Mum showing up unannounced - have I been unfair?

paulineb_2

To be honest, if you were upset after the first time it happened why didnt you ask for the key back then? Or ask her to give you a bit of notice if she was popping round?

meritaten

oh gawd - I do sympathise. when OH and I first got married we lived in 'rooms' in his uncles house, to which his mum had a key. and of course she always walked in at the worst moments!
I am a bit surprised though that mum can 'walk in'? why does she have a key? if you give someone a key then you can expect them to use it?
your mum may be of a different generation and perhaps she thinks 'activities' are confined to certain hours and in the bedroom?
take the key off her or 'lock' the door when you are in - you are entitled to your privacy and as a matter of courtesy I would text my own kids to see if a visit was convenient - if having to visit without announcement - then I would knock and if no answer go away.

sorry - just gone back and read you leave the back door unlocked. are you nuts? leave it locked! your next visitors may not be as benign as your mum and make off with most of your belongings! its a fallacy that burglars only target houses where the people aren't at home!

geri1965_2

You should be locking your doors anyway if you are upstairs at it. Next time it could be a burglar, not your mother.

Torry_Quine

GeckoGirl1985 wrote: »

I forgot to say, she doesn't have a key - she is letting herself in through the back door which we leave unlocked when we are home. Perhaps this is foolish of us but then we are not used to having unexpected people simply walk in on us! Luckily tonight we were upstairs when she arrived so out of sight, but she could have easily walked in on us in the living room. My feeling is that we shouldn't have to lock the doors to our own home just in case somebody walks into our house unexpectedly. Not only that, but when she does arrive out of the blue it is still frustrating for us to have to stop mid-act if you know what I mean.

Then lock the back door and problem solved. Yes you shouldn't have to lock it to stop her but it could have been a burglar! :eek:

quidsy

Start locking the back door, apart from it being sensible security wise, what would you do if it were a burglar walking in on you two at it? It will also stop the issue and you could always just not answer her knock, I often do that to unwanted visitors. If it is anyone who knows me well enough, they will try to call & if they don't. well, I don't care if they go away.

Tigsteroonie

GeckoGirl1985 wrote: »

I forgot to say, she doesn't have a key - she is letting herself in through the back door which we leave unlocked when we are home. Perhaps this is foolish of us but then we are not used to having unexpected people simply walk in on us!

In which case you should probably consider yourself lucky that it was only your Mother, and not a bunch of local scallies helping themselves to your TV, DVD player, and anything else left downstairs while you are having fun upstairs.

Own_My_Own

GeckoGirl1985 wrote: »

I forgot to say, she doesn't have a key - she is letting herself in through the back door which we leave unlocked when we are home. Perhaps this is foolish of us but then we are not used to having unexpected people simply walk in on us! Luckily tonight we were upstairs when she arrived so out of sight, but she could have easily walked in on us in the living room. My feeling is that we shouldn't have to lock the doors to our own home just in case somebody walks into our house unexpectedly. Not only that, but when she does arrive out of the blue it is still frustrating for us to have to stop mid-act if you know what I mean.

I would lock the door anyway. If you Mum can walk in while your upstairs so could anyone.

globetraveller

You should get into the habit of locking the back door. Many folks have been burgled when in their house. I actually don't understand why you haven't started doing that anyway after mum walked in the first time unannounced.

kazwookie

1. Lock the doors while you are 'busy'
2. My Sil has a sign in her kitchen 'friends at any time, relations by appointment' as I always 'book' to visit and am always welcome!

GeckoGirl1985

Dunroamin wrote: »

Used you to pop round to your mother's place or did you ring first to make an appointment?

She lives in the town centre so we visit her if we are going into town. I text or call her to see if she is home and if it is alright to visit, although if I do need to pop in unexpectedly, it is literally a 'pop in' - 2 minutes to say hello, do what is needed (collect post for example) then a kiss goodbye and we are gone. We don't show up for visits without checking first.