Family cut themselves out of my son's life

duchy

RAS wrote: »

Agreed; maybe if the two of them get together and apply jointly it would help???

Maybe ....but a lot will depend how quickly Dad wants to get fully involved or if it is more gradual -Might be too much too soon -and Wiggy needs to be the one making the decisions and drive these things with him just backing her up as she's the main parent in this context and needs to be clearly the one driving this and in control.

wiggywoo9

My ex lives with his parents still I believe- where my mum used to live. She moved to my nan's to take on her house instead of it being split in nan's will in the event of death, which is in a different area and she rarely would go over that way now. She does however know where he lives. I would not let wiglet stay there or visit regardless, unless ex had own place or went somewhere neutral, as his whole family smoke heavily and did it around his sister's baby. I am very strongly opposed to smoking and my ex knows this very well.

At the moment, I'm just thinking contact will be weekly on same day each week, increasing to twice a week if possible after some period of time. Then we'll see. Oh and there is no GF in the picture.

Regarding my mum, she hasn't done anything else so don't think I'd have much to use to put restraining order etc? If its been a while without harassment, there's nothing to show?

paulineb_2

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

My ex lives with his parents still I believe- where my mum used to live. She moved to my nan's to take on her house instead of it being split in nan's will in the event of death, which is in a different area and she rarely would go over that way now. She does however know where he lives. I would not let wiglet stay there or visit regardless, unless ex had own place or went somewhere neutral, as his whole family smoke heavily and did it around his sister's baby. I am very strongly opposed to smoking and my ex knows this very well.

At the moment, I'm just thinking contact will be weekly on same day each week, increasing to twice a week if possible after some period of time. Then we'll see. Oh and there is no GF in the picture.

Regarding my mum, she hasn't done anything else so don't think I'd have much to use to put restraining order etc? If its been a while without harassment, there's nothing to show?

Theres the incident last week and the incident where she tried to take your child. It doesnt need to be a restraining order, am pretty sure theres more than one type of non contact order, I think at least getting some advice would be a good idea.

duchy

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Regarding my mum, she hasn't done anything else so don't think I'd have much to use to put restraining order etc? If its been a while without harassment, there's nothing to show?

Umm
Was she not hammering on your door and shouting for half an hour and then sat outside your house just last week? Did she not need to be moved on by the Police ? If that isn't harassment I'm not sure what is !!

wiggywoo9

Yes I know that, but I thought it needed to be constant or continuing? That's what I mean

duchy

Continuing means over a period of time. It doesn't have to be the same actions over and over-it can be a series of different actions either each harassing in themselves or a pattern of behaviour that adds up to harassment. If she does anything now Wiggy-even once now she's had the warning letter-you'd be entitled to take it further and get an injunction.

trolleyrun

Hi Wiggy,

We haven't heard from you today. How are you? Hope Wiglet is feeling better and that you're having a nice weekend

wiggywoo9

Hi I'm ok, tummy ache and headaches again (with numb hands too bizarrely), wiglet has got croup and watching films.

Had a text at 12.20 saying 'its SISTER leaving toys outside ur door make sure u bring em in b4 they get robbed'. We are upstairs luckily, but looked through peephole, toys are there, stairwell is quiet from what I can hear and deserted. It was from my mum's mobile though?? No knock or ring at intercom. I'll leave it an hour and bring them in, unlike some people I know my neighbors and know nothing would go missing in that time. But is this breaching that warning letter?

I got cold when I saw the text, thinking, oh god, round two. Thank god I walked dog early today and finished making lunch early too. I checked blacklist as I know I added that number to it, it was on there still? So not sure how she texted? Felt exposed cos that means its been silence from her not my magic blacklist stopping some torrent of words!

LannieDuck

I would see it as a good sign I think. As long as they're not hanging around waiting for you to open the door, then it sounds as if they may be respecting your choice to remain out of contact.

Dropping off the toys outside your door is a good way to send them back to you without you having to see them in person. The text is a polite way to try and avoid the toys being stolen before you can get home (since they had no way to know if you'd be in or not).

Hopefully I'm not being naive...

trolleyrun

Could you perhaps ask your neighbour to get the toys from the doorstep for you?

I hope you're both feeling better soon. Keep snuggled up and warm as much as you can. Sending you virtual hugs