Family cut themselves out of my son's life

DaftyDuck

cheepskate wrote: »

Op...so you got someone to look after your dog?
And do you now have childcare?
As is the case when you fall out with someone, you would not expect them still to do free childcare and free dog sitting.

Maybe this is the problem, that rather than go it alone as a single parent as you are, you keep going back to the family to get free childcare/dogcare.. and who from your description seem VERY disfunctional ....
An easy way to solve this is to stay away from them, there is no need to bounce back and forth . By making contact and having them look after your child/dogs.,then why wouldnt they think everything was ok with you and them...................If they are as bad as you make out then really you are doing your child a diservice by having him round there.

In the same vein, I'd suggest Wiggy make a section 75 claim on her credit card, or send it back under the DSR, assuming it is within 14 days. Given her LL has an obligation to provide a gas safety certificate, he's clearly in the wrong. Obviously, the fine can be disputed, and they certainly can't clamp her car. Gas mark 7 for an hour and a half should do, and Fibre should be available in her area. Hope that's cleared that one up!

Well, at least I make no claim to have read every post.... I just pop in occasionally, and wave at Wiggy, Wiglet, & the Waglet.

Keep going Wiggy, keep going....

Gigervamp

Lol DaftyDuck, for a minute I wondered what you were going on about there!

missprice

DaftyDuck wrote: »

In the same vein, I'd suggest Wiggy make a section 75 claim on her credit card, or send it back under the DSR, assuming it is within 14 days. Given her LL has an obligation to provide a gas safety certificate, he's clearly in the wrong. Obviously, the fine can be disputed, and they certainly can't clamp her car. Gas mark 7 for an hour and a half should do, and Fibre should be available in her area. Hope that's cleared that one up!

Well, at least I make no claim to have read every post.... I just pop in occasionally, and wave at Wiggy, Wiglet, & the Waglet.

Keep going Wiggy, keep going....

But you forget that the clock stopped at midnight/midday. The butler always does it, its a driveway you know and the cats paw prints may be needed as evidence.

How terrible to forget such important details.

And helloooo wiggy, wiglet and the waglet, your doing fine chickadee.

meritaten

Hope you all enjoyed your holiday!
You are doing so well wiggy! looking back your life HAS improved so much! and you sound so strong and confident now. Have every faith that the future will be even better - I do!

wiggywoo9

Lol I was a bit confused myself there. Though I had paid for dog to come with us, dog was very skittish travelling, so a good friend who longs for a dog offered to have him last minute and they had a nice week together (taking said friend to dinner as it literally saved my sanity!). I only today secured a new nursery place for wiglet, he had a settling in session today and really loved it. I think nursery will really do him well in preparation for school so very happy there!


So free childcare eh? What's that?!

meritaten

well back in the days you started this thread wiggy - negative posts would have upset you! now you laugh them off! THATS PROGRESS! Proud of you hunny!


and a 'milestone' for Wiglet!
hate to put a damper on things - but please make sure the nursery KNOW that his grandmother is NOT to have access to him. or your sister.

Mojisola

meritaten wrote: »

hate to put a damper on things - but please make sure the nursery KNOW that his grandmother is NOT to have access to him. or your sister.

This is good advice - some people can be very convincing "Mum has been taken to hospital and I'm collecting wiggy today" or similar.

Make sure they know they have to contact you before letting anyone else collect him.

You are getting past the stage of living in fear of your Mum but it will still be worth taking sensible precautions - think of it like having an insurance policy. Once you buy the policy, you know you're covered and can relax.

clark24

Mojisola wrote: »

This is good advice - some people can be very convincing "Mum has been taken to hospital and I'm collecting wiggy today" or similar.

Make sure they know they have to contact you before letting anyone else collect him.

You are getting past the stage of living in fear of your Mum but it will still be worth taking sensible precautions - think of it like having an insurance policy. Once you buy the policy, you know you're covered and can relax.

And make sure you drill it into them until they completely understand!

When my daughter was young I was going through a horrible divorce from a very abusive man. Neither him nor his family were allowed unsupervised contact with my daughter, and I had shown the school the court papers saying under no circumstances should they allow these people near my child.

I turn up to collect her from school one day to be told she has already gone, as her grandmother and father came to collect her to 'take her on holiday, and wasn't that nice'. I hit the roof, then spent hours with the police trying to find her (it was believed he was trying to take her back to his country of origin, as he had threatened to many times before).

When I had found her, and calmed down I asked the school what the hell were they thinking, and all they could say was 'well it's was *childs name* family, and they thought I had been exaggerating, and they thought it would be a nice treat for her to go abroad'.

So please make sure anyone else looking after the child knows, and understands and really bloody gets it about not letting ANYONE else take them, no matter who they are or what they say. The time my child was missing was terrifying and I thought I had done everything but some people just don't get it, don't see the problem.

I am not trying to be alarmist, just please get a letter from the police or something and keep reinforcing why nobody else should collect your child.

southoftheriver

clark24 wrote: »

And make sure you drill it into them until they completely understand!

When my daughter was young I was going through a horrible divorce from a very abusive man. Neither him nor his family were allowed unsupervised contact with my daughter, and I had shown the school the court papers saying under no circumstances should they allow these people near my child.

I turn up to collect her from school one day to be told she has already gone, as her grandmother and father came to collect her to 'take her on holiday, and wasn't that nice'. I hit the roof, then spent hours with the police trying to find her (it was believed he was trying to take her back to his country of origin, as he had threatened to many times before).

When I had found her, and calmed down I asked the school what the hell were they thinking, and all they could say was 'well it's was *childs name* family, and they thought I had been exaggerating, and they thought it would be a nice treat for her to go abroad'.

So please make sure anyone else looking after the child knows, and understands and really bloody gets it about not letting ANYONE else take them, no matter who they are or what they say. The time my child was missing was terrifying and I thought I had done everything but some people just don't get it, don't see the problem.

I am not trying to be alarmist, just please get a letter from the police or something and keep reinforcing why nobody else should collect your child.

God that sounds horrific I can only imagine how terrified (and angry) you must have been

Corelli

Good to hear from you Wiggy, and good news about the holiday, nursery etc. A thought occurred to me. Now Wiglet is getting older it could be as well to start using a password system to protect him from the possibility of abduction. Of course in your case it is not 'stranger danger' but this IO is worth implementing with any child old enough to talk and respond.

The idea is you have a password, anyone that does need to collect your child will know it. So if person X turns up with a convincing story of why the child should be collected by them rather than the usual carer, they are asked what the password is. If they don't know it they are not genuine. This was drilled into my children at a very early age. I think in retrospect, practising it with friends of mine that they knew would have been a useful exercise as well.

Clark24, that is an awful story. Thanks for sharing it as an example of the possible negligence of childcare professionals. I shudder to think of such happenings, every parent's nightmare.