Mum showing up unannounced - have I been unfair?

lostinrates

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Who's talking about going upstairs? What about downstairs in the living room?

That's different, slightly.

Here, it depends whether we close the curtains down stairs or not......

Any

lostinrates wrote: »

That's different, slightly.

Here, it depends whether we close the curtains down stairs or not......

That is different post then I read 3 seconds ago!!! :rotfl:

aileth

One occasion we've been getting down in the living room before we've noticed a neighbour looking into our window (most action she's got in a while I'd bet)

The other time we were getting into it and I looked to the left and the cat was just sat there staring at me with the most disapproving, disappointed eyes ever. Totally ruined the mood.

Now if there's any 'spontaneity', we do a three point safety check of doors, windows and cats

lostinrates

Any wrote: »

That is different post then I read 3 seconds ago!!! :rotfl:

That's because I thought about it and realised I was wrong first time.

maman

Just calling by to say that my DD came around earlier. She had texted to say she was coming and then knocked on the door although she has a key. So I'm satisfied in this respect we seem like a fairly normal family.


BUT, when my DH comes home I will be complaining bitterly that compared with others on here I'm badly treated and all the spontaneity seems to be gone from our relationship.:rotfl:

paulineb_2

Any wrote: »

Depends how young (no actually, how passionate no matter what their age) the couple and how quickly their senses overcome them...
One moment you are in the view of the door, next that is your last thought in the world...

Passion. I can see how it happens occassionaly..

Edit: Wish it happened to me a bit more often:rotfl:;)

Well, I wonder how quickly their senses would overcome them if someone walked into their house and robbed them while they were otherwise engaged


Sorry, but they go to bed or do anything else knowing they've left their door unlocked. It takes two seconds to put a key in a lock.


Sorry if that's not really Millls and Boon enough, but safety first anything else second.

paulineb_2

lushlifesaver wrote: »

We fall in to this camp too - I have keys for my parents home (front door and French doors) and for my bf's parents home, his parents have keys to ours and mine will just as soon as I remember to get a new set cut!

We all mostly keep our doors locked but we also don't get up to any hanky panky during the day...well not to my knowledge anyway! I let myself in to my parents when I visit on Saturdays as I arrive at about 7.15 am so hey are still asleep - I make fresh coffee and breakfast in time for their alarms though And when necessary we let ourselves in to bf's parents (dropping things off/picking bits up/checking on the dogs). His parents are welcome to let themselves in to ours anytime, bf goes away a lot so it is good for me security wise to know another set of keys is just 5 minutes walk away and they can check on me/the dog/do little jobs etc when needed.

Back to the topic in hand though, I think the solutions to your problem are very clear:

• lock your back door - for securities sake if nothing else
• talk to your mum as a peer, don't lecture or grump have an grown up discussion about it
• let your sister know how your mum is feeling.
• Maybe let your mum know if there's any days when you and bf are out all day so she can spend sometime somewhere quieter and have some peace of her own with her cat
• make an effort with her, her home has been damaged, she is displaced and she is away from her cat

Also, do you really think she needs to/expect her to schedule appointments to see her cat. Poor woman; after a house fire, feeling very displaced and probably lonely that she even needs to do that

And living with a daughter that has no tolerance for her or seemingly anyone else either.

jetplane

lostinrates wrote: »

We leave our doors unlocked through the day if there is some one in the house or garden, which there pretty much always is. . We don't even have a proper back door fitted, Just a pallet with a tarp and some cardboard and bubble wrap :o

When I read your posts they often bring to mind Hannah Hauxwell for some reason :think:

sassyblue

GeckoGirl1985 wrote: »

I explained that she had disturbed us during our private time and that could she please phone us in future to let us know she would like to visit. I told her that she was very welcome in our home and that we had no problem with her visiting as long as we know she is coming beforehand. She got very upset and defensive, saying that she did not realise she needed to make an appointment to visit her own daughter

I do think what you said sounds a bit harsh although in the circumstances you were annoyed.

I don't think anything else needs saying tbh, just keep all your doors locked with the key left in from now on, our mum won't be able to let herself in that way and she'll have to knock to let you know she's there to be let in.

lostinrates

paulineb wrote: »

Well, I wonder how quickly their senses would overcome them if someone walked into their house and robbed them while they were otherwise engaged


Sorry, but they go to bed or do anything else knowing they've left their door unlocked. It takes two seconds to put a key in a lock.


Sorry if that's not really Millls and Boon enough, but safety first anything else second.

We get a pretty good alert when someone comes to the house, and an even better one if its someone the dogs don't know VERY well.