'Don't have kids unless you are ready to marry' says judge

supersaver2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes I agree, this is exactly what I would like to be able to do.

You can to a certain degree, have a wedding, just the 2 of you and 2 staff from the registry office would also need to witness the legal contract happening, same as if you were signing your will I suppose. No wedding dress, wedding cakes, bridesmaids etc needed, nobody even has to know! This is what me and my wife did, all sorted for approx £400.00 with no fuss or big celebrations.

mumps

I wasn't worried about a wedding, a big do and an even bigger dress never appealed to me. Back in the dark ages when I was a girl people were far more disapproving and as I was a 17 year old bride I agreed to get married as it mattered to my mum. We had ten people at the wedding and lunch afterwards. Can't remember what it cost but it wasn't much. Nowadays I wouldn't bother but maybe this is due to my family not being much good at marriage, well if you look at the record. I definitely think kids need two parents, I don't think they have to live in the same house though.

Just remembering the speculation, I was a very skinny teenager and people watched me like a hawk for months as they were convinced I must have been pregnant. It was funny and I made sure I wore skinny jeans and very fitted clothes for a while and then bought some of the tent dresses that were popular at the time. Much smirking and nodding of heads. Then I did get pregnant and as time went on people got a bit puzzled about my pregnancy which lasted more than twelve months. No I am not an elephant.

dizsiebubba

catkins wrote: »

A wedding costs as much or as little as you want it to.

I don't see how it can possibly cost almost £1,000 for the legal bit!

It makes me laugh when people say they can't afford to get married. Me and OH got married after knowing each other for 5 months. We were madly in love, wanted to be together and did not want to live together first. We had practically no money at all yet we managed to get married and have a reception (and we paid for ALL the drink). Yes it was a number of years ago but it can still be done

Look on Kent County Councils website and read the thread about them on the Marriage board and then you will see the £1,000 breakdown...

dizsiebubba

claire16c wrote: »

Out of interest what did you pay when you changed your name?

I didn't pay anything? Neither did my DH - we double barelled.

Not that you need to change your name anyway.

I haven't worked out all the costings for those yet as doing them as and when so some might not cost but I guess (from what I have heard friends moan about) there is an admin charge to change your name on:
* Passport
* Driving Licence
* Car/Home Insurance
* Log Books
* Various other policies; life insurance, pension etc

Then I also have professional things to change my name on and they have admin charges - only £30-£50 each but they add up.

I have never understood not changing your name to be part of the family. If the point of being married is to build a stable life for your family then surely all having the same name gives your children the stability? Each to their own but thats the most important bit to me.

dizsiebubba

lazer wrote: »

Many people let their passport run in their maiden until expiry and then change it too, so again no fee.

If this is legal (can you give a link?) I will do that then as mine expires 18 months after my wedding date & we aren't having a honeymoon so I don't need it for anything planned - just maybe an unplanned trip into france or spain to see relatives

daisiegg

dizsiebubba wrote: »

If this is legal (can you give a link?) I will do that then as mine expires 18 months after my wedding date & we aren't having a honeymoon so I don't need it for anything planned - just maybe an unplanned trip into france or spain to see relatives

Of course it is legal - why wouldn't it be? Just make sure if you are planning to travel using a passport in your maiden name, book the tickets in your maiden name too.

lostinrates

dizsiebubba wrote: »

If this is legal (can you give a link?) I will do that then as mine expires 18 months after my wedding date & we aren't having a honeymoon so I don't need it for anything planned - just maybe an unplanned trip into france or spain to see relatives

Mine only expired about 8 years after marriage. It was fine.

( I still have my maiden name bank account too, not sure what else...)

Mojisola

dizsiebubba wrote: »

I have never understood not changing your name to be part of the family. If the point of being married is to build a stable life for your family then surely all having the same name gives your children the stability? Each to their own but thats the most important bit to me.

There are places where it isn't traditional for a woman to change her name on marriage. I don't think those countries have less stable families.

catkins

dizsiebubba wrote: »

Look on Kent County Councils website and read the thread about them on the Marriage board and then you will see the £1,000 breakdown...

I couldn't be bothered to listen to that video but I have looked at Greenwich Council's fees and Essex Council's fees and they are:

Entering a notice of marriage £35
Fee for Registrar £90 an hour (registry office weddings do not last more than an hour)
Marriage at Registry office including certificate £49

Nowhere near £1,000.

I am not talking about getting married in a pricey venue but a registry office. As I said, a wedding can be as cheap as you want it to be

bylromarha

unicorn1984 wrote: »

I would much rather my child grow up with his Mum and Dad apart, but happy than together and miserable, or cheating. If I had continued with my marriage the way it was going, I had already started to resent my husband, and didn't want to end up hating him and thats what would have happened. Not a good environment for a child to grow up in.

I recognise this is personal to you, and I really don't mean to cause offence, but it upsets me that this whole " kids prefer mum and dad apart but happy" is taken as okay. This is so limited and doesn't state the child's real preference.

Kids prefer mum and dad to work and work and work at remaining happy in their relationship with each other.