Family cut themselves out of my son's life

missprice

Holy cow.
Wiggy my love, get away and stay away.
Your own mother stole your child and kept him from you?
She is bloody mental.
You don't need someone like that anywhere near you.
If you can't emigrate or move hundreds of miles away, then ignore her and get a restraining order and for crying out loud keep to no contact ever again.
You can do it x

duchy

I wonder if a solicitors letter outlining the possible consequences of continuing to harass you and threatening to abduct your son might be constructive in avoiding the need to actually go for an injunction?

Sounds like none of her other family or friends have the balls to tell her she's actingI inappropriately but maybe something more official would get the message across ?

PuzzledDave

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

That feeling of having your baby taken is beyond anything I've ever felt- never again.

If my mother (or for that matter ANYONE) had ever taken either of my children, physically pushed me out of the house, locked me out and laughed at me... well let's just say that when my lawyer was defending me in court 'temporary insanity' would be a great understatement.

I would never speak to her again, well at least I might think about speaking to her when I had calmed down after a decade or two. Not sooner.

A suitable ending would be to post your mobile phone to her with a simple note: Text all you want, no one is reading. Call all you want, no one is listening.

meritaten

ignore all this texting - to me it sounds as if she is 'escalating' - so be very very vigilant and careful. I don't want to nag - but you do need to speak to the police about her threats to abduct your son. I know what happened before was scary - but your mum put a different 'spin' on it to the police and they responded exactly as she planned.

This time it would be different. because you will be going to them as the cool, calm, educated, mature person you are.............and they will treat you very differently.
Your mum sounds, um, Insane? Control Freak?, Narcissistic? or a combination of all three.
Wiggy - all of us on here are on your side, some of us are Grandparents who cannot believe the way she is acting, some of us are parents and I am sure there are single people with no kids who are horrified and have posted with support for you too! We ALL think you are doing the right thing! its quite amazing really as usually threads are well divided!

sassyblue

meritaten wrote: »

ignore all this texting - to me it sounds as if she is 'escalating' - so be very very vigilant and careful. I don't want to nag - but you do need to speak to the police about her threats to abduct your son. I know what happened before was scary - but your mum put a different 'spin' on it to the police and they responded exactly as she planned.

This time it would be different. because you will be going to them as the cool, calm, educated, mature person you are.............and they will treat you very differently.
Your mum sounds, um, Insane? Control Freak?, Narcissistic? or a combination of all three.
Wiggy - all of us on here are on your side, some of us are Grandparents who cannot believe the way she is acting, some of us are parents and I am sure there are single people with no kids who are horrified and have posted with support for you too! We ALL think you are doing the right thing! its quite amazing really as usually threads are well divided!

Meritaten's right wiggy, you have to tell the police all this.

Well done, you are such a strong person really you should be very proud of yourself! X

Cottage_Economy

Wiggy i'm sorry you don't have the mother someone as lovely as you deserves.

I've got one of these 'people' in my family and it took a lot of effort to cut contact with this close family member to gain some perspective. I did it after reading this post a few years ago:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=33377267&postcount=20

I did a lot of reading in this time and a lot of reflection. I went through that list in the post above and basically wrote down every memory i had of this person and managed to identify the behaviour in each case. It was like a light bulb coming on to see what button they pushed to get what reaction from me. It was actually very cathartic.

After realising the extent of the abuse and how it permeated every level of our interaction and has done since i was a child I didn't have anything to do with this close family member for over a year. Now they're allowed in my life, but in very small doses - a couple of hours visit every 2-3 months and only with someone else with me to act as a witness if they kick off, plus a weekly short phonecall that they know i will terminate if they get nasty. I'd hoped to an arrangement where i could have them over weekly for a meal or go out with them for an afternoon, but it has never progressed beyond the short visit. Anything more and they start the abuse again.

I personally would be quickly and quietly moving somewhere else and building a new life for myself. I would be finding kind wonderful people to be role models for my child because your family are probably the worst they could have. If you want to break the cycle of abuse and stop it perpetuating down through your side of the family tree beyond you your child must be brought up free from the abuse. Otherwise what was/is your normal for you will become normal for your child once your mum gets hold of them. She may even manage to turn your own child against you.

Corelli

Hi,

I've nothing to add to what the above posters have aid but wanted to say good morning and hope you have some clarity to your way forward. You have already proved yourself so strong and determined, capable and caring - you can and will survive this for you and your boy.

Remember, 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger' and goodness, haven't you shown that already.

Dimey

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

>>> I did it after reading this post a few years ago:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=33377267&postcount=20

<<<.

Thank you Cottage Economy. I bet Steel's post has been helpful to many.

liney

You are doing the right thing. Normal people do not behave this way. She sounds unstable, and that can be dangerous.

Go and see the police and explain how scared you are. Refer them to what happened previously, show them the next texts and and ask them what help they can give you. They are not your enemy: the way they spoke to your mother, in an apologetic tone, was to calm an excalating situation and was for the benefit of you and your son.

Are you in council accomodation? Can you speak to someone about being re-housed?

*Louise*

Flipping heck....this thread has taken a really dark turn since the original incident on page 1 :eek:

Having just read your most recent posts....why the heck would you have even allowed her to take him for a week in the UK??

I think you're better off out of it all, your son will be better off brought up by a single mum on her own than along with a toxic extended family.