Family cut themselves out of my son's life

thorsoak

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

What precautions do you mean?

I spoke to the nursery and CM about it all. Still need to make a GP appointment and go to Police station, though still unsure what evidence to take.

But nothing again, all day.

Does your mother have a key to your home? Could she ever have made a copy of your key? If so, change the lock ....and fit a safety chain! Make sure that all your documents, little one's birth certificate, etc are securely tucked away where your mother wouldn't think of looking for them!

LandyAndy

thorsoak wrote: »

Does your mother have a key to your home? Could she ever have made a copy of your key? If so, change the lock ....and fit a safety chain! Make sure that all your documents, little one's birth certificate, etc are securely tucked away where your mother wouldn't think of looking for them!

I'm pretty certain if you read back you'll find this has been done.

DCFC79

OP, read the first and last pages of your thread last night and have to say your parents are out of order. Didn't realise the thread I read the day about Christmas was 1 you started, thoguht you were brave doing what you could to have an xmas in that thread but your even braver now ive read this thread.

jackyann

thorsoak wrote: »

Does your mother have a key to your home? Could she ever have made a copy of your key? If so, change the lock ....and fit a safety chain! Make sure that all your documents, little one's birth certificate, etc are securely tucked away where your mother wouldn't think of looking for them!

Another useful thing is to make copies of important documents, and keep them somewhere else, such as a work locker, a friend's house or similar. As they are not valuable in themselves, it doesn't matter; but they can be very useful if you become unable to access the originals.

jellyhead

Wiggy it's different this time, so don't worry about the previous incident when you were struggling.

You've achieved so much and your life is going well. Your little boy has other people in his life who are aware of the past and would step in if you got ill again, so when your mum says (to the court, if that's where she plans to take this) she needs to make sure he's okay because of what you were like in the past you can point out that the childminder is aware of what happened in the past, and the HV.

You are doing the right thing and he is not 'missing out' on anything. Yes he's missing seeing the wider family (but that's by their choice, they could see you without your mum being there!) but your mum is not being a good mum to you and I think she'd be bad for your son. She isn't showing you any concern, love or understanding, and that's not the sort of granny I'd want for my boys.

mysecretalias

Welldone Wiggy and so glad to hear things have been calm for you and your little one.

If I was a betting woman I would guess that your mother has probably marched down to the local legal office fully expecting them to be on her side......and she's been told 'no chance....you have absolutely no rights'. Hence the silence.

Good luck for the future and STAY STRONG - DO NOT GET PULLED BACK IN TO HER GAMES. And for the love of god if she DOES text you.....just DON'T TEXT BACK.

xxx

wiggywoo9

Thank you. The documents are safe. I only sorted the CM and saw her last week for the first time, so she doesn't know about the situation or my past illness yet, not the kind of thing I like to bring up, but I'll try to broach the topic next week.

The HV only saw us a month ago and asked about MY health then so that's fine, gave everything, X's health, our settling, our home, etc., a full two thumbs up.

I had a surprise visit by housing officer yesterday, to see how I was getting on and to talk about progressing to an assured tenancy next Jan. It'll be a year since we moved in then and end of our starter tenancy. She was happy with everything and I have that in writing.

I spoke to nursery about situation and knocked family off contact list in emergencies, not mentioned past PND though, should I talk about this? They were lovely and supportive, very happy there.

Thing with police is that I don't have any texts that DIRECTLY mention abducting him, its always carefully worded or put.

Maybe this?

'if anything happened to me like UNCLE X than youll be wising youd let him'

'but I still want to see X to keep an eye on him'

I've only got things that word it to put blame on me like 'youre not letting', 'youre stopping', 'maybe you'll be more trusting'. Ideas?

RAS

wiggywoo

I would be inclined to go speak to the HV about the recent situation; I would not put it passed your mother to try a report to SS suggesting that you are mentally unstable and not a suitable parent. You could kill that one stone dead.

One of my past problems was that I was renovating a three story house (full re-wire which I had already done previously). Obviously I was doing this in day light in the winter at weekends only. And someone decided that she had to speak to me every weekend on Sunday afternoon for hours.

If I answered and told her I would ring back later, I got an earbashing then and hours later. I told her I would not answer during daylight hours so I could complete the job.

I ended up with the police battering on my door at 3pm because she has rung them because I was uncontactable and she was worried I had had an accident. They got the message and promised to ignore her up to 6pm in future.

spirit

I don't think the childminder needs to know anything about your PND Wiggy.

What she does need to know are your instructions about who can and can't collect your DS from her.

EDIT, oh and well done with the housing officer, I bet that boosted your morale a bit.

*Louise*

spirit wrote: »

I don't think the childminder needs to know anything about your PND Wiggy.

What she does need to know are your instructions about who can and can't collect your DS from her.

I second that - and the same with the nursery as well.

I think you need to let the previous PND go, you're only hung up on it because people keep casting it up. It happened - try and leave it in the past now. Your HV knows and I would keep it to just her now, it's no one elses' business.