Rant!!!

Alchemilla

@ pollycat...asking his manager to adjust his workload is nonsensical if he is a teacher. Working smarter would very much depend on what his role is and there is a limit to the impact it is likely to have on his time spent working.

Pollycat

Alchemilla wrote: »

@ pollycat...asking his manager to adjust his workload is nonsensical if he is a teacher. Working smarter would very much depend on what his role is and there is a limit to the impact it is likely to have on his time spent working.

@Alchemilla
Again...but we don't know if he's a teacher or not, do we?

The OP came back to the thread but has not confirmed whether or not her OH is a teacher or support staff.

So - again - not nonsensical until proven otherwise.

Alchemilla

Ok we will wait with bated breath!!

kazwookie

Bazey wrote: »

I reckon he is having an affair. You should probably leave him.

I have just sat and read this thread and I have to agree about the affair bit, but the OP needs to sit and talk to husband and find out the true facts.

Pollycat

Actually, I won't (wait with bated breath).

I doubt the OP will update.

She has posted on another thread:

Say_who? wrote: »

Speaking as someone who royally lost her temper with her husband Saturday night and shouted and used some very choice words I hope your feeling better. You remind me of our early marriage I have inherited my mums very fiery temper and my husband will NOT let things go. I remember actually locking myself in the bathroom and singing la la la on one occasion, because once he starts saying something he HAS to finish.

Sometime in the 15 years we've been married we got over it. He knows what my trigger points are and ive gotten very good at making the appropriate noises and not re engaging when I've had enough. We have a bust up maybe 2 or 3 times a year. We both have our issues, to make our marriage work we have both come to accept behaviours we don't like.

I don't actually believe there such a thing as a perfect marriage, maybe some people are lucky but the vast majority of people just make the best of it.

I was very upset by some of the responses on the thread I started (feminazi?) but once I'd calmed down there was some very good advice. Hope your feeling better x

I think she started this thread in a high temper and seems to have settled back into status quo.

esmerelda98

Pollycat wrote: »

Actually, I won't (wait with bated breath).

I doubt the OP will update.

She has posted on another thread:


I think she started this thread in a high temper and seems to have settled back into status quo.

The OP hasn't come back to satisfy your lust for drama and so therefore she has 'settled back into status quo'. Well she might have, entirely her prerogative of course, but she did acknowledge being given what she considers to be good advice on the thread, which implies she may be taking some of it on board.

Pollycat

esmerelda98 wrote: »

The OP hasn't come back to satisfy your lust for drama and so therefore she has 'settled back into status quo'. Well she might have, entirely her prerogative of course, but she did acknowledge being given what she considers to be good advice on the thread, which implies she may be taking some of it on board.

I don't have a 'lust for drama'.

I said she had settled back into status quo based on what she had written on the other thread that I quoted above.

We have a bust up maybe 2 or 3 times a year. We both have our issues, to make our marriage work we have both come to accept behaviours we don't like.

Sounds very much like status quo to me.

She might have acknowledged that she had good advice but a lot of that advice was to talk to her OH about how she feels and his workload.

From what she posted, it doesn't sound like (at least to me) that she intends to try to resolve the issue of her OH's workload. It sounds like she's accepted she threw a strop (one of the 2 or 3 they have a year) and 'let's just sweep it under the carpet'.

Of course, that is her prerogative and I don't particularly care one way or another. :cool:

Say_who?

Good grief people do make assumptions! In answer to some questions. I don't want to give any more information about my husband in case he is recognised (the head is vaguely psychotic).

We haven't had a talk yet because we were busy all day Sunday, he slept in one day, didn't get home until 9.45 another day and isn't home yet.

As for discussing him handling his work load, the phrase regarding grandmothers and eggs comes to mind. We have danced that particular dance for years now. I wasn't angry because he was catching up on work. I was angry because he spent the time at work doing something we were supposed to do together.

Savvy_Sue

Say_who? wrote: »

I wasn't angry because he was catching up on work. I was angry because he spent the time at work doing something we were supposed to do together.

And that, if you don't want a repeat performance, is what you need to discuss, calmly and like adults. And if that is too difficult, and you value your marriage, then I'd suggest counselling, so that you have a neutral party in the room to allow each of you to speak, and to have what you're saying heard.

Pollycat

Say_who? wrote: »

Good grief people do make assumptions! In answer to some questions.

That's the nature of the beast that is a public forum. With a lack of information, people do make assumptions. Welcome to MSE.

I agree 100% with Savvy_Sue.