Rant!!!

cef66

You definitely need to be sitting down together to talk through how you can make the work / life balance for both of you better.

As an aside, stop doing the ironing - I used to be forever ironing kids clothes ( hubby does his own ) but I stopped as too busy and the kids haven't noticed and neither has anyone else.

I'm a part time teacher and work some of every holiday but child care is rightly my responsibility during the holidays. I work mainly at home, round the kids and if I need (want) to go into work I go when the kids are out with friends or doing an activity or I book them into a holiday club.

All the teachers I know work in their holidays and many go in to work but no-one works the entire week.

Imminent Ofsted is an added pressure and not many people outside teaching understand what the pressures are like for dedicated teachers who want to do the best for their pupils. It is a job that never ends. However spending only an hour with your children on a Saturday should be the priority and I 'm not surprised the OP was upset. He should have done the church work at home and been there for his family.

The OPs husband needs to be reminded, nicely, what the important things in life are and that his family need him to spend time with them.

Pollycat

Alchemilla wrote: »

Pollycat the post you quoted as excellent advice is completely nonsensical if you try to apply it to teaching there is no limit on our working hours.

No it's not nonsensical.

This is the post I said was excellent advice.

ecgirl07 wrote: »

If he cant complete tasks in his regular hours he needs to speak to his boss and get his work load adjusted or he needs to work smarter.

So what's wrong with working smarter?

We don't know if this guy is a teacher or support worker.

Bazey

I reckon he is having an affair. You should probably leave him.

System

Bazey wrote: »

I reckon he is having an affair. You should probably leave him.

LOL Twit!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

sacha28

Frankly, your husband seems to be having major issues managing his work load, to the detriment of his family life. It isn't just you that is suffering, your children are too. It can be damaging to have promises constantly broken. It's not even the fact he didn't get to make the film, it's the time he DIDN'T spend with his family.

Yes you got angry and sounded bitter when you said you may as well be on your own but, the fact is, it probably would be easier as there is no longer the expectation of time and help from your OH. You just get on with things because you have no alternative.

I can't believe some of the archaic attitudes on here. It's 2013 not 1813, a woman's place is no longer in the kitchen, there is now a more equal standing between both parents and father's seem to be taking a more active role in the family home. It is not unreasonable for you to expect him to step up.

One thing I am confused about is that he says he is working all these extra hours because OFSTED 'might' turn up? Call me stupid but do they not get informed that OFSTED will be visiting at some point between 'x' and 'y' dates? I'm a nurse and we get informed that we will be having an inspection by the CQC at some point in the month of June (for example sake). We have no idea what time they are going to turn up, no idea what day, or week but we know a spot check is on the cards. Does it not work the same?

You need to have a CALM chat with your husband, lay it on the line how this situation has made you and the children feel. Tell him you want, at the very least, one day a week where work doesn't feature. You don't talk about it, he doesn't think about it, it's like his job doesn't exist. During half terms, there are only a couple of the days he can work. From home. This could blow up and become unsalvagable if you aren't careful.

liney

Ofsted appear with a days notice as they fancy. The frequency of their visits depend upon the category of the school. For example a school in Special Measures will be monitored closely, but an Outstanding school is not routinely inspected unless triggered by falling data or whistleblowing.

I believe most schools expect the inspectors every 3 years. It may be the 3 year anniversary for his school?

paulineb_2

sacha28 wrote: »

Frankly, your husband seems to be having major issues managing his work load, to the detriment of his family life. It isn't just you that is suffering, your children are too. It can be damaging to have promises constantly broken. It's not even the fact he didn't get to make the film, it's the time he DIDN'T spend with his family.

Yes you got angry and sounded bitter when you said you may as well be on your own but, the fact is, it probably would be easier as there is no longer the expectation of time and help from your OH. You just get on with things because you have no alternative.

I can't believe some of the archaic attitudes on here. It's 2013 not 1813, a woman's place is no longer in the kitchen, there is now a more equal standing between both parents and father's seem to be taking a more active role in the family home. It is not unreasonable for you to expect him to step up.

One thing I am confused about is that he says he is working all these extra hours because OFSTED 'might' turn up? Call me stupid but do they not get informed that OFSTED will be visiting at some point between 'x' and 'y' dates? I'm a nurse and we get informed that we will be having an inspection by the CQC at some point in the month of June (for example sake). We have no idea what time they are going to turn up, no idea what day, or week but we know a spot check is on the cards. Does it not work the same?

You need to have a CALM chat with your husband, lay it on the line how this situation has made you and the children feel. Tell him you want, at the very least, one day a week where work doesn't feature. You don't talk about it, he doesn't think about it, it's like his job doesn't exist. During half terms, there are only a couple of the days he can work. From home. This could blow up and become unsalvagable if you aren't careful.

Some inspections are planned but they can also be unplanned, thats the way it works in Scotland anyway.

As for the no limit on teachers working hours, doesnt mean thats the way it should be. I spoke to my mum 5 mins ago, shes been in school since 8am and she'll be leaving at 5 as she wants to get some stuff done.

If she started going in in holidays (which she has done but only for a day or two to get organised when she was moving classrooms) and working on her days off and very late at night, Id be concerned and Id be having a word with her. Teachers workloads are increasing, shes spoken about this, all sorts of things she has to do now due to the curriculum for excellence, but she still has a work life balance.

Working the way the OP is working could make him ill as well as having a negative effect on his family life.

paulineb_2

I also think the OP may not come back to this thread.

paulineb_2

paulineb wrote: »

Shes not a housewife, she looks after the children and works, she said it in the opening post.

Shes obviously one of these new fangled feminazi sisterhood types.

As its been mentioned in another thread, the comment I made above was a (sarcastic) response to someone else on here who was suggesting all would be better if women stayed at home. If I had put a smiley at the end it might have come across differently, it was a joke and meant to be supportive of the OP, not a criticism.

Say_who?

Oops sorry x