Why doesn't he want to marry me?

Lunar_Eclipse

j.e.j. wrote: »

I'm just saying what reason has he got to marry her?

Love.

Isn't that the only ideal reason for anyone to get married? Because they love the person, they want to grow old with them and they'd rather not face life without them. I believe in that fairy tale. Which I think helped me become married and more importantly continues to help me stay married when the days are long and trying or the SHTF.

Georgiegirl256

annie_d wrote: »

...a little story....my son has been with his gf for 10 years...he says...we don't believe in marriage.....my husband's response is......you will when you meet the right one. angry face from son ensued.

So are you saying EVERYONE who is with someone long term but isn't married isn't with the right one? Bit of a generalisation there....

paulineb_2

Its possible to love someone and want to grow old with them without getting married.

Dunroamin

runningwoman wrote: »

I actually googled it and according to the first source I found, something like 3.5 million, 1 in 3 women of reproductive age, are on it. So I suppose given that, even with very low failure rates, there's gonna be some accidents.

When used correctly, the combined pill has a failure rate of 0.2% so, on your figures, one might expect 70 women per year to become pregnant - unfortunately they all seem to post on MSE.;)

(Obviously the failure rate of the mini pill is higher.)

Nada666

According to the extremists in Scotland the only reason to marry is if you have complementary genitalia. Love, adoration, wanting a bond to grow faster and faster, children, lust, possessiveness, running round in circles till you run out of breath - those criteria are not relevant.

Dunroamin

bugslet wrote: »

To be clear, a relationship with children is different.

Unmarried for 28 years, I wasn't waiting for a better offer. I jsut don't get the point.

You do have rights if you make the effort to set it out. It's called a will.

For me there were more cons than pros. One of them occured in 2004 when he had an affair. Rightly or wrongly, there was no way on earth I would have given that gold-digging tramp a penny of my money. If I'd been married he would have been due half of my business and the home. As it was, he had no claim on either. (If we had split up properly IYKWIM, then it would have been a split of assets). It made him see her for what she was, once she found out he wasn't due half the business, she kinda lost interest;) and we got over the whole mess and went on to have happy years together.

I think your example illustrates perfectly what some of us are saying about marriage showing a greater commitment than co habitation.

seven-day-weekend

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Love.

Isn't that the only ideal reason for anyone to get married? Because they love the person, they want to grow old with them and they'd rather not face life without them. I believe in that fairy tale. Which I think helped me become married and more importantly continues to help me stay married when the days are long and trying or the SHTF.

I believe that too. I have had a long and happy marriage, but it doesn't mean that there have never been any difficult times. It was both of us wanting to carry on IN SPITE of the difficulties that brought us through, instead of splitting up at the first hurdle.

If you feel like that about someone, I don't see why you would not want to marry them?

'When the going gets tough, the tough get going'.

System

Slightly off topic I know, does anyone know the failure rate of the contraceptive implant?

daisiegg

Judi wrote: »

Slightly off topic I know, does anyone know the failure rate of the contraceptive implant?

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/contraception-guide/Pages/how-effective-contraception.aspx

newcook

I think its shocking the amount of people who are saying that if he truly loved her he would want to make her happy and marriage would make her happy but surely if she truly loved him she wouldn’t want to make him unhappy by making him do something that he doesn’t want to do!

Maybe he has seen too many marriages around him fail and seen how spiteful and bitter divorce can make people.

People should get married because they both want to get married. OP your OH has said that he loves you and wants to be with you but just doesn’t want to get married – perhaps compromise and ask for an eternity ring instead?

Im quite surprised that I still want to get married despite both my parents being married 3 times!!