In this situation would you have said something (as I did) or keep quiet?

troubleinparadise

emsywoo123 wrote: »

One child didn't come to my son's 3rd birthday party yesterday, which was at a huge "cost per head" expense. No phone call, no text, nothing. Should I a) be plotting some awful revenge ready for nursery tomorrow b) accept something happened, and hope for an apology or explaination tomorrow, but just move on if it doesn't.
This thread has got me thinking now. :-D

Definitely b) - there may have been a crisis that cropped up last minute.

You would be perfectly within your rights to remark that you were sorry not to see them at the party and hope that nothing awful had happened?

That way you set your own boundary if it turns out it wasn't a serious crisis. "I would have appreciated a call to say you weren't coming" says that you accept their apology, (assuming it didn't involve hospital etc) but lets them know how you would like them to handle a no-show in the future.

Move on, it isn't a major issue, but if the no-show wasn't justified, put them on your reserve list for later parties.

Especially these days with mobiles, which gives the perfect get-out at the last minute ("oh but I texted you to say I couldn't make it") there really isn't any reason other than major crisis why you might not make contact.

emsywoo123

Tyler_Durden_UK wrote: »

Wow, I'm surprised do people really not let each other know how they feel in situations like this? Doesn't not being honest cause more problems / resentment in the long run. To those suggesting that any malice was intended please don't be ridiculous.

Firstly, it's not a question of "letting people know". The consensus was that your reaction was over the top full stop.


Secondly, if you felt that strongly, your timing was at best, "off"


They were in your house. It was a week later. The horrors. I'm cringing.

emsywoo123

troubleinparadise wrote: »

Definitely b) - there may have been a crisis that cropped up last minute.

You would be perfectly within your rights to remark that you were sorry not to see them at the party and hope that nothing awful had happened?

That way you set your own boundary if it turns out it wasn't a serious crisis. "I would have appreciated a call to say you weren't coming" says that you accept their apology, (assuming it didn't involve hospital etc) but lets them know how you would like them to handle a no-show in the future.

Move on, it isn't a major issue, but if the no-show wasn't justified, put them on your reserve list for later parties.

Especially these days with mobiles, which gives the perfect get-out at the last minute ("oh but I texted you to say I couldn't make it") there really isn't any reason other than major crisis why you might not make contact.

Oops. Mine was a tongue in cheek post, sorry. I'm really not planning to mastermind revenge.

arbroath_lass

Tyler_Durden_UK wrote: »

Wow, I'm surprised do people really not let each other know how they feel in situations like this? Doesn't not being honest cause more problems / resentment in the long run. To those suggesting that any malice was intended please don't be ridiculous.

I think what they are saying is they feel your feelings were over the top, and you need to deal with that, not take it out on family.

*max*

When you think about it, it was a missed opportunity for a "Saw" type scenario. Luring a couple to your home under false pretences, to teach them a lesson because of some perceived wrong-doing.


Wanna play a game? :cool:

emsywoo123

*max* wrote: »

When you think about it, it was a missed opportunity for a "Saw" type scenario. Luring a couple to your home under false pretences, to teach them a lesson because of some perceived wrong-doing.


Wanna play a game? :cool:

I cried at Saw 5 in the cinema. Literally cried.
Should've known that fella was a wrong 'un when he suggested it for date night.

tea_lover

Wow, I read a lot of threads on here but some things still surprise me! OP, you seriously need to get over yourself, I think you were incredibly rude.

*max*

Hang on...How do we know if those people actually made it back home....? They could be buried under OP's patio. :eek:

notanewuser

Dunroamin wrote: »

Do people always invite loads of adults to a children's party and, if so, why?

We held a naming ceremony for DD on her 2nd birthday. Hence more adults than kids.

KiKi

Tyler_Durden_UK wrote: »

Wow, I'm surprised do people really not let each other know how they feel in situations like this? Doesn't not being honest cause more problems / resentment in the long run.

Not always, no.

If you have a best mate who is deliberately hurting you in some way - then yes, tell them. If your mother is insulting your wife and causing her to be very upset - then yes, tell her.

But you have to decide: is the issue actually that serious, or could there be a different viewpoint? Or are you perhaps being a bit oversensitive? Or is there perhaps a different perspective to take? Or a bigger picture to consider?

By raising it, you're suggesting that it's quite serious, certainly serious enough to make a point. If you feel you have to be honest - then go for it. But sometimes it may be you who's oversensitive, which then causes the person on the receiving end to react - which is what's happened here, IMO.


ETA: I have a situation at the moment with a friend who's upsetting me a lot. And it's a problem, so I will have to talk to her about it. I will pick my moment, and choose my words very carefully so that I don't make it worse, and so that we can make it through and still be friends! But that's very different to telling my mum, for example, that her constant chatting irritates me. That's about me and my lack of tolerance, not her. So I keep quiet and let her talk.