Family cut themselves out of my son's life

harrys_nan

:)Hi wiggy
Just wondered how you are and if things/life is getting any better?
We haven't heard from you for a while, so just wanted to check.

wiggywoo9

Hi I'm great, dumped bf so single by choice, just would rather read than bother with another human
Wiglet has his birthday party tomorrow so looking forward to that- just a bit cross that one person casually 'had something come up' an hour ago. Only 10 kids plus adults so not big, but put a lot of savings into this for him and a lot of effort.


On a more stressful note, had no contact or problems with mum, but now wiglet's dad is causing problems. Only got home from holiday 30 minutes before a delivery of 3 parcels arrived from him. Texted asking what he wanted, he hasn't bothered for 8 months, Christmas, easter, when wiglet was ill or anything. That was his choice. Says he had no money at xmas- a card is what, 50p these days? Hm. And wants contact- because he misses, loves and needs him, apparently.


I've chased this guy for contact since wiglet was born and he has always stopped or not wanted it. On one hand, wiglet deserves the chance of a dad in his life. But then, this man has never stayed in his life, never wanted him, tries to get away with as little contact as possible, uses him as a trophy *dad of the year* and has had so many chances before.


I am still thinking on this but I reckon, from how he phrased it he can't afford court and wants an easy way in. Might just say take me to court, least it'll show his commitment. Wiglet is happy and forgotten his dad now. He only saw him on 8 sundays last year, that's the total amount of contact for all 4 years of his life.


But yeah, things are ok other than that!

[Deleted User]

Yes, say after such a long time with no contact, its better for all concerned if any future contact is sorted by the courts.

He probably won't pursue it, its a very expensive process so see what happens.

wiggywoo9

Don't get me wrong, of course I would love wiglet to have a caring, doting father, but a father is more than an hour every few weeks. I think his dad likes the idea of a son- in a narcissistic kind of way. Forgetting that he's more me than him, as I've bloody well raised him!

thorsoak

You are sounding a lot stronger now, WW, more positive! I'm with others who say let the courts sort out contact - and by the way - maintenance too!

harrys_nan

Wow, wiggy, you are sounding so much more positive now, and in complete control of your life.
I agree, make wiglets dad take you to court if he really wants contact he will. I hope he does, not that I want you to have to go through that but, it would be good if he mans up and wiglet gets a dad. You have raised him and raised him well.
I hope wiglet has a brilliant party and you of course:bdaycake:
It's lovely to hear from you again x

*Robin*

Happy Birthday Wiglet! :bdaycake:

Hope you both have a fantastic day today, Wiggy.

meritaten

Hope you and wiglet had a fabulous time! happy birthday to wiglet!


I agree - if his dad is serious he will apply to the courts - as for now - honestly hun, he has YOU!

MothballsWallet

This part I want to reply to, and I appreciate it that I'm very late to the party as it were, but:

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

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I will approach my HA tomorrow asking for the entry lock to be changed, but very doubtful it'll actually happen. If they're not obligated to do it, like repairs, they're not likely to.

<snipped for brevity>

I can't remember if I (or anyone else) have said this before, but I'd approach the HA and say to them:

Please change the entry lock on the building: I am a single mother with a young child who is being harassed by certain family members: should my child be taken by any of these people, I'll be holding the HA as an accessory to child abduction.

(I'm afraid I'm a very cantankerous man in my old age.)

MothballsWallet

Birdie85 wrote: »

<snipped for brevity>

Oh and as for his Dad, if you know that he's defrauding the benefits system, I'd waste no time in calling in an anonymous tip to report it. I've got no time for benefit cheats.

I agree, Birdie, however, I'd be trying to talk to his Dad and making sure he's doing the right things with regards to the benefit system laws, and giving him a chance to sort any discrepancies out, not just shopping him straight away.

After all, we don't want wiglet to lose contact with his dad because wiggy's become a stuckach, now do we? It might make his dad stay away forever, or at least until wiglet turns 16.