Am I being selfish :(

Babywanted

paulineb wrote: »

You are going to have enough saved for 2-3 tries before you start the procedure. Sensible.

But this isnt an all or nothing scenario here. Its not the case that if you dont get the inheritance money to spend as you want, you wont get a shot at IVF at all. You will, you'll just be funding it yourselves. And is the wedding abroad going to cost so much that there wont be any money left over for the IVF? You've said that the inheritance would cover one shot at IVF, is the wedding somewhere so expensive that its going to cost 5 and a half grand for flights and accommodation?

I'll say again. I would count on no money or belongings from any of my living relatives when they die.

Yes unfortunately it's a ridiculously expensive resort !!

Babywanted

Judi wrote: »

I would be spitting feathers if it was me.:mad:

Thanks, we are

lostinrates

Babywanted wrote: »

It has been very draining, I was told at one point I may never walk again but I've fought so hard and am doing great now

Have you reviewed with your medical team if in fact you could fly now as you have improved so much?

Its amazing the people they do let fly!

paulineb_2

Babywanted wrote: »

Thanks, we are

But there surely has to be a way you can sit down and speak to your boyfriends parents and say, we really need this money for IVF, all the tears and the upset and anger in the world isnt going to resolve this without communication.

Babywanted

lostinrates wrote: »

Have you reviewed with your medical team if in fact you could fly now as you have improved so much?

Its amazing the people they do let fly!

Yes it has been discussed and it is something I just cannot do

Babywanted

paulineb wrote: »

But there surely has to be a way you can sit down and speak to your boyfriends parents and say, we really need this money for IVF, all the tears and the upset and anger in the world isnt going to resolve this without communication.

Hubby is going to attempt this again but his parents live quite far away so not so easy to speak face to face

Babywanted

I just want to thanks everyone for their opinions, it's quite insightful to hear an outside view, I know the situation is an awkward one and someone is going to be disappointed in the end

paulineb_2

Babywanted wrote: »

Hubby is going to attempt this again but his parents live 200 miles away so not so easy to speak face to face

How much is this wedding costing per person? Youve said its ridiculously expensive. If the two of you were going, its so expensive that it would cost ten grand for the pair of you? Theres no way it could be done cheaper? Surely if you know the venue its being held in, if your husband did want to go and I appreciate he might not, he could book a cheaper hotel, get cheaper flights and be there for a couple of days. There are always ways to cut down on costs. For people that are going, its being at the wedding that counts. And if he did manage to get there cheaper, he could say to his parents, give me the money over, I'll be at the wedding but in a different hotel and anything spare would be left over for the IVF treatment.

Also, no matter if they live 200 miles away, you can phone them or email them.

paulineb_2

I also agree that if that money hasnt been put into a separate bank account somewhere, it could have been spent ten times over by now.

Id also like to ask, if there was no will, how were the finances sorted out?
Because its my understanding that if a will isnt made it can cause massive problems.

Ive not made a will yet but Im going to very soon as if anything happened to me Id want my brother to get any money I have when I die.

But if there was no will, other living relatives I believe could have claimed on the grandfathers estate.

How were the funds sorted, I wouldnt be so sure that there was no will.

Tiddlywinks

The spouse would have inherited the majority...

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_death_and_wills_e/who_can_inherit_if_there_is_no_will___the_rules_of_intestacy.htm#what_are_the_rules_of_intestacy

'Grandchildren and great grandchildren

A grandchild or great grandchild cannot inherit from the estate of an intestate person unless either:

their parent or grandparent has died before the intestate person, or
their parent is alive when the intestate person dies but dies before reaching the age of 18 without having married or formed a civil partnership'

'Other close relatives

Parents, brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews of the intestate person may inherit under the rules of intestacy. This will depend on a number of circumstances:

whether there is a surviving married or civil partner
whether there are children, grandchildren or great grandchildren.
in the case of nephews and nieces, whether the parent directly related to the person who has died is also dead
the amount of the estate.'