Family cut themselves out of my son's life

wiggywoo9

Duchy what do you mean not me not telling time??

We sorted it and he explained about just this month its for rehearsals so it'll be a bit earlier but keeping to same amount of time as usual.

Anyway, on another topic, the one this thread is based on. I wanted to message my youngest sister as her birthday is this month and I really wanted to make her feel welcome with us and not being forced into mum's lies/boundaries. I sent a light message asking about a levels and such, saying she was always welcome, and contact details in case she would like them. do you think this was right or not right in the situation? I didn't want to touch on the situation or family but I've been thinking of doing this for a bit. I wonder if I should message my other sister, one with baby, too? she seemed quite firmly on my mum's side so I wonder if it'd be a good idea.

The first sister hasn't used FB in a while so not sure she'll get it, but one with baby uses regularly. She hasn't messaged or friended me in all the time she's been on, beyond the situation now too.

paulineb_2

Your sister who was with your mum when she was battering your door a couple of months ago?

If its the same one Id say tread very very carefully.

wiggywoo9

Yes the same one unfortunately. But I feel a sense of duty, but is it foolish?

Gigervamp

I think the worry is that if she mentions to your mum that she's heard from you, your mum might try to get to you through her.

paulineb_2

I think as long as your sister is very much on the side of your mum, which she seems to be, offering an olive branch to her might mean trouble for you from your mums end. I think you need to think it over very carefully.

Also, she knows where you are if she needs you.

itsanne

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Yes the same one unfortunately. But I feel a sense of duty, but is it foolish?

Sadly, I think it is at present.

Things are going very well, but it's been a relatively short space of time. I don't think you should make changes yet.

You feel the sense of duty because you're a nice person. Try not to give in to it for a good while yet.

wiggywoo9

Ok, I'll let it go for now. Hope my little sister responds, if there's any way I can help her, I want that option to be available. I know what its like not having a 'safe house' if needed.

itsanne

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Ok, I'll let it go for now. Hope my little sister responds, if there's any way I can help her, I want that option to be available. I know what its like not having a 'safe house' if needed.

I think that's a good decision, Wiggy. Here's hoping your little sister responds!

thorsoak

I'm another advising caution at the moment Wiggy .....you could possibly wish her happy birthday on F/B, but leave it at that! Is this the sister who drove your mother over before Christmas? If so, she knows where you live and, if things become oppressive at home, I've no doubt that she would contact you - and its then that you can decide that she genuinely needs a safe house.

Yorkie1

I agree that it was unwise but it's done now so no point in worrying about what it might bring.

Just don't let your guard down and also tell your legal people what you've done.