Heartbroken. What to do?

Errata

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

. He and his wife agree that they shouldn't bring a child into the world given the state of their relationship.

:doh: oh deary me.

paulineb_2

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

I never believed in love at first sight either. I meet lots of people professionally all the time. This has never happened to me before.

We only met once (last weekend); the meeting before was when we first met and it was very innocent (cups of coffee, talking about art, mainly).

Id hazard a guess that even though you say you have a strong connection, what you are feeling right now is attraction and lust. Not love.

Ive met people and fallen for them very quickly and they me, but not 3 hours. Absolutely no way. You dont know someone enough within 3 hours to know that you love them.

And I do believe your feelings are stronger because hes attached.

UnLucky_in_Love

HPoirot wrote: »

The feigned naivety, the over-eagerness to keep the conversation rolling on here, the drip-dripping of information about your field.

I think it is obvious why I don't want to reveal what my field is.

UnLucky_in_Love

duchy wrote: »

So he's 52 at the very least moderately attractive...wants kids but has never being committed enough to a woman in over thirty years of relationships to get married or have a child.... until 18 months ago. How much younger than him is his wife if children were discussed ?

Sorry but I do think if you access the academic grapevine you'll find he has a certain "reputation".

I don't know exactly how old his wife is. My guess is a similar age to me.

My suspicion is that he married her for the kids, mainly. (Instant family. He adores them.) He denies though.

lostinrates

paulineb wrote: »

Or maybe they are very happily married and hes just a lying cheating rat who wants a quick bunk up.

Yeah, I did clarify at face value.....

Yours is another, and I never call fol -de-rol (or is it simply folderol?) but sometimes I hum it at home.

thorsoak

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPA5PZ6l7z4

Maybe this should sum it all up!

Valli

MrsE wrote: »

Being single isn't a fatal or life-long condition you know.
Its a state of being between partners when you're free:D

I know that - but it's the OP we're talking about and she clearly feels differently;)

JimmyTheWig

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

If this discussion has shown me one thing then that waiting forever is not an option.

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I think that's the most important thing to have taken from it.

In fact, I would say that that is the _only_ thing you can take from this discussion.

OP, if I were you I would walk away from this thread now.

UnLucky_in_Love

paulineb wrote: »

Id hazard a guess that even though you say you have a strong connection, what you are feeling right now is attraction and lust. Not love.

Ive met people and fallen for them very quickly and they me, but not 3 hours. Absolutely no way. You dont know someone enough within 3 hours to know that you love them.

And I do believe your feelings are stronger because hes attached.

The age-old question of what is love. We push each other's buttons (but in a good way). We share a lot of interests. We feel completely at ease in each other's presence. We are undoubtedly very attracted to each other but the initial spark wasn't sexual at all.

Interesting theory re: attachment. Might read up on this in the wake of recent events.

UnLucky_in_Love

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

OP, if I were you I would walk away from this thread now.

And this is what I will do now.

Thanks everyone for their comments. You have provided me with the wake-up call I needed.