Heartbroken. What to do?

pelirocco

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

No thanks. Academic papers is the way to go. More numbers, fewer letters.

You should be well versed in statistics and the 'odds' that this is a wind up then;)

MrsE_2

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

Thanks Brewstersmum. You are right, if nothing else this has made me believe in love again, which has to be a good thing.

You don't love him, its a crush.
I'm not telling you this to hurt you, but so as you know the feelings are an emotion you will get over quickly. I think you need to get back in the saddle & start dating OP. Then you can find a nice single man;)

JimmyTheWig

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

I completely agree with you. We have discussed this and I will put it to him again. He needs to end his marriage out of his own accord (if that's the right thing to do).

But please remember not to wait forever for him to do it. It is not, for example, in the best interests of the children for him to stay until after Christmas.

As a mathematician, you need to look at the probabilities here.
Of all the men who tell a woman they meet and fancy that their marriage is over, how many of them are really in a doomed marriage and how many are chancing their luck?
I'm sure that you increase the probabilities of him being honest by the fact that the two of you clicked so well and that he seemed genuine. But even so it happens to people all the time.
I'd estimate the chances of him being honest at 2%.

So the vast likelyhood is that he is simply cheating.
But a 2% chance does mean that every 50 times it happens one of those times is genuine.

So if you want to give him a chance to show that he is in the 2% then go for it. But the chances are he won't, and that's why you shouldn't wait forever.

lostinrates

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

Point taken, but no, really. Academics have strange working habits but they rarely work in bed. (We talk work a lot as well, we are in the same field.)

Um.....

My in laws and friends must be odd then!

UnLucky_in_Love

pelirocco wrote: »

You should be well versed in statistics and the 'odds' that this is a wind up then;)

I agree, I should be! It is different when it's personal.

UnLucky_in_Love

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

But please remember not to wait forever for him to do it. It is not, for example, in the best interests of the children for him to stay until after Christmas.

As a mathematician, you need to look at the probabilities here.
Of all the men who tell a woman they meet and fancy that their marriage is over, how many of them are really in a doomed marriage and how many are chancing their luck?
I'm sure that you increase the probabilities of him being honest by the fact that the two of you clicked so well and that he seemed genuine. But even so it happens to people all the time.
I'd estimate the chances of him being honest at 2%.

So the vast likelyhood is that he is simply cheating.
But a 2% chance does mean that every 50 times it happens one of those times is genuine.

So if you want to give him a chance to show that he is in the 2% then go for it. But the chances are he won't, and that's why you shouldn't wait forever.

Oh, 2%. That's low. If this discussion has shown me one thing then that waiting forever is not an option.

Can I just say that I am not a mathematician. I apply maths.

hazyjo

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

What man would leave his wife and step-children for the sort of woman who only needs a couple of hours of transparent flim-flam from someone married to drop her drawers?

The answer is "none".

My first husband sort of did - although no kids, but at 30 (me) and 37 (him), it was next on the agenda.

She was married too. And had 2 kids.

Within months, they had left their respective wife/husband and shacked up together (still together 13 years on) - oh and she got pregnant within a few months with my ex's baby.

Mind you, he had known her for years (his secretary - yes, that ol' chestnut too!). She even came to our wedding with her husband (3 days after sh*gging mine for the first time).

So I can't say it doesn't happen... but it is highly unlikely.

Jx

Errata

I read the opening post and thought I'd clicked onto the problem page in Woman's Own circa 1952.

Person_one

UnLucky_in_Love wrote: »

No thanks. Academic papers is the way to go. More numbers, fewer letters.

What's your field? All the papers/articles I have to read certainly have a lot of words!

MrsE_2

Valli wrote: »

If you're desperate to be in a relationship, Mrs E, then being single isn't nice. As the OP opined...


If you've come to terms with it, however, it's fine.

Being single isn't a fatal or life-long condition you know.
Its a state of being between partners when you're free:D