Can you ask someone in their own home..

victory

supersaver2 wrote: »

It reminds me a bit of the dog in house thread that was on here recently and the general consensus was why would you want visitors to be uncomfortable when you invite them round which I can well understand. If I had visitors the heating would be on, if they were sat with their coats on and turning blue I would offer to turn it up. All part of being a good host.

We can see our own breath as you would standing at a bus stop, blue no but cold yes:D

Brighton_belle

victory wrote: »

we go fully clothed for winter days as wrapped up as you would if you were going out and having to stand at the bus stop for an hour.

victory wrote: »

Well they go on plenty of hols so not thinking cash poor:D

^^^

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

The OP knows it will be colder in the house and there is a chance that may be because of money issues - better for them to just wear an extra layer than place a financial burden on the friend, surely?

The Op already goes as wrapped up as you would be outside and the friends go on plenty of hols...

supersaver2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Even if you were worrying about where every penny was going?

Or if the guests had turned up in short sleeves or a thin top?

The OP knows it will be colder in the house and there is a chance that may be because of money issues - better for them to just wear an extra layer than place a financial burden on the friend, surely?

If my house was that uncomfortable then I probably wouldn't invite them, it's not going to be a pleasurable visit if they are so uncomfortable.
Just seen the OP's post, if money isn't an issue, maybe they don't realise visitors are so cold if they don't feel it themselves. I still think being a half decent host suggest you should ensure your visitors are as comfortable as possible.

victory

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I'm really surprised by the replies above: I wouldn't hesitate to tell someone I was visiting I was really cold and I would be mortified if any guest of mine sat and silently shivered.
In fact as a considerate host I always check several times during a visit anyway that a visitor is warm enough/not over warm. Basic manners if you have invited someone to your home.

I wouldn't ask for the heating on, but I would explain I was cold, and would be happy to sit under a blanket if they had one. But then if I knew a house was really cold, I'd be happy to turn up with a blanket and a hotwater bottle, and be totally self sufficient. Getting bone cold really doesn't do me any good healthwise and I am not going to get caught up in not being real about that and suffer like a martyr afterwards. And I have never once had a host be anything other than delighted with my honesty.

That is it, that is what it is bone cold, I don't think I would ever take a blanket and a hot water bottle, I don't see us as martyring just mussing over whether it would be very rude to ask for the heating to be put on for a smidge?

victory

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Even if you were worrying about where every penny was going?

Or if the guests had turned up in short sleeves or a thin top?

The OP knows it will be colder in the house and there is a chance that may be because of money issues - better for them to just wear an extra layer than place a financial burden on the friend, surely?

Just to make it clear, it is not money issues, would never in a million years put a financial burden on a person I have known for years and love dearly, no, not anything to do with money.

victory

paulineb wrote: »

The thing is, several holidays a year doesnt sound like they are cash poor, so how much of a big deal would it be to put the heating on for an hour or two, so cold you take a sharp intake of breath due to the cold air, no thanks, not for me.

Well as has been said it must be as it is not about the money, it must be simply they do not suffer the cold...

DKLS

I wouldnt ask them to put the heating on but wouldnt visit them in Winter again, but would be happy to pop round in the Summer.

Brighton_belle

victory wrote: »

That is it, that is what it is bone cold, I don't think I would ever take a blanket and a hot water bottle, I don't see us as martyring just mussing over whether it would be very rude to ask for the heating to be put on for a smidge?

Sorry Victory - I wasn't suggesting for a moment you were martyring! I was talking about me - I refuse to suffer out of some misplaced politeness.
I have taken a blanket and hotwater bottle out before, lol. I would say I don't care what others think, but I don't have any family or friends who would not admire my practical and self sufficient approach to looking after myself.

victory

supersaver2 wrote: »

If my house was that uncomfortable then I probably wouldn't invite them, it's not going to be a pleasurable visit if they are so uncomfortable.
Just seen the OP's post, if money isn't an issue, maybe they don't realise visitors are so cold if they don't feel it themselves. I still think being a half decent host suggest you should ensure your visitors are as comfortable as possible.

Then it could be turned around to us though because we are feeling the cold they are not otherwise they would the ch on? They are great hosts, great fun to be with in and very dear to us must come back to us cold, them not?

jackyann

You say that they like to invite you. Could you try saying "I know you love to invite us, but I would really love to reciprocate, so please come over to me this time" (assuming the journey isn't an issue)

Then at yours, you can observe whether they look uncomfortable, start taking jumpers off etc. in your warm house! Will give you an idea!
Having said that, I know one or two people who just seem to carry on regardless, never appearing to notice warmth or coolness!

If anyone starts a conversation about heating / warmth I think it's OK to say "I know I feel the cold; sometimes when I know others are warm enough, I just feel cold". They may take the hint!

And as a hostess, I always ask people if they are comfortable (they may politely lie, but they've had their chance!)