We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

'Don't have kids unless you are ready to marry' says judge

Options
«13456730

Comments

  • paddedjohn
    paddedjohn Posts: 7,512 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    Buy that man a pint.
    Be Alert..........Britain needs lerts.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,872 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Good for him for saying what many think but are too scared to say.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Except the article contradicts the headline:

    He made clear he was not saying people should not have children unless they were prepared to marry.

    He said: “I don’t think they should have children until they are sure that their relationship is stable enough to cope with the stresses and strains.”
    ...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.
  • Soleil_lune
    Soleil_lune Posts: 1,247 Forumite
    From the article............

    The 2011 Census found that the number of married people in England and Wales had fallen from just over half the population a decade ago to 45 per cent. This is the first time since the first census in 1801 that married couples have been in the minority.

    One of most depressing statistics I have read in a LONG time :(

    For what it's worth: I agree with the judge 100%
  • *max*
    *max* Posts: 3,208 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Even if I was ready to, I would not/will not get married until same-sex marriage becomes legal in Northern Ireland. Matter of principle.
  • MrsDrink
    MrsDrink Posts: 4,538 Forumite
    Article confused me. (Not hard - I have woken up to fluey head).

    If he saying couples should only have children if their relationships are stable enough to consider getting married, but they don't have to? (In which case I agree, children should never be seen as a final attempt to salvage an already doomed relationship).

    Or is the saying couples should only have children if they are considering getting married, and are going to? (In which case I disagree, as long as the relationship is stable I don't see the need to be married or not).
  • fluffnutter
    fluffnutter Posts: 23,179 Forumite
    For crying out loud. Half of children are born to unmarried parents. It's not whether you're married or not, it's the stability of your relationship and your overall support network. The main hardship for children is poverty, and to a certain extent the age of the parents. Put simply the older you are when you have children the more likely you are to be solvent and the more stable your relationship will be as a result. Obviously there are many exceptions of people parenting wonderfully despite being very young and/or having dire financial problems but that's the general trend.

    Moaning about people being married is stuffy, reactionary nonsense and totally unhelpful in today's society.
    "Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.
  • catkins
    catkins Posts: 5,703 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    For crying out loud. Half of children are born to unmarried parents. It's not whether you're married or not, it's the stability of your relationship and your overall support network. The main hardship for children is poverty, and to a certain extent the age of the parents. Put simply the older you are when you have children the more likely you are to be solvent and the more stable your relationship will be as a result. Obviously there are many exceptions of people parenting wonderfully despite being very young and/or having dire financial problems but that's the general trend.

    Moaning about people being married is stuffy, reactionary nonsense and totally unhelpful in today's society.

    Figures show that couples that live together are much more likely to split up than married couples. You may not like that but facts show it to be true
    The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie
  • fluffnutter
    fluffnutter Posts: 23,179 Forumite
    catkins wrote: »
    Figures show that couples that live together are much more likely to split up than married couples. You may not like that but facts show it to be true

    I don't 'like' or 'dislike' it. Nor do I dispute it but you need to understand the difference between causal links and correlations. People who marry tend to be older and more solvent - that's why their relationships are more stable. If you are unmarried you are more likely to be younger and poorer. Both of these are a barrier to relationship longevity.

    People split up because they're young and skint, not because they're not married.
    "Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.
  • lika_86
    lika_86 Posts: 1,786 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 9 December 2013 at 9:38AM
    catkins wrote: »
    Figures show that couples that live together are much more likely to split up than married couples. You may not like that but facts show it to be true

    But do those statistics relate to unmarried couples with children or just unmarked couples who live together? Many couples will live together in full knowledge that they aren't ready for marriage or children, should a couple who have moved in together to see how things go but then split up really be compared to a couple who are married (or unmarried) with children who split up?
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 350.8K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.5K Spending & Discounts
  • 243.8K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.8K Life & Family
  • 257K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.