Family cut themselves out of my son's life

GobbledyGook

Do not respond Wiggy.

Speak to your legal lady, she will keep you on the right track. The is all part of the process your mother has to go through if she does want to try and get to court to get access to Wiglet. It's all a farcical attempt to play the "look we tried to be amicable" card.

Just always keep in mind even if she does get it that far judge will have ALL of the facts, not just your mother's skewed facts. Your mother's legal rep is exactly that - her rep working to her goals from her information. You need to ensure any contact with said rep is from your legal rep working to your goals from your information.

thorsoak

Wiggy - listen to GobbledyGook - she has gone through this - AND has come through to the other side, with her family safe and secure with her x

harrys_nan

missprice wrote: »

However if you wish to reply, do it via your legal person and do not write your own letter.
Also make sure that any future letters will be sent straight to your legal rep from now on.
.

This is very inportant, wiggy, a lot less stress for you x

DaftyDuck

Just read the (almost) entire thread. Wow, huge sympathies to you Wiggy.

One thing I have always had hammered into me over the years is you never, ever, ever write back yourself to a solicitor acting for any other party. Just never. As the last few posters have advised, ask either your legal advisor to do it on your behalf, or ignore it. (Don't ask the police - they won't, they wouldn't be doing it on your behalf anyway, and you'd have no control over content, and probably never have sight of what was written. You should simply briefly inform the police that, since they spoke to your mother on XX, you are in receipt of this letter, dated YY. Really just one line of fact. Enclose a copy.)

Your mum's solicitor will not think - even with all the evidence on this thread, even if there was actual video evidence -

"Oh, poor Wiggywoo, Wiglet and Wigpets; I will advise the WigWitch to bog off and not trouble her poor daughter".

More likely, your letter would be scribbled on, highlighted, analysed and pulled apart for comments, criticism and (mis)quotation in any further correspondence.

A brief (very brief would be best) communication from a legal representative that simply stated that mother had misinformed the solicitor on a number of issues, that the police had interviewed mother, and advised mother that, should further contact be made, WigWitch would be arrested for harassment. Any further contact from said solicitor should be made to legal rep, and not to Wiggywoo, but that Wiggywoo wished for there to be absolutely no communication on the matter whatsoever.

Edit to add - best luck all round, :xmastree: to you

paulineb_2

There is nothing that could be used against the OP. She had post natal depression, that is it. As I said in previous posts, a friend of the family is going through a bitter split with her ex, they arent married but I believe its different in Scotland re rights to see kids even if you arent married.

The ex partner is wealthy, hes worth about a million quid, easily, he earns a fortune a month. The mum has nothing, she has what was in the bank at the time of the split, plus what hes been paying her in CSA, which has often been late and not as much as he should have been, he actually went off sick to avoid paying it, hes technically self employed as well.

She tried to claim benefits, she was told no, because they have properties, even though she cant access them. He then started fighting her for custody. There were issues with the older son, emotional abuse and one incident where the child ended up having an accident that could have killed him and the dad refused to treat it (he could have done, hes in that line of work), that was the last straw for her.

There were control issues in the relationship as well with the mum and an incident that led to him being charged with breach of the peace. After they had split he then started fighting for custody of the kids. The older boy didnt want to see him, hes getting input from a psychologist due to emotional abuse and as I said before, my mum and other people were asked to provide reports which they did and the boy was not ordered to see his dad at all and the younger child only sees him for a few hours every couple of weeks.

I was typing on my phone earlier so it was harder to post detail. What I mean about third parties getting involved, is that sometimes you need people on your side, thats what I meant. That family above are involved with a domestic violence support group, social services were aware from the beginning, theres also been police involvement as well due to the incident. You have people who are aware of what you have been through, its been recorded, you have evidence. And that is a very good thing, there is evidence that this woman has been harassing you to the extent that the police had to pay her a visit and ask her to stay away from you. Shes still harassing you now. Personally I wouldnt think you have anything to fear from getting a lawyer to present to the other party the evidence you have that your mum has been harassing you for a long long time. Other people might not agree and thats fine, but before you do anything, get legal advice and whatever advice you get, take it and dont react to anything else she does. Dont react to snotty lawyers letters either. And I bet shes not disclosed that she tried to abduct him.

And as I said before the partner in the above case tried to say she was an unfit mum, that she was mad etc. Shes not.

There is no evidence that the OP cant look after her child. She had post natal depression. That is it, nothing more. And if everyone who had or has PND is an unfit mum then a lot of people would be sitting worrying

She has evidence that the mum has been harassing her, she had to send a legal letter to ask the mum to stay away, the police have been round, she has the texts. The mum has what?? The OP also has the GP and the health visitor who can see that the child is being well brought up, theres really nothing that could be twisted.

Again, whether its the right thing or the wrong thing to do for any third party to disclose the information they have about this situation (which as far as Im concerned is positive in the OP's favour, if it werent, Id never have suggested anything being shared), thats obviously something that a lawyer would be able to say yes do it or no dont do it.

Lawyers take on jobs, its their job, even if something looks ridiculous. However, if that lawyer knows the full background and knows that the mum is on a hiding to nothing (which she clearly is), he or she might then be able to make a decision and drop this issue altogether.

All I would say is, please try and find a family law centre or a low cost legal helpline, because its very easy to rack up a lot of money in legal fees, particularly as this is being done very much out of spite I would think and to worry you, also that shes made her move at this time of year when its harder to get a legal appointment yourself it being Christmas.

I was going to say just ignore the letter and toss it in the bin, but I really do think, even if its just to put your mind at rest, that you get someone who has legal knowledge to deal with this matter for you.

Citizens Advice sometimes have ex lawyers working for them. And remember, in law her rights to see your child are nil. See someone legal and take it from there.

And as soon as this is over, get a non contact or non harassment order in place so that she cant keep pulling ridiculous stunts like this.

duchy

I'm not sure what this other family has to do with Wiggy's issues. There is a world of difference in someone who is a third party giving a statement to a solicitor who asks for it for evidence purposes and sending a "plea" to a solicitor paid by "the other side". You really don't seem to understand legal ethics Pauline -It wouldn't matter what Ma Wiggy's solicitor thinks of their client - they can only advise and accept instructions from a client - they can't tell them not to carry on. They'd be struck off for professional misconduct !!

As for your rather silly comment earlier about "someone" . Grow up -Just because people are forthright doesn't mean they "don't like you" it simply means they don't agree with your opinion.

Now will you please stop banging on about "Asking Ma Wiggy's Lawyer" to play nicely with the toys. It might be a nice thought but it isn't realistic.

paulineb_2

You know, I think that when it comes to legal advice and Im referring to myself here as well, that maybe this thread should serve as a reminder, that if someone asks for legal advice and someone cant give it, always refer them on. Ive seen people on these boards being given really questionable advice.

I didnt think my previous post would provoke such a reaction, I certainly didnt think someone was going to say to me "we" knew what you meant, when a post had been made that clearly interpreted what I had said in a different way than I had posted it. I was trying to clarify, I didnt need or want a sarcastic response back.

Theres been advice on this thread that Ive thought has been complete pants and even if people did disagree with me, which some did, as I said more than once, I made it really clear that anything the OP wanted shared, would be for her to decide, not me or anyone else.

But I try and stop short of making a disagreement with someone on here personal. Everyone has different ideas, opinions, but sometimes threads get a bit hysterical and peoples imaginations run away with them.

I do think that given the fact that only a couple of people on the boards are or were lawyers, that the thread should be for support and anything else should be directed to professionals, the OP should be advised to direct problems to professionals. Because if someone says, I think its a really good idea for you to write to the lawyer, the OP then might do it and its a lot of weight to carry if it all goes belly up.

And I count myself in that as well.

Angry_Bear

DaftyDuck wrote: »

Your mum's solicitor will not think - even with all the evidence on this thread, even if there was actual video evidence -

"Oh, poor Wiggywoo, Wiglet and Wigpets; I will advise the WigWitch to bog off and not trouble her poor daughter".

I'd just like to make it clear that this is absolutely NOT what I was trying to suggest earlier might happen.Mother's solicitor will be giving her advice based on a very skewed picture and might well be sating "yes, you have a good chance of winning a court case". With the full picture, the advice would more likely be "sorry, you don't have a realistic chance of winning". Yes, the solicitor will still act on Mother's request, but the advice might be very different.

However, I agree that the full picture would be better given by legal aid or the police rather than Wiggy herself.

Corelli

Ah Wiggy, just when you were starting to relax ... it will be OK.

Something to be born in mind when ever there is a dispute around a child is that NO-ONE has any 'rights' except the child. If this were ever to go any further legally Wiggy's mother would have to argue that it is in Wiglet's best interests to be in contact with his grandmother. This is what the lawyer's letter is about. Wiggy via her legal team would be arguing that it is not in Wiglet's best interests.

Wiggy's mother can apply for leave to go to court to request access to Wiglet. What Wiggy's legal advisor should be doing would be to point out to the grandmother's legal advisor that the case is not as straightforward as grandmother has presented it so grandmother can be advised that she is on very shaky ground. However, I would doubt it a good move to disclose all the background as it might be best reserved for a case, without grandmother and her lawyer knowing what would be coming up. Not saying that a court hearing would happen, but it is best to be prepared.

This is best left to Wiggy and her lawyer to sort out between themselves.

So Wiggy, try not to worry over the weekend and talk to your legal people on Monday X

theoretica

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

It ends by saying 'this letter gives rise to important legal implications' we recommend you seek legal advice, arrange for them to contact us direct, we will continue to liase with you direct if not, please contact within 14 days.

The letter itself recommends Wiggy seeks legal advice and gets her legal people to write to her mum's solicitor. I think this one bit of the letter is worth following - send a copy off to the legal aid people.

The solicitor will be a realist and won't expect a fast reply at this time of year.