Family cut themselves out of my son's life

duchy

Could be a number of reasons, sister had no credit or lost phone or Mum organizing for sister to do it .....in the big picture as they honoured your wishes about not wanting to see your Mum it doesn't matter much realistically. Unless your Mum starts hassling you again -in which case it's one more extra piece of written evidence that she hadn't respected your wish to be left alone by her. Save the text but don't worry about it.

KxMx

They did honour wishes about not seeing Mum again, but OP hadn't replied about the toys (if I recall correctly) so they/sister came round regardless.

paulineb_2

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I don't know who was texting, it said from my sister but was mum's number. They got in using the entry key that they have along with my old lock front door key. I didn't see anyone though.

They have an entry key to the building, I think you need to get that back from them as soon as possible.

LannieDuck

KxMx wrote: »

They did honour wishes about not seeing Mum again, but OP hadn't replied about the toys (if I recall correctly) so they/sister came round regardless.

I think this is one that they couldn't win really. Either sister keeps hold of the toys, which she may not want to do, or she drops them at a charity shop and risks an upset Wiggy later on, or she drops them with Wiggy. She tried asking Wiggy and didn't get a reply, so I think the latter was the best option. Doing it in a way that meant Wiggy didn't have to see them was quite thoughtful.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

I personally think that this will just start a more stealth campaign. I'd get that key back ASAP but that means contact. You are stuck in the middle really.

Can you move?

HPoirot

KxMx wrote: »

They did honour wishes about not seeing Mum again, but OP hadn't replied about the toys (if I recall correctly) so they/sister came round regardless.

And sneaks up on Wiggy while she's not looking and texts her to let her know when she's already left the building.

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I personally think that this will just start a more stealth campaign. I'd get that key back ASAP but that means contact. You are stuck in the middle really.

Can you move?

I absolutely agree, doesn't seem to be anything forthright about the way the sister came in to leave the toys. Or I suspect the mum was there too as her phone was used.

duchy

Sister doesn't have her own car (or is it she hasn't passed her test - one or other) so maybe to get to Wiggy's Mum and or Mum's car was needed ?

Tiddlywinks

Even if the key is returned it doesn't mean they haven't made a copy.

OP could ask housing association to change the lock because of the harassment - other tenants would need new keys though.

globetraveller

I think you need to be aware that she may well be reading this thread. I think it was particularly interesting that you posted about the letter being sent from family law and she arrives a few hours later hammering at your door.
Worth thinking about- have a camera or mobile at hand so that you can record anything that kicks off outside your house.This might also help if you ask to be rehoused because of harassment. It is possible-my sister managed this.
From what I have read your mum's biggest supposed hold over you is all about your state of mind WHEN YOU WERE STAYING WITH HER!! You now have enough proof to show how well you are coping now you are away from her. I haven't knowingly read your other threads but I think you need to sit down and think about how your life has changed so far. To get it to change 100% you need to shut her off from your life once and for all. She seems a toxic person. She can't continue to rock your life with every communication she makes. And I know that outwardly you are not responding but you are- within yourself. Everytime you respond by panicking and worrying- remember you are letting her win.
I think it would help if you sat down and wrote a long letter detailing how your life was like with her and then how it is now. You have professionals who can also back up how well you are doing. Perhaps round it off by saying that you think she needs medical help. It sounds like mental health need to be involved. It is quite possible that she really is ill. But don't get involved beyond pointing that out. End by saying that you cannot allow your son to be put in the same danger as you were therefore you don't want him to have any relationship with her. Now you can actually send this letter( and I would do it registered post) or you just keep the letter and read it whenever you start to have doubts.
As for a relationship with your sister- you know best. Sounds like she is not as strong as you. I would also question why your mother, who seems so controlling. allowed her to sleep with her (weak willed with no reasonable prospects) boyfriend? Can you see where I am coming from??? Probably the most you can do for your sister is to show her through your actions that there is a way out. It might be worth an invitation for her to come round with her son to your house for a visit. That way you have made an attempt.
Make plans for the future. Can you perhaps manage to move away once you have finished your course? In all the pages of this thread I haven't noted any relationships with anyone else. Time to get that sorted- start meeting other mums. Invite folks round for coffee. What about those you see every day at college?
This next few weeks may be a trial for you- don't bend to any pressure. Your little one will love Christmas with you.
You can't bend on this. You can't go back. Life can only continue to improve.

wiggywoo9

Hi its very VERY rare she'd be reading this thread. She has no laptop or netbook or whatever. My youngest sister has a laptop, but just uses it for youtube. She doesn't even have an email account. My mum does, but dislikes using laptop unless buying online and doesn't even know what a forum or thread is. None of them know this site, especially not the forum bit. I think it was just a case of her patience wearing thin and being 'right, had enough', that kind of attitude. I know her and that is what she would do, just get peed off and decide to sort me out herself.

I've been trying to make friends, working on my neighbour right now, offering help. Her kids came round the other day and as they are close to my son's age, he loved it. Trying to be helpful and friendly but not too overbearing. I've offered her to come round today but her kids are sick so don't know if it'll happen. It is frustrating! I'm also making friends at my TA class and have people at my book club too. Will try a new tots and toast group that just started too, not sure whether to go along to my church and resident's association too? It's tough cos he is quite ill atm so everything is thrown off. And I'm not at the school as TA til next week cos of CM so missing that and the kids!

I can't get that key back from my mum really and I don't think my HA would change it, there's 13 flats in the block and too expensive/hassle?

I have written a big list of stuff she did or has done, kept it case anyone needs to see it. I feel very opposed to my sister atm, not quite ready for love and hugs, feel like she is my mum's 'agent' and can't bear to think of what they're saying and laughing at me.