Family cut themselves out of my son's life

Corelli

meritaten wrote: »

Real Mothers support their daughters! they do NOT behave like your mother. Real Mothers do their best to enable the family 'unit' to grow and survive. They do NOT chase off the fathers of their grandchildren! they do NOT judge relationships! They do NOT throw out their own children! They do NOT then try to take control of the grandchildren! They do NOT harass their children! They do NOT threaten them with kidnapping their kids!
as a mother and grandmother - I think your mother is absolutely awful! on a scale of 1 - 0 she earns a zero!

Yup, that sums the situation up pretty well.

mountainofdebt

Dimey wrote: »

Does your sister work? You could send a letter and the presents to her work address. Or maybe via a mutual friend.

I've used collectplus a couple of times and have had things delivered to the corner shop - basically they send you an email saying that the parcel is ready for collection.

A little more expensive than RM but even using the economy service, the parcel was delivered in 2 days and if your sister has an email address that your mum doesn't know about then you could use that

Angry_Bear

I've just read the whole thread and am full of admiration for you!
Just felt I had to weigh in on the latest input from mommie dearest (and no, that's NOT how families should behave to each other)!

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Ha, thank you! I didn't realise how abnormal it all is, I assumed that's what families were like, so its tricky to find a base ground for raising my son if this is all not how people should act! As for 'young wiggy', I rather like that

I'd go for wiglet

I just came up from making the dog dinner and found 1 missed call from my mum, along with another text:

'MY NAME you could be dead for all I know stop being silly and txt back plz'

It worries me that she'd jump to this conclusion.

Don't you believe that for a minute. Again note that the text isn't "how are you, are you okay" but is all about her and her worries. She's just laying on the guilt trip to try to get you to respond - please don't let it get to you.

Dimey

Corelli wrote: »

Just a thought, and I'm open to being told it is not a good idea .. could someone else send a text on your behalf saying Wiggy and son are fine but need space and distance. I can't remember if you have contacted her at all since the original episode of her saying she would cut you and Young Wiggy out of her life if you didn't let her take him abroad for two weeks.

So something saying that you (sorry, not you,your son, she seems to have no concern about your well being) are well would give her no further exuse to be badgering you for news.

Not what other people have been saying I know.

Sorry about grammar and over use of commas there

I think Wiggy should wait and ask the Police on Saturday whether a one off txt should be sent or not. (Edit: Wiggy has ofcourse previously told her Mother that she will no longer be responding to her Mother's txts or phone calls so the Mother is aware and has no reason to expect any response)

I've always felt response to irrational bullying and threatening would just encourage the Mother to do more. And it would drag Wiggy down when she really needs to be focussing on building her new life with "Young Wiggy" .

Puzzled Dave's comment interested me too he said: - If you respond YOU are creating (tenuous) evidence that she does have meaningful impact in x's life.

That's certainly not the impression Wiggy wants to give when she's trying for an injunction/restraining order to stop the Mother threatening or abducting Young Wiggy.

So I think Wiggy should wait and be advised by the police.

wiggywoo9

I think I will wait until tomorrow. Had two more texts:

'will you just txt back so I no X is ok plz or do I need to phone the police and send them round to check your ok? your trying to stop me seeing X just cuz I wanted to take him on holiday? he would of loved to come you know he would why cant you just trust me? were going florida instead of spain hed love Disney land and all the theme parks over there? txt back plz so I no hes ok x'

That was at 11:50pm last night, I was just falling asleep. I then went to sleep and had a nightmare that I was homeless and was stealing food.

then:

'so wats happening about nans birthday then?' just before 12 this morning.

Just as backstory, she was talking about a big celebration, meal and flowers etc with all family for my nan's 75th weeks ago and bragged it was costing her £300. It is next weekend and I said before on a different post I ordered her flowers to her address but not attending celebration. I didn't mention this or any celebrations to my mum, when she spoke about it weeks ago, we said we'd go and she turned me down to chip in money for it. It now seems my mum's visit to solicitor was a lie or a disappointment.

Mojisola

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

'will you just txt back so I no X is ok plz or do I need to phone the police and send them round to check your ok? your trying to stop me seeing X just cuz I wanted to take him on holiday? he would of loved to come you know he would why cant you just trust me? were going florida instead of spain hed love Disney land and all the theme parks over there? txt back plz so I no hes ok x'

You need to contact your local police to save them a wasted trip out in case she does follow through with the threat.

thorsoak

....at least she said please!!! Some progress!! As you say, leave it until you've spoken to the police.

Like you, I believe that solicitor visit was just a threat.

missprice

Again its all about her tho.
Text back so I know
Blah blah.
Agree to contact police soon ish to prevent them wasting a journey although how you phrase that conversation is beyond me.
Your doing well wiggy just keep ignoring her and when you get some money get a new phone and number, so she cannot distract you with texts.

Keep to no contact and just thought if you were I'll or dying or some how indisposed someone would have contacted her anyway, so why the threat to call police.

paulineb_2

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I think I will wait until tomorrow. Had two more texts:

'will you just txt back so I no X is ok plz or do I need to phone the police and send them round to check your ok? your trying to stop me seeing X just cuz I wanted to take him on holiday? he would of loved to come you know he would why cant you just trust me? were going florida instead of spain hed love Disney land and all the theme parks over there? txt back plz so I no hes ok x'

That was at 11:50pm last night, I was just falling asleep. I then went to sleep and had a nightmare that I was homeless and was stealing food.

then:

'so wats happening about nans birthday then?' just before 12 this morning.

Just as backstory, she was talking about a big celebration, meal and flowers etc with all family for my nan's 75th weeks ago and bragged it was costing her £300. It is next weekend and I said before on a different post I ordered her flowers to her address but not attending celebration. I didn't mention this or any celebrations to my mum, when she spoke about it weeks ago, we said we'd go and she turned me down to chip in money for it. It now seems my mum's visit to solicitor was a lie or a disappointment.

Its actually ridiculous that a family member with such a difficult relationship with their daughter would phone police to see about sending someone out to see them. She knows you just dont want to speak to her and given her behaviour you have every right not to want to.

If I were responding I would say something like I am fine, you do not need to call police. And end it there.

Dont get into discussion about the holiday, again no way would I let her take your son anywhere given her previous antics. And I would let her call the police, no matter if its a waste of time, because it might actually go in your favour, if she called them and they came out you could let them know just what you need to be dealing with and then they might speak to her about wasting their time.

And if you go to your nans party, for goodness sake take someone you trust with you.

paulineb_2

I wouldnt call police, youve no idea whether the shift you would speak to would be the same people who would take the call. I wouldnt waste breath trying to explain that my mum is a control freak and is threatening to call the police out, because you wont respond to her emotional blackmail

Again, get another cheap phone and turn that one off for a bit, shes harassing you.