Family cut themselves out of my son's life

JanCee

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

It was my sisters two birthdays this week and I sent thoughtful gifts and a card for both (can't afford flowers at the moment like I'd usually do) but I hope they like the gift each. it was something they both like- a comedy dvd and a supernatural book. Feels sad sometimes, like I'm pining at a closed door.

What a sweetheart you are, your family don't deserve you, they really don't.

GobbledyGook

Do nothing.

Wait until you hear from your legal lady.

Mediation is something she'll have to prove she tried if she wants to go to court.

The only time she can have a right to contact is if a court sanctions it. For a court to sanction it she'll have to show that she has a meaningful relationship with Wiglet and that it will benefit him to have that relationship.

The court, if it gets that far, won't care about what she wants or what you want. They'll look at all the facts - including the harassment, threats to take him etc and balance up what is best for Wiglet.

To give you some reassurance my MIL seen my girls almost daily for their whole lives. They stayed with her overnight at least once a week. She was a daily part of their lives. Due to her actions - threatening to take them away from me, causing them fear and alarm by banging on our door etc - she was basically laughed out of court. So even if it gets as far as court then that doesn't mean she's going to get contact.

wiggywoo9

Thanks, I didn't intend to respond, but wondered if I had to, legally? If there was anything I was doing wrong?

Azmataz

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I didn't intend to respond, but wondered if I had to, legally? If there was anything I was doing wrong?

Nope. Don't be brow-beaten into responding. You have been doing just fine in a dignified (and legal!) way.

thorsoak

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Thanks, I didn't intend to respond, but wondered if I had to, legally? If there was anything I was doing wrong?

Just pass it on to your legal lady for her to deal with!

securityguy

Azmataz wrote: »

Nope. Don't be brow-beaten into responding. Y

As others have said, there is no such thing as a "solicitor's letter". It's just a letter, written by someone who happens to be a solicitor. You're under no more obligation to respond to them than to pamphlets from your local pizza company, and they have precisely the same legal status.

meritaten

Wiggy - my first real job was office clerk for a solicitor and I learned really quickly that they love sending letters! nice little earner for them. and that actually, as another poster says, they are about as legal as leaflets for the pizza parlour! honestly luv - pass it on to YOUR legal rep as another example of her harassment. just because she is using a third party - this is still HER harassing you!

GobbledyGook

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Thanks, I didn't intend to respond, but wondered if I had to, legally? If there was anything I was doing wrong?

Nope. The only reason to open them is to see what the latest action is.

Speak to your legal lady and she'll keep you right.

Have you been keeping a diary? Make sure you keep a good note of everything. When they arrive etc. I kept a note of how contacts made me feel, but that was my decision. I wanted to keep a reminder for myself when I felt bad about cutting people out of how thrown I was when a letter arrived and how I felt sick at the idea of her being near my girls. I keep it in the folder with all the letters and contacts so that if I need anything they are all together.

GobbledyGook

Oh. If/when your legal lady writes to the solicitor to remind them that ANY contact should be through them as they are not allowed to harass you ask her for a copy of it.

I keep mine in the folder and it came in handy a few times when I had to call the police. It was a clear way that I could say "She's been told to stay away" and prove it before I got an injunction.

Yorkie1

I'd be very wary of mediation too, in wiggy's situation. It only works if both parties are a) reasonable, and b) equally strong.

Wiggy you are doing absolutely fantastically but if you have a choice then I wouldn't put yourself in the position of having to stand up to her in a room.

Mediation is not advised in some situations, one of which is a history of domestic abuse. This would apply to you, even though your mum won't accept that this has occurred, even less told her solicitor the true facts of what has happened.

As others have said, pass it on to your legal lady and chase her for an update on your present situation.