Rant!!!

paulineb_2

krlyr wrote: »

Maybe OP should just go the whole hog and get a few slaves in to help, too?

Really cannot believe this attitude. I go out to work fulltime, and I still manage to come home and cook dinner, clean the house, look after the dogs, and on top of that I am also studying 2 nights a week. It's made a lot easier by my OH not having a caveman attitude like this..he comes home and he helps out with the washing up, the laundry, the tidying.

Guess what. People are capable of working during the day, and still being able to do housework in the evenings. I would not say it has become the expectation that men be both breadwinner and look after the house - if anything, it has become more of the norm for woman to go out to work despite having children to raise and a home to look after. And for the most part, we manage it fine! And if the male partner is able to help, even better, the workload is shared. I think it's actually quite a patronising attitude to have towards males, to assume that they are less capable of having a job and helping around the house, when woman are able to do both.

Dont you think the caveman attitude is just an excuse for some people who dont want to wash a dish, because its "womens work".

I would hope that if these types of mens marriages ever broke down that they could get onto dial a cleaner (women obviously) and get their house cleaned and tidied and get someone to fan them as well when its hot, darn their socks and cook fabulous low cost and healthy meals from a few simple ingredients knocking around in the kitchen cupboard.

Oh and if they happened to look like Claudia Schiffer, bonus.:rotfl:

paulineb_2

thatlemming wrote: »

This is a disgusting, misogynistic outdated opinion, and quite frankly I feel so so sorry for your OH.

Yes, but its also hilarious. Just waiting for someone to say me Tarzan, you Jane. Or a caveman to come out of his cave with his club.

Seriously lmao here.

HPoirot

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

Is that you honey….lol….

Damn...you sound like my wife....lol

"You never spend any time with me...you love your job more than me...blah di blah blah...."

My response to this is.....

"Chill out woman.....if I could find a job, where I can sit at home all day and get paid.....I'd be the first in line to try and get it......As it is....I HAVE to work so we can have a nice home/car/holiday together/buy the kids iPad’s and toys....etc..... and have a good standard of life…..and save a little for our retirement together......Because I would love nothing more than to spend time with you like we use to when we were young single and free of all responsibilities…"

However, having said that...I'm very lucky to actually have a job i do actually enjoy and love (ok...Maybe a little more than i should maybe...lol.....:)..) and am willing to sacrifice a certain amount of family time now to reap the rewards now and for the future.

In my opinion…..You are being un-reasonable...If he works full time and you’re a housewife....then ……..(I know im going to get slated for this) ………Looking after the kids is YOUR responsibility and supporting you and the kids his.

As for the not watching TV together…..that’s like my wife saying you didn’t come home in time to watch ‘Eastedners’ together….the trust is…if I’m at home and have nothing else to do then I will happily sit and watch it with her….but if I’m busy then I don’t….

Like me maybe he watches it because you do…..

:eek: Did you marry your housekeeper?

paulineb_2

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

I kind of understand where you’re coming from with that comment...

However, if you have a good relationship……then short periods of a husband not being home mon-fri or even for a few weeks/months at a time…….. Because he’s working away……should NOT be an ISSUE at all …….on the marriage or the kids……

It depends on how strong your relationship is to start with……...if there is already tension in the household because of underlying issues ….financial/marital…whatever……

And suddenly the husband has to work away or long hours and the wife feels he is not pulling his weight at home….then there will be fireworks…and stress…as demonstrated by OP….

I’m going to frank here…..I apologies in advance to all the sensitive type females on here….
Some women today demand TOO much from their partners these days……a MAN’S role primarily has been to be the bread winner and the WOMAN’S role to be the housekeeper……
In this day and age women in the western countries expect their men to be both…..someone who provides for the family and looks after the house…..
Go back 70/80 years…..and you will see none of this …… women did their job and the men did there’s…..
Now….. I’m not saying we should go back to the ways things use to be…….where the men went out to work……came home ……and expected the dinner on the table and not to have to lift finger around the house….
But if a man’s got to work long hours to provide for the family then the wife SHOULD pick up the slack and not moan and whine about it……

Btw, if you read the OP's first post again, you'll see that she says that she also works.

paulineb_2

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

Is that you honey….lol….

Damn...you sound like my wife....lol

"You never spend any time with me...you love your job more than me...blah di blah blah...."

My response to this is.....

"Chill out woman.....if I could find a job, where I can sit at home all day and get paid.....I'd be the first in line to try and get it......As it is....I HAVE to work so we can have a nice home/car/holiday together/buy the kids iPad’s and toys....etc..... and have a good standard of life…..and save a little for our retirement together......Because I would love nothing more than to spend time with you like we use to when we were young single and free of all responsibilities…"

However, having said that...I'm very lucky to actually have a job i do actually enjoy and love (ok...Maybe a little more than i should maybe...lol.....:)..) and am willing to sacrifice a certain amount of family time now to reap the rewards now and for the future.

In my opinion…..You are being un-reasonable...If he works full time and you’re a housewife....then ……..(I know im going to get slated for this) ………Looking after the kids is YOUR responsibility and supporting you and the kids his.

As for the not watching TV together…..that’s like my wife saying you didn’t come home in time to watch ‘Eastedners’ together….the trust is…if I’m at home and have nothing else to do then I will happily sit and watch it with her….but if I’m busy then I don’t….

Like me maybe he watches it because you do…..

Shes not a housewife, she looks after the children and works, she said it in the opening post.

Shes obviously one of these new fangled feminazi sisterhood types.

mandragora_2

Alchemilla wrote: »

Pollycat the post you quoted as excellent advice is completely nonsensical if you try to apply it to teaching there is no limit on our working hours.

Yes there is. 1265 hours:

https://sites.google.com/site/tesfaqs/workinghours

however note: 'It does not include any additional time which teachers spend on planning, marking, assessment or other tasks related to the professional responsibilities of the role.'

I think if you're spending longer discharging this aspect of your work than those at the very top of the school, then you're doing too much! In fact, aim to do about the right amount that means you
1 get the main points of the job done,
2 have educational, hassle-free, productive lessons and
3 have a personal life.
Prioritise according to personal priorities and conscience!

New_and_Improved_Me

krlyr wrote: »

Maybe OP should just go the whole hog and get a few slaves in to help, too?

Really cannot believe this attitude. I go out to work fulltime, and I still manage to come home and cook dinner, clean the house, look after the dogs, and on top of that I am also studying 2 nights a week. It's made a lot easier by my OH not having a caveman attitude like this..he comes home and he helps out with the washing up, the laundry, the tidying.

Guess what. People are capable of working during the day, and still being able to do housework in the evenings. I would not say it has become the expectation that men be both breadwinner and look after the house - if anything, it has become more of the norm for woman to go out to work despite having children to raise and a home to look after. And for the most part, we manage it fine! And if the male partner is able to help, even better, the workload is shared. I think it's actually quite a patronising attitude to have towards males, to assume that they are less capable of having a job and helping around the house, when woman are able to do both.

That would be nice...but with one small conditions...they have to be female and between the age of 18 and 30 slim and sexy....lol

Dunroamin

daisiegg wrote: »

Yeah that was my point in the last paragraph. He should be doing it at home. I get to work at 7.30am but I tend to leave on time and do my work at home. There are some things that need to be done at school such as phoning parents, meetings obviously, and sometimes things that require access to the school system if there is no remote access, but generally things like marking can be done at home.

I would agree with that but it must be difficult if you're married to someone as insensitive to the demands of teaching as the OP seems to be.

New_and_Improved_Me

thatlemming wrote: »

This is a disgusting, misogynistic outdated opinion, and quite frankly I feel so so sorry for your OH.

lol....

you mis-understand me.....ill let you into a little secret....i can cook bette then the wife....i cook most of the meals....i wash....i iron....and i am a great with the kids....WHEN I AM AT HOME....

On the flip side.....i also work away weeks/months on end every now and again....when i do........

My wife...who works part time....picks up the slack.....and if i happen to be working close enough to commute home....she NEVER whines at me about any of the above list.....

we have a good relationship.....i DO NOT treat her like a slave.....i dont expect her to everything.....but i DO expect her to look after the house and the kids when im not there without constant !!!!!ing......

LannieDuck

New_and_Improved_Me wrote: »

Some women today demand TOO much from their partners these days……a MAN’S role primarily has been to be the bread winner and the WOMAN’S role to be the housekeeper……
In this day and age women in the western countries expect their men to be both…..someone who provides for the family and looks after the house…..
Go back 70/80 years…..and you will see none of this …… women did their job and the men did there’s…..

Oh dear.

Many families now need both parents to work in order to earn enough to cover mortgage/utilities etc. But women still do something like 75% of the housework.

I think you'll find "in this day and age" it's men who expect their women to hold down a job and still do the 'women's work'.