Family cut themselves out of my son's life

meritaten

OMG - I was just thinking of you and wondering how you and Wiglet are getting on..............and you post!
and I am so glad you did!
It is so heartwarming to hear that Wiglet is connecting with his dad. and his dad is doing his best for him.
and that you have made friends and are busy and happy - That is absolutely Brilliant news!
I think that I can speak for others when I say we haven't forgotten you - personally I assumed that no posts from you meant things were going well.
Please keep us informed Wiggy, we care and would love to hear about the happy events in your life!
Be happy - you are doing an amazing job with young Wiglet and your own life.

Mojisola

duchy wrote: »

I think it's really a good thing that you have this thread (and earlier ones) to remind you just how far you've come Wiggy.

When we met you -you had no home and thought you were going to not finish your degree and your confidence was at rock bottom..............and look at you now ! You have a secure home, regular volunteer work, more qualifications and a PGCE in your future..... not to mention a happy and thriving son !

Whilst I believe in looking forward in life and not back - it doesn't hurt to reflect how far you have come -and you aren't that scared girl who was thro-wn out by the woman prepared to leave her daughter and grandson homeless but a woman with a firm plan for your future.

Agree with the above. I don't think it's putting it too strongly to say that you've achieved all of these things because you've cut your mother out of your life. She would have held you back at each step of the way and made you feel unsure of all the decisions you have made. If she does ever try to push her way into your life again, that's a point worth making to your legal advisor.

The relationship that is building between your son and his Dad is another huge bonus of the split from your mother. That wouldn't have happened if you'd still be under her control, would it?

We're still all rooting for you and it makes my day when you give us update.:T

Corelli

What a wonderful update from you Wiggy! I'm so pleased to hear your news.

RuthnJasper

A lovely post to read Wiggy; I am genuinely really thrilled that things are so much better than they used to be. Also fantastic that Wiglet has a burgeoning new relationship with his dad, and that the littl'un is no longer being used as a pawn in your mother's foul mind-games.

This is hard to write without sounding odd or patronising, but I am so proud of you. You are a shining example of strength in standing up against difficult circumstances for your son. I'm glad you posted the update.

What a great future you and wee Wiglet are going to have. It might not always be easy, but you have come so far.

Keep smiling! xx

unicorn1984

:dance:Ahhh thats fantastic!!! I am so pleased that you are going from strength to strength in your life, and what's more, you are ENJOYING life now!

Its amazing what having a few friends can do for your confidence, and I can tell just from the way you are writing that your confidence is at an all time high. Its just lovely to know!

Carry on with all the good work and don't dwell on anything. If you DO receive any letters, remember that's all they are. Bits of paper with typing on, nothing more.

Wiglet is thriving and clearly not missing out on anything, so even if Wigwitch does rear her ugly head in the future, you have the knowledge that he is not pining for her, or missing out in anyway (infact, her coming back could disrupt his life, if anything, so its totally win-win for you from here on out!) :dance:

xxx

paulineb_2

Glad you are doing well.

GobbledyGook

What a lovely update!

You've done so well Wiggy and you and Wiglet are thriving. That's fantastic. Well done you!

wiggywoo9

To anyone out there,


I had two birthday cards yesterday from my nan and from my mum, to wiglet (his birthday is on sunday) through post. Then I had one from my sisters to him today. Feel like its disrupted the flow of things a bit. My nan just put happy birthday and £20 in notes for him, which has gone to his piggy bank. Sisters just put 'love always' and loads of photos over a Moonpig card of wiglet from ages ago. Now, mum's card is a little more disconcerting. She got him a Thomas card- and he only got into that recently, so how did she know? anyway, she put 'my gorgeous boy' and then 'hope you have a lovely day (there's money put aside from you at home) lots of love, hugs and kisses from grandma LASTNAME' then big row of xs and a ps 'all your xmas pressies fro me and family are waiting!'.


Since I come here with issues regarding the situation and most know the background, I felt the need to post. I have conflicting feelings- uncertainty (cos clearly she hasn't just forgot or dropped it, even though there's no more legal letters or anything, feels like shes showing her control from afar). She would know I read the card. Feel uneasy, slightly freaked out, then a bit of sadness too. A big child in me startied crying, cos I desperately want a mum, a good, normal mum. I even considered calling her and ending the 'break' (7 months now). It made me not sure of what I'm doing, still wanting my mum and family to love me. Should I try to speak to her alone? But then I try to remember why I did all this. It's so hard when wiglet's dad goes on about family, and so do other people, and yet, I have none. No-one calls me to see if I'm okay, or helps when stressed. No-one tells me they love me, and this made me break down in tears today.


Ugh, just want to be positive for wiglet and his birthday! Should I even give him his cards from them? Then what do I say when he asks who they are later on? Will he hate me forever for denying him another family, a cousin?

whitewing

You can keep the cards for him when he is older.

Part of me thinks if your mum were that bothered, she would just send the gifts not put a load of emotional crap in the card but it may have just been easier to buy bulkier gifts for children.

I haven''t read all your thread yet.

balletshoes

wiggy i suspect if you keep up your strong position with your family their cards etc will dwindle away to nothing, without you having to do anything.

So give wiglet his cards, you don't have to keep them for posterity (I don't keep any cards after the birthday event) so theres no reason wiglet would have for asking later who they were from.

Don't read anything more sinister into your mum's card than is on the surface - the Thomas card is just because he's very popular among little boys . Yes, the writing in the card is for your eyes wiggy, to make you feel bad - don't! You're doing the right thing for both you and wiglet, staying away from your mum completely.

Wiglet has a family - he has you, and he has his Dad's family. Thats more than some have, and every family unit is made up differently, doesn't mean one way is worse or better than any other.