Family cut themselves out of my son's life

Mojisola

Robisere wrote: »

I have no doubt that they will come back to you. When they do, make it plain that any relationship with their grandson, is on YOUR terms.

If you knew the background to the story and the way the grandmother has behaved, you would see how unlikely it is that she will ever accept a relationship on wiggywoo's terms.

mellymoo74

Turning up after being advised by the police would show she won't have a 'normal relationship'

You've come on in leads and bounds wiggy, you talked yourself down, you realised what your mother was doing. Pat yourself on the back you need to be proud.

meritaten

wiggy - if there had been the slightest 'hint' in your posts that YOU were the unstable one - I and many others would have picked up on it.
you are remarkably 'normal'!
honestly hunny, like everyone else you want a good, loving stable home for your child. and THAT is exactly what you have achieved over the last year or so.
I admire your courage - it hasn't been easy for you. but you have hung in there for your son.
and I think you have come to realise that your mother is extremely unstable mentally. its not you. its HER!
you have not inherited this gene this is plain.
I feel sorry for your sis and nan - but your mother can only behave like she does because they let her. and that is THIER responsibility - not yours.

wiggywoo9

Report made to the police, first time in a police station for me- and wiglet! They will try to secure a local something, forgotten now- where she signs an agreement to non-contact which would be upheld if it came to court. They will be visiting her formally. Policeman didn't think she would go to court anyway, had her chance and no relationship to salvage really. Feels good to have that done, maybe free now? Or too early to hope?


They are treating it as a domestic abuse incident/crime, which says everything really. Policeman did mention, after I explained the situation, that it seems we are very isolated. Wasn't sure what to make of that. Except from making more friends, there's nothing more I can really do. Anyway, they are handling it and I've got faith that they will do what they can

Gigervamp

Maybe the visit from the police will scare her off.

I bet Wigglet was fascinated with the police station!

duchy

Wiggy if she had been advised she had any hope of access by going to court she'd have done it by now. The policeman is right.

No doubt she has spent a bit of money on legal advice to be told the same thing........ No chance.

meritaten

Well done wiggy. I would have thought they would consider it more of 'harassment' or 'stalking' but technically it would prob come under 'domestic abuse' as she is your biological mother. doesn't mean they don't take it any less seriously.
Did the nice policeman suggest the Crime Prevention Officer come out to look at your flat to suggest ways of keeping safe? I think all stations have one - and it would help make you feel safer if you know you have taken every precaution. you can always ring and ask one to visit.
hope wiglet enjoyed his visit there! not a bad thing for him to know the police are there to help us. and stop bad people doing things.
you can still contact a solicitor you know - if you feel a court injunction would be more effective.
Don't let her limit your life wiggy - just be careful.

madrhino

Hi Wiggy. Do you have a womens centre in your town/city. We have one in Nottingham and it's a safe place that women can go and hang out and socialise, as well as having events and courses, all very cheap or free. Wiglet would be able to go with you as they allow male children up to a certain age. I'm just thinking that a place like that would be a good place to meet other women/mothers and also be able to help when you need it. The one near me has counselling and womens aid is based there.

jackyann

I think that when the police talk about you being "isolated" they mean that it would be good for you to have someone to turn to. They understand how stressful it is to not have a reliable family.

Madrhino has a very good point, but not everywhere has a Women's Centre. I think that you have mentioned getting on well with your HV - could you ask if there are any Children's Centres / Community Centres / Parents' drop-ins that you could attend?

These facilities are very variable from one area to another, but are usually good places to meet people, attend social activities, and for you & wiglet to mix with helpful, pleasant people.
I think that is what the police officer wished for you.

barbiedoll

Just a thought Wiggy, but would the police be able to pass a letter on to your nan when they visit Wigwitch? I'm guessing that's what he meant when he said that you're "isolated", that you are cut off from the rest of your family. You could also get them to take the exterior door key from her too.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when they visit her!