Why doesn't he want to marry me?

poet123

What it would come down to for me is that if we couldn't agree on such a fundamental issue then we would lack compatibility. I couldn't be with someone who had such different views on marriage.

Errata

paulineb wrote: »

Also, some people who have been together for 4 years arent talking marriage at that stage, take the kids out of the equation and it doesnt necessarily mean that if you are in a long term relationship, marriage would necessarily be on the cards. Some people get married in a few months, some get married after 10 years

My brother is living with someone, been together 8 years, not married and happy. It is possible to be in a relationship that lasts the distance without the wedding.

Statistics show that on average unmarried partnerships have a shorter shelf life than marriages.

paulineb_2

Errata wrote: »

Statistics show that on average unmarried partnerships have a shorter shelf life than marriages.

I dont believe that to be true. Im sure my brothers relationship has lasted a lot longer than many marriages. In fact I know it has. My mums marriage lasted a few years, her second, two years, her second marriage was very abusive.

My brothers relationship is still going strong, also his partner has been married and divorced and if she doesnt want to get married again Im sure he respects that, doesnt mean they arent a strong partnership, each to their own

paulineb_2

Also, perhaps if the subject was dropped for a while, the OP's partner would ask her in his own time.

poet123

paulineb wrote: »

I dont believe that to be true. Im sure my brothers relationship has lasted a lot longer than many marriages. In fact I know it has.

That doesn't mean that the overall stats are wrong though.

claire16c

daisiegg wrote: »

I wonder if 99% effective means....1 in 100 people will get pregnant at some point while using the pill, or if it means that if you use the pill for contraception over 100 months, chances are you will get pregnant in one of them?! I don't think I have explained that very well but it is a slightly scary thought.

It just feels so crazy that people can fall pregnant so easily while supposedly doing everything right to avoid it, and yet plenty of other people take months and months of actively trying to get pregnant before it happens (and that is not taking into account people with fertility issues who take longer...I mean, just ordinary healthy fertile people taking months of trying). I know I am not being logical. It just feels like it hasn't been arranged quite right! :rotfl:

ETA congratulations btw on your pregnancy

I have always read that the pill is 99.99 effective and less than 1 woman in 1000 in 1 year will get pregnant with proper use.

I've lost track of the amount of people who said they were on the pill then you find out they were sick or on anti biotics etc & didn't follow the 7 day rule. So they weren't actually on it then were they!

I think average effectiveness with general use is 92% which at 8 in 100 is a lot more than 1 in 1000.

I don't know anyone who had got pregnant whilst using it properly myself, I guess there's a few people out there but it will be much more likely they weren't using it properly.

seven-day-weekend

I have friends who have been together over twenty-five years and never married. No-one doubts their commitment to each other, but it was both their choices not to marry, for various reasons.

If you love someone and are not bothered about marriage,, but they really want to, why would you not (especially if they are the parent of your children)? Why would you not want to make them happy? This is what I don't understand and why I can only conclude that he does not love her enough/ simply does not want to marry her, whilst not being averse to marriage itself.

paulineb_2

Errata wrote: »

Statistics show that on average unmarried partnerships have a shorter shelf life than marriages.

And the shelf life isnt important, its the relationship that matters, I know so many people in unhappy marriages.

paulineb_2

poet123 wrote: »

That doesn't mean that the overall stats are wrong though.

Well perhaps someone could give a source for the stats. Theyve just been mentioned so far.

poet123

paulineb wrote: »

And the shelf life isnt important, its the relationship that matters, I know so many people in unhappy marriages.

And that must apply to those who are unmarried but who stay together because of the children.