Girlfriend's close male friend...

paddy's_mum

I'm 63. My husband is 76. His son was 38 when we married but had had 20 years of being mummied when we married in 2004.

For sure I expect that any 'child' shall take priority over the marriage.

Blows kiss and goes to bed upon a giggle :T

Honestly? Jojo - you're great ... well, most of the time. love ya :rotfl:

Person_one

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Personally, I'd be ashamed of him if he didn't prioritise his own children over me.

I wouldn't think much of a partner who didn't understand the value and importance of true and long lasting friendships, either.

emmaj30

Hi
I have read your post and all the replies that have been posted and this is what I think :
Obviously your girlfriend and this man are good friends as she is willing to do things for him like drive out of her way 100 miles and after five years they have developed a close friendship.
What you need to do is become friends with him and suggest that you guys can hang out together sometimes. Not to spy but if you and your girlfriend are a couple who plan to spend your future together this man will always be in your future and its in both of your interests to gain an understanding of what the situation is. If your girlfriend has a problem with this then she has something to hide but if you and this male are her two favourite people then sociailising sometimes would not be a bad idea. I remember when i first met this girl that my hubby was friends with we watched football and she was touching his leg as if to say ive been friends with him for ages so I can do this. It wasn;'t the fact that she was touching his leg just the lack of respect she had that he had a new girlfriend.. We got married two months later and been together for 13 years!! Its about respect and if shes serious about this relationship in this case threes not a crowd. Take care of yourself and hope everything works out

Orlando_Virgin

I tell you what I can't believe the people who've come on here and called the OP completely unreasonable?! Why? Because he is unsure and a little bit insecure about this male friend? He's just being open and honest.

And I'd LOVE to see people react any differently would they be in the same situation. It is one thing to have friends to spend time with and help with advice, get a different perspective etc., but it's another for them to feel like they are the go to person when the chips are down. It's awful when you don't feel like that person.

paulineb_2

A little insecure. For 5 years???? Come on. Is all supposed to be well the minute this man disappears off the scene?

I'd be asking myself why my gf doesn't want to confide in me.

If you have an issue with jealousy, you do something about it. The pair if them by the sounds of it.

Acc72

Ok, firstly I admit that I have not read the replies as I can only imagine what they will be ....

Here are my thoughts :

Your girlfriend may see this friendship as purely platonic, but I can give you a cast iron 100% gold plated guarantee that assuming that the male friend is straight, he wants to sleep with her.

paulineb_2

Odd that he's not made any move on her in 5 years then?

System

I can see the op's pov, but if he trusts his gf I see no reason for it to be an issue.

One of my best friends is a guy, I've known him nearly 10 years. There have been one or two times I have gone to him instead of my bf but I've had good reason to. I have mental health issues and I cannot talk to my bf about them (probably a thread of its own but long story short my mh is never talked about with bf, he accepts I have them but we have an agreement that if I ever get really ill he can't deal with it as he's been there with exes and simply can't deal with it) whereas my best friend has known me even at my illest and is happy to talk some sense into me when needed. I made sure bf and friend met early on as it's pretty evident when we're together we are just friends, however my situation is a little more complicated as we did date for 3 years :eek: but I honestly see him as more of a brotherly figure now. Plus he recently got a gf which I'm ecstatic about as she's lively and they are very happy together, and I think bf definetly doesn't see him as any threat now.

He also has close female friends who he knew years before me, I trust him 100%, plus as with the op, he's shown me conversations so I don't feel I have anything to worry about.

supersaver2

paulineb wrote: »

Odd that he's not made any move on her in 5 years then?

Maybe he has, or vice versa, who knows, can't imagine it's something you'd shout about to your OH.

Person_one

Acc72 wrote: »

Ok, firstly I admit that I have not read the replies as I can only imagine what they will be ....

Here are my thoughts :

Your girlfriend may see this friendship as purely platonic, but I can give you a cast iron 100% gold plated guarantee that assuming that the male friend is straight, he wants to sleep with her.

Oh please, lazy stereotyping.

Its funny, they say us feminists are man haters, we give them a lot more credit than most it seems!