Rant!!!

Alchemilla

mandragora wrote: »

Yes there is. 1265 hours:

https://sites.google.com/site/tesfaqs/workinghours

however note: 'It does not include any additional time which teachers spend on planning, marking, assessment or other tasks related to the professional responsibilities of the role.'

I think if you're spending longer discharging this aspect of your work than those at the very top of the school, then you're doing too much! In fact, aim to do about the right amount that means you
1 get the main points of the job done,
2 have educational, hassle-free, productive lessons and
3 have a personal life.
Prioritise according to personal priorities and conscience!

1265 is the limit on our working hours at school. It is not a limit on our total working hours.

New_and_Improved_Me

LannieDuck wrote: »

Oh dear.

Many families now need both parents to work in order to earn enough to cover mortgage/utilities etc. But women still do something like 75% of the housework.

I think you'll find "in this day and age" it's men who expect their women to hold down a job and still do the 'women's work'.

Some men DO......but those are the ones who were 'Mothers boys' and are a waste of space...

Tropez

LannieDuck wrote: »

Oh dear.

Many families now need both parents to work in order to earn enough to cover mortgage/utilities etc. But women still do something like 75% of the housework.

I think you'll find "in this day and age" it's men who expect their women to hold down a job and still do the 'women's work'.

I'm pretty lazy when it comes to housework so a woman does nearly all of it in this house.

However, because I acknowledge that I am that lazy I pay all of the cleaner's wages myself

paulineb_2

And dare I say it, with shift work, many people dont expect a home cooked meal when they get in, because when people are on backshifts and nightshifts, many will eat their dinner at their place of work. Its ridiculous to expect in this day and age that a man will go out and work 9-5 and then have his dinner waiting for him when he gets in.

Also, some women cant cook, thats the bottom line, some men cant cook either apart from basic meals. I have a friend who wanted to be a chef when he was young, hes not but he really enjoys cooking and even though his gf can cook, he does the bulk of the cooking in their house, because he enjoys cooking so much. Theres certainly no expectation from him that when he gets home, his gf will have a home cooked meal waiting for him. Just because hes a man.

Some people are better at cooking than their partners, same with DIY, I would think that many partnerships wont fall into traditional male/female chores, people will do what they are better at. So if the man is a good cook and the female of the house is great at DIY, fine.

LannieDuck

Back to the OP, I agree your husband is being unreasonable. If the other teachers (is this his profession?) aren't doing those hours, there's no reason he should have to.

He needs to address his time management. This is a biggie. He's doing something wrong - either being too much of a perfectionist, or daydreaming, or having to redo things.

He needs to do as much of his out of hours work as he can at home. The sermon should have been done at home with both of you. Why did he decide to do it himself, and why did he have to be at work to do it? Is there other work he can do at home so at least his kids see more of him, even if he's working at the same time that they're doing their homework (not sure what ages they are).

He really needs to make an effort to keep his promises to his kids, or not make promises he can't keep.

Also, OP, I'm unclear whether you're working part time/full time too. If you're also FT, it's totally unreasonable of him to leave you to sort out the holidays yourself. If he nominally has that time off, he needs to find a way to protect it so you don't have to use up your leave.

paulineb_2

Thats a good point, if he were home more often, he could do his share of looking after and not just looking after, its about building relationships with his kids as well, not really good to grow up in a home where you rarely see one parent. More understandable if its because he had to work 60 or 70 hour weeks but if hes a teacher and not a support worker, he could be doing a lot of what hes doing at work, at home.

Tropez

paulineb wrote: »

And dare I say it, with shift work, many people dont expect a home cooked meal when they get in, because when people are on backshifts and nightshifts, many will eat their dinner at their place of work. Its ridiculous to expect in this day and age that a man will go out and work 9-5 and then have his dinner waiting for him when he gets in.

Also, some women cant cook, thats the bottom line, some men cant cook either apart from basic meals. I have a friend who wanted to be a chef when he was young, hes not but he really enjoys cooking and even though his gf can cook, he does the bulk of the cooking in their house, because he enjoys cooking so much. Theres certainly no expectation from him that when he gets home, his gf will have a home cooked meal waiting for him. Just because hes a man.

Some people are better at cooking than their partners, same with DIY, I would think that many partnerships wont fall into traditional male/female chores, people will do what they are better at. So if the man is a good cook and the female of the house is great at DIY, fine.

Ah yes, I do most of the cooking at home. OH usually gets in from work after 22:30 and at that time it is much less hassle for her if I do the cooking. Often I'll have it ready for her by the time she gets in, or nearly ready.

FBaby

I started a new job a few months ago and do exactly the same job than my colleague. I have found it so difficult to work with him. He comes in at 7:30 and doesn't go home until after 5pm. He is so stressed and negative that it is really starting to affect me. He constantly complains that we have too much to do, too many demands, people asking for things unreasonably, on and on.... except that the problem is that he is sooooo slow at what he does and doesn't usually get things done because he spends so much time moaning about having to have it done rather than to get on with it. He makes it sounds like he is a victim of workload and that he has no choice to work so many extra hours, when he could do it all within his working hours if he made it a priority.

Anyway, all this to say OP that something doesn't sound right that his work load is such that he needs so many extra hours/days to finish it. So either he is seriously incompetent, or... he isn't really at work....

Do you actually know specifically which duties he is doing on these days he is supposed to be at work? Have you asked him why he can't do it all during his normal hours? Have you asked how many other staff are in the same position?

I am 100% with you. I would be really annoyed too because he is taking you for granted. It is NOT normal to be working so many extra hours. Instead of giving you a hard time for questioning it, he should be discussing it with you as to why he could do to reduce it... and if anything, if is he not going to be home when he said he would, maybe he could contact you as soon as he knows he is going to be late, rather than 15 minutes before being finally home.

lostinrates

Poor op sounds super stressed.

I sympathise, I have felt like with my husband's job which really does demand his attention at odd hours in clouding in the middle of the night, in the middle of lunch, on the way to holidays we have had to cancel.......

I think the answer as to the way forward and the middle ground is in the husband's role.. Are his hours somewhat necessary or not? If he is in an important pastoral care role, for example, and 'his' children are placing more demand on him , or he's trying to get things in place over Hal
F term while they are not, perhaps its understandable.

If the school is in trouble and he's trying to resolve it then similarly, their might be peaks, especially if he is a perfectionist.

If he is not in a position of responsibility then either concern for his time management or other issues really does start to come more into play.

mandragora_2

Alchemilla wrote: »

1265 is the limit on our working hours at school. It is not a limit on our total working hours.

I know, hence me also including: 'It does not include any additional time which teachers spend on planning, marking, assessment or other tasks related to the professional responsibilities of the role.'

The amount of time you need to spend on completing 'other tasks related to the professional responsibilities of the role' needs to match a sensible work/life balance. Clearly that's gone awry here.