'Don't have kids unless you are ready to marry' says judge

Tiddlywinks

At last, someone has the courage to say it:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/10504840/Dont-have-children-unless-you-are-ready-to-marry-says-judge.html

I agree.

paddedjohn

Buy that man a pint.

Torry_Quine

Good for him for saying what many think but are too scared to say.

neverdespairgirl

Except the article contradicts the headline:

He made clear he was not saying people should not have children unless they were prepared to marry.

He said: “I don’t think they should have children until they are sure that their relationship is stable enough to cope with the stresses and strains.”

Soleil_lune

From the article............

The 2011 Census found that the number of married people in England and Wales had fallen from just over half the population a decade ago to 45 per cent. This is the first time since the first census in 1801 that married couples have been in the minority.

One of most depressing statistics I have read in a LONG time

For what it's worth: I agree with the judge 100%

*max*

Even if I was ready to, I would not/will not get married until same-sex marriage becomes legal in Northern Ireland. Matter of principle.

MrsDrink

Article confused me. (Not hard - I have woken up to fluey head).

If he saying couples should only have children if their relationships are stable enough to consider getting married, but they don't have to? (In which case I agree, children should never be seen as a final attempt to salvage an already doomed relationship).

Or is the saying couples should only have children if they are considering getting married, and are going to? (In which case I disagree, as long as the relationship is stable I don't see the need to be married or not).

fluffnutter

For crying out loud. Half of children are born to unmarried parents. It's not whether you're married or not, it's the stability of your relationship and your overall support network. The main hardship for children is poverty, and to a certain extent the age of the parents. Put simply the older you are when you have children the more likely you are to be solvent and the more stable your relationship will be as a result. Obviously there are many exceptions of people parenting wonderfully despite being very young and/or having dire financial problems but that's the general trend.

Moaning about people being married is stuffy, reactionary nonsense and totally unhelpful in today's society.

catkins

fluffnutter wrote: »

For crying out loud. Half of children are born to unmarried parents. It's not whether you're married or not, it's the stability of your relationship and your overall support network. The main hardship for children is poverty, and to a certain extent the age of the parents. Put simply the older you are when you have children the more likely you are to be solvent and the more stable your relationship will be as a result. Obviously there are many exceptions of people parenting wonderfully despite being very young and/or having dire financial problems but that's the general trend.

Moaning about people being married is stuffy, reactionary nonsense and totally unhelpful in today's society.

Figures show that couples that live together are much more likely to split up than married couples. You may not like that but facts show it to be true

fluffnutter

catkins wrote: »

Figures show that couples that live together are much more likely to split up than married couples. You may not like that but facts show it to be true

I don't 'like' or 'dislike' it. Nor do I dispute it but you need to understand the difference between causal links and correlations. People who marry tend to be older and more solvent - that's why their relationships are more stable. If you are unmarried you are more likely to be younger and poorer. Both of these are a barrier to relationship longevity.

People split up because they're young and skint, not because they're not married.

lika_86

catkins wrote: »

Figures show that couples that live together are much more likely to split up than married couples. You may not like that but facts show it to be true

But do those statistics relate to unmarried couples with children or just unmarked couples who live together? Many couples will live together in full knowledge that they aren't ready for marriage or children, should a couple who have moved in together to see how things go but then split up really be compared to a couple who are married (or unmarried) with children who split up?