Why doesn't he want to marry me?

Stephb1986_2

Congratulations I will look forward to seeing you on the wedding board

Steph xx

System

Mojisola wrote: »

Although most civil partnership ceremonies use a similar structure to a Registry Office wedding, all that is needed for it to be legal is basically this -

Celebrant reads wording to couple -
“I declare that I know of no legal reason why we may not register as each other’s civil partner. I understand that on signing this document we will be forming a civil partnership with each other.”
(name) and (name) would you please sign the partnership schedule.

I think there are hetero couples who would like to have what feels more like an agreement that gives them legal rights and protection than a "ceremony".

I kind of wish they were legal for everyone



Bf and I have kind of discussed marriage, not in a sense of it happening for us but in the sense of what both of us would want. Neither of us would want a big wedding and he's not keen on marriage per say but would be happier with a civil partnership, as would I.

It's weird for me being older (he's 23 and I'm 27) as a lot of my friends are getting married mad settling down but I just don't feel I'd want to do that. I love my bf to bits and yes maybe if we're still together in the future it would be nice but I'm grateful I'm not one of those women who desperately wants to marry and has an unwilling partner. If I was it would probably bother me to the same extent it does the OP (although in my head I'm adamant I don't want the commitment of kids unless I was committed in other ways first)

Edit: glad you had the chat OP and everything worked out

MrSmartprice

If you are happy in a relationship, being married will make no difference. And if there are problems, a piece of paper will certainly not improve anything.

My view has always been that being married is no big deal at all. It is simply a legal matter which can be useful in some circumstances. We tied the knot after many years to secure the situation regarding inheritance, pensions and so on. It has made no difference to our relationship, but made everything more secure. We didn't spend a fortune doing the deed either!;)

Gloomendoom

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I kind of wish they were legal for everyone

Why? Unless I am mistaken, a civil partnership is virtually identical to a civil marriage in all but name.

heartbreak_star

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Why? Unless I am mistaken, a civil partnership is virtually identical to a civil marriage in all but name.

I think a lot of people still see marriage as religious, one way or another.

HBS x

Person_one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I think a lot of people still see marriage as religious, one way or another.

HBS x

A civil marriage definitely isn't though, religion is strictly forbidden!

There's really no need to have two names/two lots of paperwork for what is essentially the same thing. That's one of the reasons its so daft to have a separate option for same sex couples.

Georgiegirl256

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I think a lot of people still see marriage as religious, one way or another.

HBS x

Not really. Our wedding had no religious aspect whatsoever.

an9i77

Now that we've agreed to do it, I can see one major factor that was holding my OH back - the cost of a wedding. I guess if you're not that fussed about getting married then it could seem like a waste of money, more so than to someone who really wants to (as in their eyes the money isn't being wasted as they're spending it on something they really want). I have discussed eloping to vegas but think my mum would kill me if she couldn't be there for the big day. The other plan is to do what my friends did (one was getting married for the second time so didn't want a big fuss) and told no one until the day, then got their parents to meet them in town (under false prentences) and went to the register office, then for a hearty meal. That may be a little too low key for my liking, but I guess is one way of doing it without breaking the bank.

Georgiegirl256

We would have just eloped to Vegas, but like you, we wanted our parents there. So we went to Gretna Green instead, and it was just how we wanted it, no fuss, low cost, but better than the local registry office.

We honeymooned in Vegas instead! We also saved money lots of other ways, we didn't have a cake, the flowers weren't real, but they certainly looked it, and they only cost £40. There are loads of ways to save money if you put your mind to it.

DigForVictory

Congratulations! So pleased for you & all the best planning & enjoying your wedding now you have the everyday life sorted!