so much, and I have become trapped. I am not physically dependent. Mentally, yes.

Prior to alcohol I had an eating disorder. I replaced one with the other.

When I don't drink I get so very angry at my entire situation and life I have to get rid of those feelings.

I am not a stupid person, I had a good career and money (never thought I would do that, but hey!) and yet I am so upset and angry.

I'm sorry all. x

HPoirot

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm guessing you have loads and loads of contacts but if you want to meet up with DH to ask anything let me know, I'm sure something could be arranged.

Thank you so much LIR, I will definitely get back to you on this. When I have shaken myself up .

justanopinion

I cannot believe people are even replying to me.

Thank you so much.

Person_one

justanopinion wrote: »

I daren't post how much. It makes me sick.

Yes, every day. I have spoken to Doctors and AA. The reason I drink is because I hate my situation and life so much, and I have become trapped. I am not physically dependent. Mentally, yes.

Prior to alcohol I had an eating disorder. I replaced one with the other.

When I don't drink I get so very angry at my entire situation and life I have to get rid of those feelings.

I am not a stupid person, I had a good career and money (never thought I would do that, but hey!) and yet I am so upset and angry.

I'm sorry all. x

Are you sure you aren't physically dependent?

Have a look at this, you don't have to post how much you're drinking, but I'm sure you realise you are damaging your health and even putting your life at risk?

thorsoak

You should be aware of foetal alcohol syndrome - see http://www.fasaware.co.uk/ . Until you get your consumption of alcohol under control, it is extremely unwise of you to think about getting pregnant.

But it could be the "reward" that might help you stop. However, it may be that you and your partner need to sit down and think very carefully about your relationship.

Good luck.

When_the_going_gets_tough

Op I am sorry life is so hard for you. What stands out for me is that you have a problem over fertility and you have another problem (or two ) over eating and drinking. The fertility/relationship problem I agree will not go away if you stop over eating/drinking but then you will have one problem instead of two/three. Simplistic I know but I hear your pain but the drink/food is extremely ineffective in blocking it out. You feel that facing your fears is impossible but I promise you that sober and in control we can all face even the worst things and find a way through. That doesn't mean life will be rosy - it is rarely so even for the lucky people, but we find the resources to live with some dignity and self worth. You are worth more than all this pain. I would say go and get some individual counselling to support you whilst you give up drinking and the addressing of your very real dilemma over your relationship. The very best wishes for your future.

justanopinion

Thanks posters - I am bad at multiquoting, so here goes. Guess this gets me posting more, so yay...

Ok, I have been told I should not stop drinking as it could do me harm to do so. The support agency will allow me to do a medical detox, but I have to wait until post-xmas. When I was admitted to the clinic, (back in April), I was fine stopping drinking. The moment I did that, the eating issues reared their head so quickly it was frightening. But I was in a place where that was managed.

I cannot afford to go privately again. The alcohol now is more prevalent than back in April.

I would not try and get pregnant in my present situation - There is no way I would wish to see anyone else harmed. I have only ever been with my OH, to get pregnant I would need to cheat. The very thought breaks my heart. I could not hurt a baby to satisfy my own needs.
x

Georgiegirl256

Probably like a lot of people, I'd never heard of the syndrome your BF has, so I googled it and came across this http://www.theafa.org/blog/fertility-alert-new-hope-for-fatherhood-in-men-with-klinefelter-syndrome/ Now obviously you and your BF know best about his diagnosis, but has he been told for definite that there is nothing that can be done to help? Or has he not fully explored the options, is he taking it as a given?

Or, is it like others have said, he truely doesn't want children? If so, then you have to think long and hard about your future, starting with getting yourself some help regarding your drinking, then you can move forwards, but you need to sort that out before anything else.