Family cut themselves out of my son's life

paulineb_2

Mojisola wrote: »

I wouldn't give permission for her solicitor to contact these people!

I meant for them to contact the mums solicitor. Not the other way round. To give a balanced version of what's really happened. Not the mums version.

A family friend is going through a bitter split and there were issues with violence toward the kids. And the ex. My mum wrote a report in support of the older child who didn't want to see his dad. She used to teach him. And the family doctor wrote a report as well. And in the end the boys wishes were granted.

My point was, the op needs people on her side who can back up her version of events. And I did say that she should give permission for what she feels comfortable with being shared.

duchy

paulineb wrote: »

I meant for them to contact the mums solicitor. Not the other way round. To give a balanced version of what's really happened. Not the mums version.

.

We knew what you meant -It would be a stupid thing to do .
Wiggy's Mum's solicitor works for Wiggy's Mum . They aren't an uninvolved party. Why give them access to private info (which they have no entitlement to) that they can twist and use. It'd be insanity.

HPoirot

NO! Don't get in touch with your mum's solicitor at all, don't get others to do it either!

paulineb_2

I didn't say anything about giving the ops mum information. My point is, giving her solicitor the real version of what has happened to the op. Ie the harassment. The attempt to abduct the child. And that legal letters have already been sent by the ops legal people. And that the police have had to visit the ops mum.

None of which is exactly classified information given that the ops mum knows about it. And was part of it. Given that she caused it.

And again. I said that if the op wanted any information to be given to the solicitor by any third party. It should be what she's comfortable sharing.

Or the op could just write a letter herself outlining previous events, the harassment and the steps she's had to take to get her mum to leave her alone. As obviously the mums lawyer is getting her version of events.

Or she could just ignore the letter. It's her call. My point was, if you have people on your side who know what you are suffering and they are willing to back up your version of events, it's not beyond the realms of possibility to ask them to help you give the mothers legal team a more balanced view of what really happened. As opposed to the mothers version.

wiggywoo9

So should I ignore the letter but contact police again and legal advice lady (that's who I meant)? It says 14 days so I thought it meant I had to respond?

I felt quite like writing a succinct letter describing previous incidents, police involvement, basically making sure they know what is really going on! Made me laugh at how sweet and innocent she's depicted!

HPoirot

You don't "have" to reply to anything within any time frame. Forward the letter to the legal lady and the police, the legal lady should know what to do. Above all, don't respond or take initiatives with regards to this letter.

Gigervamp

I'd contact the legal advice lady and ask her what to do about the letter.

thorsoak

As Gigervamp says - send it to your legal lady and let her advise you. DO NOTHING ELSE - apart from stop worrying and making sure you have a wonderful Christmas xxxx

duchy

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

So should I ignore the letter but contact police again and legal advice lady (that's who I meant)? It says 14 days so I thought it meant I had to respond?

I felt quite like writing a succinct letter describing previous incidents, police involvement, basically making sure they know what is really going on! Made me laugh at how sweet and innocent she's depicted!

I'm sure you do feel like writing that letter Wiggy-I would too- but don't !
Don't respond to the solicitor, contact the police and tell them about the letter and send a copy of it to your legal advice lady and forget about it til next year ! Once you have advice from both the Police and Legal Advice you can decide how to proceed. Odd are Legal Advice will write a letter to the solicitor detailing why access is refused and will continue to be refused. At that point if your Mum has a decent solicitor he'll advise her to give it up most likely or warn her how expensive it'll be to continue with little prospect of even partial success.

As for "having to respond" No you don't. A solicitor is a private individual who happens to give advice on the law. You have no legal obligation to respond to them at all.

Mojisola

thorsoak wrote: »

As Gigervamp says - send it to your legal lady and let her advise you. DO NOTHING ELSE - apart from stop worrying and making sure you have a wonderful Christmas xxxx

And remember that every time the solicitor does anything for your Mum, she is going to get a bill.

Because you have stayed strong and not replied to her direct attempts at contact and indirect ones through your sister, she is trying another tack.

Explaining yourself to the solicitor will, in effect, be explaining yourself to her. Any letter you send to the solicitor will be the opportunity for another to be sent questioning something you have said and, before you know it, you'll be stressed and anxious again.