is this verbal abuse?

Dunroamin

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

If there was a thread saying:
Am i a victim of abuse.
Last night me and my husband were having an argument. After an hour I started hitting him with a pan, he kept pushing me away and telling me to stop. Because I kept hitting him, he punched me.... what should I do?

Then you'd probably see the same responses.

Many of remember the general reaction when a regular female poster boasted of using judo (?) on her husband and hope it made him scared and compliant.

martinsurrey

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

If there was a thread saying:
Am i a victim of abuse.
Last night me and my husband were having an argument. After an hour I started hitting him with a pan, he kept pushing me away and telling me to stop. Because I kept hitting him, he punched me.... what should I do?

Then you'd probably see the same responses.

thats not quite the same, talking and debating is a normal thing to do, you dont see paxman getting screamed at with personal abuse becuase he asks questions.

try this one


Am i a victim of abuse.
Last night me and my husband were having an argument. After an hour he said he wouldnt talk about it any more, but I carried on, and he punched me.... what should I do?

THAT is what we are talking about.

bitemebankers

paulineb wrote: »

Im well aware of male domestic violence issues.

Clearly you're not, or you wouldn't have asked a question like this:

Ask yourself, if you had the chance to get away from a marriage that wasnt working and took that, stayed away for 6 months, why on earth go back.

If you were, you'd know that it's actually very common for victims to go back to their abusers. This is the case for both male and female victims.

if my marriage was making me so miserable I wanted out, I got out and I stayed out for a matter of months, Im not sure Id be returning.

Well, so would I, but I'm lucky enough not to be a victim of domestic abuse. Abusive relationships are more complex than you realise. But thanks for trying to womansplain it to me.

Dunroamin

martinsurrey wrote: »

thats not quite the same, talking and debating is a normal thing to do, you dont see paxman getting screamed at with personal abuse becuase he asks questions.

try this one


Am i a victim of abuse.
Last night me and my husband were having an argument. After an hour he said he wouldnt talk about it any more, but I carried on, and he punched me.... what should I do?

THAT is what we are talking about.

It might be what you're talking about but the rest of us understand the difference between calling someone a moron and thumping them!

LannieDuck

martinsurrey wrote: »

Am i a victim of abuse.
Last night me and my husband were having an argument. After an hour he said he wouldnt talk about it any more, but I carried on, and he punched me.... what should I do?

THAT is what we are talking about.

It's really not - the OP's wife didn't physically assault him in any way.

It would be more like:

Last night me and my husband were having an argument. After an hour he said he wouldnt talk about it any more, but I carried on, and he shouted at me and called me names.... what should I do?

bitemebankers

Vicky123 wrote: »

I don't feel the need to enlighten you of my personal experiences or fill up pages on it, this is about the OP asking for opinions.

Your own relationships are not necessarily a good guide to other people's relationships.

scheming_gypsy

Anyway, to answer the question... Is this verbal abuse?
No. she verbally abused you at the time because you'd had an argument. It happens, move on. It's no wonder your relationship is struggling if you dwell over being called a moron in the heat of an argument.

bitemebankers

LannieDuck wrote: »

the OP's wife didn't physically assault him in any way.

Ahh, that makes it all okay then.

You do realise that most abuse, regardless of the genders involve, is verbal, don't you?

scheming_gypsy

martinsurrey wrote: »

thats not quite the same, talking and debating is a normal thing to do, you dont see paxman getting screamed at with personal abuse becuase he asks questions.

try this one


Am i a victim of abuse.
Last night me and my husband were having an argument. After an hour he said he wouldnt talk about it any more, but I carried on, and he punched me.... what should I do?

THAT is what we are talking about.

nobody got punched. therefore it's not the same.

paulineb_2

Or. Ive been with my wife for a number of years, our time together has been taken up with volatile explosive arguments, Ive spoken about leaving her a few times and we did actually separate for 6 months but got back together with a fresh start although none of the issues that ended the marriage have been worked on or resolved and after a two week spell with no arguments, they have started again.

Yes, its verbal abuse, but if there are signs that a marriage is not well why would you put yourself back into that situation when its very likely that the behaviour is going to be repeated at some stage.

Without getting professional help.