Family cut themselves out of my son's life

LannieDuck

Could you send a letter in an official-looking typed envelope addressed to your sister? Would your Mum open her post?

wiggywoo9

No she wouldn't open her post, but would want to see what it was if she was not at work when the post came, as my sister doesn't get many letters. I just want to show I'm not dumping her or cutting out her child from mine, and that if she did need to come up, she could. She hasn't tried to text me, or come up to my home, and she has a car so it'd take ten minutes. I don't know if maybe my mum is pursuing legal routes and is scaremongering that I should not be contacted etc. Or perhaps letting me 'come to my senses', thus them having bad feelings to me for leaving it so long?

LannieDuck

Does she have a Facebook account or similar? Could you msg her on there?

wiggywoo9

My nana's 75th birthday is in a few weeks, a big one for her really but as they're all there I've just ordered a lovely bouquet of her favourites and a card and hope that'll be okay. As for xmas, I bought both sisters things, her child, and my nan something nice, which I'll probably box up and send via post office or something. I just don't want it to be like when my dad sent gifts, they were thrown away, not even offered to us or allowed to like it. I can't really do anything about my nan as its her house they're all living in, my mum is doing it up and buying it off her bit by bit so it wouldn't be sold off in event of my nan's death.

Dimey

Does your sister work? You could send a letter and the presents to her work address. Or maybe via a mutual friend.

wiggywoo9

My sister hasn't responded to my friend request, that was months ago, on facebook. She doesn't work or have friends beyond her boyfriend. Not sure whether to send a letter or just leave it to her.

Mojisola

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

My sister hasn't responded to my friend request, that was months ago, on facebook. She doesn't work or have friends beyond her boyfriend. Not sure whether to send a letter or just leave it to her.

Do you know the BF's address?

RAS

wiggy

Let go. And then let go. Mum is trying to puish you and it will only work it you let her.

Do you still have any contact with ex or his family?

Have you checked out whether there are any Christmas events at the local library, in any of the local community centres, at the local churches?

Not necessarily on the day but the days beforehand?

newcook

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

My sister hasn't responded to my friend request, that was months ago, on facebook. She doesn't work or have friends beyond her boyfriend. Not sure whether to send a letter or just leave it to her.

there should still be the option to send a private message on there even if you aren't friends on facebook

mysecretalias

Wiggy you should still be able to send your sister a private message even if she's not accepted your friend request?

As for dwelling on it - try not to. Like others have said, if your sister and other family members want to try and have a relationship with you, they will, eventually, no matter how much your awful mother tries to stop them or guilt trip them into ignoring you.

I've been through the same with my youngest brother (the only member of my family who I really want to maintain contact with) and although contact can still be intermittent, I do now get to see him every so often, but at the same time it can then sometimes take over a month to try and get him to reply to a text because my mother has gotten her claws into him.

Even then though it took about 6 months from me cutting contact with my family to get my brother to start replying to me and wanting to see me. It just takes time, love. Try not to beat yourself up about it in the meantime or think it's your fault because it isn't. Just keep your distance, be patient and enjoy having your little family with your lovely son in the meantime, and in time it will pay off and your sister will realise how much she misses you xxx