Family cut themselves out of my son's life

HPoirot

Mojisola wrote: »

Explaining yourself to the solicitor will, in effect, be explaining yourself to her. Any letter you send to the solicitor will be the opportunity for another to be sent questioning something you have said and, before you know it, you'll be stressed and anxious again.

The issue IMO here is, if you respond you might be drawn into negotiating access, sleepovers and whatnot before you know it.

Mojisola

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Here's the funny bit-

'we have dvised our client that given the established and close and loving relationship that exists between her and WIGLET, it should be considered that it is in WIGLET's best interests to maintain that relationship. our clients seek for the contact that was taking place should be reinstated. from the instructions given we see no reason why contact should be denied.'

Ok, now ignoring my angry sarcasm, i'm just shaking my head in disbelief. What other lies and stories has she come up with? did she show them the texts? Ha, I assume they don't know about police either?!

Just a couple of comments - look how far you've come that you now react with angry sarcasm! A few months ago, you'd have been so upset and frightened - great progress.:T

Also - do you see how, yet again, you aren't in the picture at all as far as Mum in concerned? Where is her interest in having a "close and loving relationship" with her daughter?

Stay strong!

Angry_Bear

I know other people will reply differently, but I personally would write to the solicitor with a brief outline of the background and confirm that you have no intentions of replying again or of contacting your mother. I'd make it clear that the letter was to "help them advise their client" and not to your mother (although, as her agent they may well pass it on anyway). I'd post it then try to forget all about it all (well, as much as possible!) over Christmas.

You certainly don't need to explain yourself to her solicitor, but if they know, they might advise her that she's got no chance of winning and to drop it - which could save you hassle in the long run. I'm absolutely certain that if she tried to push this all the way to court she would be laughed out - but it would be better for you and for Wiglet if it never needed to get that far.

Just my 0.02.
Happy Christmas to all three of you :xmastree:

Edit: Just seen Duchy'r reply, and if it's likely that either the police or legal aid would contact her solicitor then leaving it to them would probably be best.

paulineb_2

I have a family friend going through a bitter split and who was painted as an unfit mum. She was advised, before the matter got to court, to get professional people to write statements in support of her and in support of the eldest sons request not to see his dad at all.My mum did one as she had witnessed some of the verbal abuse from the dad. A gp did one as well. And when it did get to court, they found in the sons favour.

Of course the other side will try and twist things, that's what they do. My mums friend has had terrible lies told about her. But she's not in the wrong. And the boy doesn't need to see his dad. And the statements helped. They didn't cause problems for the mum at all.

It's fine to disagree. I'm just sorry that there's clearly a personal element of dislike towards what I post by one poster and that's been evident on more than one thread lately. Let's just leave it at I won't respond to anything you say any longer and you do the same to me, put me on ignore if you wish.

op, get some legal advice before you proceed. There might be someone on here who is a lawyer and could speak to you pruvateky about the best options.

Have a fab Christmas.

missprice

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Hmm. So much for a quiet Christmas. Got a solicitor letter today dated 17th Dec regarding my mum. The police statement was taken on 14th and the arrest (?) thing was 15th. So either it was written late or in direct ignorance of the police action taken.


What's the date on the outside of the envelope, post mark?
With Xmas post it may have taken a week to get to you.

The letter is from a firm of solicitor that sounds vaguely familiar, seen the logo in the drawer of letters regarding my dad years ago.

I hope its ok to post bits here-

'we are instructed that since WIGLET's birth he has enjoyed regular contact with his grandmother (goes on to say he had stopped overnight)... we understand he has not seen his grandmother since October and our client has not seen WIGLET since then.'

Does not matter how often they had contact, if you want it stopped, then its stopped end of, your the mother and you do what you feel is best.

Now this is the real ring-dinger:

'our client instruct us that has attempted to discuss the matter with you direct but the texts messages she has sent have not been replied to. reluctantly, therefore, our client hs felt it necessary to seek legal advice.'


Hmm, forgetting threats, etc, or are they part of her 'discussion'?
Here's the funny bit-

'we have dvised our client that given the established and close and loving relationship that exists between her and WIGLET, it should be considered that it is in WIGLET's best interests to maintain that relationship. our clients seek for the contact that was taking place should be reinstated. from the instructions given we see no reason why contact should be denied.'

Gosh, I forgot the police were just kidding. Odd that lovely grandmother never mentions them.

It then 'formally requests' that the overnight stay on Monday night plus that full day be 'reinstated' plus 'additional contact' on a 'flexible basis'. And- 'our clients wish to resolve this matter with you as amicably as possible'.

It ends by saying 'this letter gives rise to important legal implications' we recommend you seek legal advice, arrange for them to contact us direct, we will continue to liase with you direct if not, please contact within 14 days.

Ok, now ignoring my angry sarcasm, i'm just shaking my head in disbelief. What other lies and stories has she come up with? did she show them the texts? Ha, I assume they don't know about police either?!

What do I do now? police or legal advice (had call from her today, just need to send income details not dr letter and it will be fine).

Its just a letter aimed at scaring you into handing over your child. You know better and you won't be cowed.
As far as I know its not a jailing of fence if you do not reply.
However if you wish to reply, do it via your legal person and do not write your own letter.
Also make sure that any future letters will be sent straight to your legal rep from now on.
Before you see or speak to your legal team/police get your list of what you want to happen with your reply, I.e.
No more contact directly.
No chance if even seeing your child, never mind having child overnight.
And please do specify these legal implications.

paulineb_2

That would be privately. iPhone auto correct at its finest.

Mojisola

Angry_Bear wrote: »

I know other people will reply differently, but I personally would write to the solicitor with a brief outline of the background and confirm that you have no intentions of contacting your mother. I'd post it then try to forget all about it all (well, as much as possible!) over Christmas.

Wiggy has a legal advisor helping her. The letter should be referred to her and Wiggy should follow her advice.

Person_one

I would ask your solicitor about whether its wise to keep posting such detailed personal info on here now too.

craftier

I agree, please leave it to your legal advisor to deal with, that's her job.
A friend of mine replied to her ex's solicitor, to put him straight, and the letter was sent straight to the ex - which didn't help at all!

Best wishes for a peaceful Christmas.

Filey

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

So should I ignore the letter but contact police again and legal advice lady (
/QUOTE]

Do not write to your MFH's solicitor !!. Remember that your mother's solicitor is not an impartial third party. He/she is your mother's minion as she is paying him. He/she will do/write what she wants him to (as long as it is not illegal) no matter how much sympathy he may privately have for you.