Why doesn't he want to marry me?

Tiddlywinks

runningwoman wrote: »

I actually googled it and according to the first source I found, something like 3.5 million, 1 in 3 women of reproductive age, are on it. So I suppose given that, even with very low failure rates, there's gonna be some accidents.

If someone absolutely doesn't want their trousers to fall down they use a belt and braces.... So, if you absolutely don't want to get pregnant... Use the pill and another contraceptive.

lostinrates

maharani_m wrote: »

I completely agree - this is exactly what I told my partner, on our first date no less!

The original poster is being completely ridiculous if they are considering leaving the father of their children because he doesn't want to get married. To be honest, if marriage was that important to them, they shouldn't have had children first. Once you have children, you always come second because children are more important.

But she isn't. She has said more than once that she isn't. She has said she wants it but not at risk to her relationship.

lostinrates

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

If someone absolutely doesn't want their trousers to fall down they use a belt and braces.... So, if you absolutely don't want to get pregnant... Use the pill and another contraceptive.

Honestly, the pill was a pretty effective contraception for me because my libido plummeted and I became horrifically hormonal on it. I wanted to eat chocolate, rant, weep and not have sex while my breasts grew and I put on weight.

However, I decided it probably wan't the most fulfilling way for it to work and came off it. But I do know in just in its side effects for me it reduced my chances of pregnancy significantly. :rotfl:

Tiddlywinks

lostinrates wrote: »

But she isn't. She has said more than once that she isn't. She has said she wants it but not at risk to her relationship.

I think there is a real danger though that this is such a fundamental difference that it will be corrosive in the longer term... Every time a friend marries, scenes in movies, on TV, well meaning comments from friends etc will all be a constant reminder of the unfulfilled dream.

lostinrates

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I think there is a real danger though that this is such a fundamental difference that it will be corrosive in the longer term... Every time a friend marries, scenes in movies, on TV, well meaning comments from friends etc will all be a constant reminder of the unfulfilled dream.

People have unfulfilled dreams and live with them all the time. . Doesn't have to eat one up with bitterness.

She has fulfilled dreams to balance it, a relationship and children. She's chosen to make a go of it. It'll work or not, like any other relationship or marriage.

Bennifred

So - every time he asks what she wants for her birthday/Christmas etc the reply should be: A wedding ring, please!

System

maharani_m wrote: »

If she wants it, but not at risk to her relationship, why ask a bunch of strangers on a forum why her partner doesn't want to marry her?! How would we know! She should grow up and talk to her partner!

She has done and he said no.

lostinrates

maharani_m wrote: »

If she wants it, but not at risk to her relationship, why ask a bunch of strangers on a forum why her partner doesn't want to marry her?! How would we know! She should grow up and talk to her partner!

Sounded to me like she was trying to gain perspective and let off steam all in one. Doesn't seem heinous.

annie_d

...a little story....my son has been with his gf for 10 years...he says...we don't believe in marriage.....my husband's response is......you will when you meet the right one. angry face from son ensued.

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

Well yeah!

I've shacked up with two, the point was to see if we could stand to live together, we couldn't. There's no way in hell I'd ever marry somebody without at least a year or two of cohabitation, and that's how most of my peers feel too.

I do think this is what many people do these days. I know a young woman who has cohabited with every boyfriend she has had.

To me, if I did this, I would want to be married when I finally met 'Mr Right, because it wouldn't feel special otherwise, just another one in a long string of 'friends with perks'.