Heartbroken. What to do?

paulineb_2

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

Look, no offence but if you don't believe my feelings are true, then why bother. I am frankly astounded how you can have such good insight into my emotions.

Its not about whether your feelings are true. They could have been true without having sex with someone elses husband. You could have chosen to walk away, you didnt. I actually think people who have affairs may think that if you end up with the person, all the hurt will have been worth it. But you arent the only person who might end up in pain. Even if his wife is the most horrible woman on planet earth, she'll be hurting I expect and his kids are innocent in all of this. He could have kept his trousers up, madly in love with you or not and waited until he left his wife.

If you dont think the sex was important then why do it? Why didnt you just have a chat with him?

Person_one

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

Look, no offence but if you don't believe my feelings are true, then why bother. I am frankly astounded how you can have such good insight into my emotions.

Oh I absolutely believe you believe you're in love.

You did have a choice though, accept some responsibility for your (immoral and callous) actions!

meer53

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

Look, no offence but if you don't believe my feelings are true, then why bother. I am frankly astounded how you can have such good insight into my emotions.

It doesn't really matter about "emotions" does it ? Whether you love him or whether he loves you or not.

The bottom line is that you slept with a man who you knew was married with a family.

UnLucky_in_Love

Errata wrote: »

Clearly, but the decent and honourable thing for the pair of you to do is do nothing until he's left the marital home and lived on his own for 6 months. Unfortunately it appears that neither of you have been blessed by the decency and honour fairy.

If (big if) he leaves his wife I would say it's imperative that he lives on own for a while

Valli

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

If (big if) he leaves his wife I would say it's imperative that he lives on own for a while

Why? So that you and he can pretend this seedy little liason never happened, and that you met subsequently when you were both free?

You think he's going to leave his cosy homely set-up to live in a squalid little bedsit for a few months just to ease your conscience?

And there we were thinking you didn't have one!

meer53

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

If (big if) he leaves his wife I would say it's imperative that he lives on own for a while

But why would he ? He has you as a back up. Does he know this is what you expect ?

UnLucky_in_Love

Why does everyone keep focusing on the sex.

I think it's fair so say that all relevant comments have now been made on this thread, and we should let it die. Again I am grateful for the advice. This is what I came here for, an outside view on our situation.

Pinch of salt comment still applies. Holier than though springs to mind too. But I take your points, we have behaved inappropriately and have to live with the consequences.

Now go watch some fireworks everyone.

Signing off.

meer53

Just a thought - Why, if you love him and he loves you, would you expect him to live on his own ?

Valli

meer53 wrote: »

Just a thought - Why, if you love him and he loves you, would you expect him to live on his own ?

I think I may have answered that - post 336;)

Person_one

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

Pinch of salt comment still applies. Holier than though springs to mind too. But I take your points, we have behaved inappropriately and have to live with the consequences.

Still not a thought for the wife.

Bye then.