Heartbroken. What to do?

tinkerbell28

Person_one wrote: »

I think you should tell the women, does nobody think they deserve to know?

I think they deserve to know....but the repercussions would be huge.

I think in cases like this the messenger always gets shot. Especially when it's a "happy" marriage of 25 + years.

Person_one

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

I think they deserve to know....but the repercussions would be huge.

I think in cases like this the messenger always gets shot. Especially when it's a "happy" marriage of 25 + years.

Does that really matter when two women are being deceived to this extent? Its their lives we're talking about!

tinkerbell28

Person_one wrote: »

Does that really matter when two women are being deceived to this extent? Its their lives we're talking about!

It's not two women I should have put a ' or es there. Mistresses. Plural.

He's been like it from the year dot, with loads and loads of women. They all fall for this kind of chatter and drop their draws. He won't change. It will just cause a lot of heartache for a lot of people.

Yeah I would like to think the same, and often I do think in an ideal world I'd say oh you know what xyz. But when you're in the reality it's different.

I've seen people cheat before and it's been an opportunist fling. Something this serial is ingrained. I don't believe for a minute the guy in the op, if real, has suddenly got to the 50's and tuned out like it.

So yes it does matter, as chances are high the messenger gets shot. When you've got your own family to consider, yes it does matter.

HPoirot

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

It's not two women I should have put a ' or es there. Mistresses. Plural.

He's been like it from the year dot, with loads and loads of women. They all fall for this kind of chatter and drop their draws. He won't change. It will just cause a lot of heartache for a lot of people.

Yeah I would like to think the same, and often I do think in an ideal world I'd say oh you know what xyz. But when you're in the reality it's different.

I've seen people cheat before and it's been an opportunist fling. Something this serial is ingrained. I don't believe for a minute the guy in the op, if real, has suddenly got to the 50's and tuned out like it.

So yes it does matter, as chances are high the messenger gets shot. When you've got your own family to consider, yes it does matter.

In these cases where it has been ongoing forever, the wife probably knows about his ways or has a vague inkling of it, but prefers to ignore it for her own security.

tinkerbell28

HPoirot wrote: »

In these cases where it has been ongoing forever, the wife probably knows about his ways or has a vague inkling of it, but prefers to ignore it for her own security.

I would say so in some respects, but it's the definition of the happy marriage if you blot it all out.

Not getting involved in it. I've seen people cheat and have flings it is always the messenger who gets shot.

harrys_nan

pelirocco wrote: »

Something not right about the OP's way of writing , tis all a bit flowery and drippy to be real

I was just thinking the same thing.
I never make negative posts on here but this time I smell a rat.
I do not think any of this story is true and it is half term after all

clearingout

I have read this story somewhere else recently. Could be the same person, of course. Or a cut and paste. Either way, it's yet more life's ruined by some idiot who can't keep it in his trousers.

And on the off-chance the OP is real, you seriously need to get a grip and stop pretending to yourself that someone who cheats on their wife is 'open and honest' in every way possible. And the 'he doesn't sleep with his wife' thing? My ex told anyone who would listen that. The positive pregnancy test 3 weeks after he walked out must have come as a terrible shock...!

paulineb_2

I dont believe for one nano second that anyone has a happy or even "happy" marriage if someone is a serial cheat. If someone cheats again and again over a prolonged period of time, they might act like jack the lad or the female equivalent, but I bet deep down they really do not like themselves very much.

And poor sods being married to someone who is putting their sexual health at risk again and again and again.

Someone is happy but repeatedly cheats. !!!!!!!!. Ive never been in a relationship in my life where I was truly happy and even considered sleeping with another person, in fact, I may be in the minority, but when I am in love with someone and attracted to them, I dont look at other people in a sexual way.

Happy sounds more like comfort, like a pair of slippers you come back to, familiar.

While you are getting your end away with someone else. If someone was cheating on me and I have been cheated on, would I want to know? Yes I would.

Because when you find out, you feel like an idiot thinking other people knew and you were the last person to know.

globetraveller

This one has already tried a different scenario here but got fed up. I am a regular poster on here but......Yeh yeh of course anyone who wants to hide tells everyone they are hiding.Makes a lot of sense!

phatbear

i dont have the energy to read through the whole of this thread but the OP reminded me of a very close friend of mine who started to have an affair with a married male colleague who was in a loveless marriage and only stayed for the kids, who when they turned 18 he was going to leave his wife and live with her.

Oddly when the youngest turned 18 his wife got pregnant with their 4th child which is amazing as he and his wife weren't sleeping together, i did ask if there was a very bright star in the sky when the little fella was born.